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Singleness & Marriage, Celibacy & Sex

Posted on May 8, 2023May 8, 2023 by elizabethprata

By Elizabeth Prata

Sensitive subject, right? Not just the sex topic, but marriage too. In the 14 years I’ve kept this blog and 6000 or so essays, I have not talked about marriage or sex.

Firstly as a woman with no children, I don’t have anything to say to moms except what the Bible says. I cannot share any experience nor give advice on that topic because I lack practical experience. I share what the Bible says, verses, but not able to commune via experience.

As for the topic of the marital bed, it’s a legitimate topic and so is celibacy, but I am careful about what I discuss online.

But it’s mother’s day coming up, and it’s wedding season, so I thought that I might be share some (hopefully) wisdom on those 2 topics. And resources. My aim is always to consult the Bible first, and then to point to solidly credible resources for women to peruse.

My parents’ marriage was not a good one. My father is passed away now but my mother is coming up on 86 years old. Let’s just say that I was perpetually scared and never felt secure. Love was in short supply. Divorce happened when I was 14.

I grew up in a time of the 1960s and 1970s when things were turning upside down. The sexual revolution was rampant and open marriage was the thing and feminism took hold. I cannot relate to you the extreme turbulence of that time. In the end, I rejected it all, and I decided I wanted to be married and have a traditional life with a man, a college degree, have a house, career, security and love. Who doesn’t want that? Love.

So when I went to college, I fell for the first guy that came along. Fathers, that is what happens when you are unavailable to them in their formative years. A warning. We moved in together when I was a sophomore, and married after we graduated. Sadly, we weren’t really suited to one another, but I wanted to give it a go. He didn’t. Four years after we married, he found another woman, had an affair, and left me pretty quickly. By quickly, I mean there was no long-drawn-out petering away with tears and fights and ‘trying’ . He was there one day. The next he was gone.

Divorce is a violent act. It is two made into one flesh, being ripped apart. People speak of the horror of abortion, tearing the baby limb from limb. Divorce is similar. A violent ripping away of flesh you had cleaved to. Make no mistake.

I had an idol of marriage but no clue about marriage. I was not saved, which made it worse. The fools who think they have wisdom… Ladies, advice: Marriage is HARD. It’s two sinners coming together and mutually submitting. Our flesh does not want to do that, so it’s a battle. Genesis 3’s curse on men and women in marriage makes it even harder. Men will want to dominate their dominating wives. That, or become passive like Adam. Stick to the Bible’s guidelines for marriage, it is the only way to succeed in the longest-term, most pointed sanctification project on earth.

Having been saved now, I understand why the Bible’s many warnings and commands about adultery. Violating the marital bed is one of the worst things any human can do to another. It’s terrible. Porn is a violation of it. Lusting after another is a violation of it. And of course, adultery is a violation of it.

Many churches idolize marriage to the point of insinuation that there is something wrong with a woman who isn’t married. And childless? Oh my, a grieving topic for those who want but can’t.

Marriage is a norm for most of Christ’s people. He did give the command to be fruitful and multiply. (Genesis 1:28). But marriage is not given to all people. (1 Corinthians 7:7–9). And after all, we are single for major portions of our lives. Being single is not a punishment, even if it a lifetime arrangement.

Elisabeth Elliot married Jim at age 27, which was late for a woman in 1953. She was married only 3 years then Jim was martyred in Ecuador. She remained single for ten years. Then married again. Her 2nd husband died and she was single again for some years before marrying a 3rd time.

God sometimes reserves singles for a particular purpose (John the Baptist, Jeremiah, the 144,000 virgins of the Tribulation…) And in our times He might reserve singleness as a gift, protecting them from something of which they do not know. Or so they can focus totally on a task He has in mind. Whether married or single, we serve the Lord. That is the chief end of man, to glorify the Lord (in obedient service) and enjoy Him forever.

I had made an idol of marriage but deep down I knew, just knew, it was wrong man, wrong time, just wrong. But I wasn’t saved and I wanted what I wanted. Rebels gonna rebel. I wanted a man, marriage, and the marital bed inside a marriage. (I didn’t think it seemly to have promiscuous sex all over the place, that seemed wrong, just one husband, thank you).

But if they do not have self-control, let them marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion. (1 Corinthians 7:9).

I was saved a couple of decades later and then I knew God’s will for my life. I understood things. I am to remain single. I sort of knew that all along. Finally I was content with that, though. I am not really suited for long-term relationships. I have a hard time in relationships anyway. But I did ask the Lord to remove the burning, and He did. I am celibate, single, content. If He wants you to be, He makes it OK in your heart.

Theologian John Stott remained single and celibate his entire life. He said,

“The gift of singleness is more a vocation than an empowerment, although to be sure God is faithful in supporting those he calls.“

As for marrieds, and the marital bed, I found a wonderful resource from Aileen Challies, Tim Challies’ wife. It is called “False Messages: A Guide for the Godly Bride”. It’s a 21-page booklet online and it’s FREE.

https://www.challies.com/wp-content/uploads/false-messages.pdf

Aileen Challies writes about “Sex”, “Desire”, “Unequal Desire,” “The Heart of Rejection”, and more. She writes graciously, biblically, and plainly.

For example:

The purpose of sex, then, is to provide a unique means through which a husband and wife can know one another, serve one another, express vulnerability before one another, give and receive. No other area in marriage offers so much to gain and so much to lose. No other area in marriage so closely grafts the couple together.

I agree. It’s true. And it’s one reason why adultery (and lusting for others and porn etc) are so devastating. Sex is remarkably powerful. It is incredibly intimate. It is why God gave us strict instructions and boundaries about it. Sex is good between a married man and woman, but also good are God’s instructions and limits about it.

As the husband leads, the wife is called by God to submit to her husband’s leadership even in the marriage bed. As in other areas of life, she is called to defy leadership only if her husband demands of her something that would violate her conscience or God’s law. We can see this as a responsibility of the wife but we must also see it as a particular responsibility of the husband. He is to lead in such a way that his wife will have no reason to refuse him. ~Aileen Challies

This is something that newly married couple must find their own way on, mutually. Communication is key. You might be shy at first talking about these things, whether the activity is satisfying to you or if it isn’t. It’s easier sometimes to avoid discussion. But communication in marriage is important and so, it is important on this subject too. Not everything will be perfect right at first, but that is the fun of coalescing as you forge a unified pairing as husband and wife.

He must seek to be sensitive to her needs, to her desires. He must acknowledge the times where, for one reason or another, she might find it exceedingly difficult to give herself to him and must keep from cajoling her into acts that would make her uncomfortable or leave her feeling violated. He needs to exemplify leadership as a servant even here in the bedroom. His first thoughts must be for her. ~Aileen Challies.

Yes, she speaks of the ideal. I pray it is that way for you whether it happens early in your marriage or later.

Marriage, conjugal activity, and singleness and celibacy are sensitive subjects, very sensitive. In my opinion, there is nothing more sacred than the marital bed. But sadly, there is a lot of bad advice out there. Because sex is so powerful, bad advice in this particular area of Christian life can have more harm, much more harm, than one might think. Be careful who you turn to for advice and which resources you absorb.

Please email or message me if you have further questions. I’d be glad to try and help or find a good resource for your question. Meanwhile here are some GOOD resources:

Booklet, Aileen Challies, “False Messages: A Guide for the Godly Bride”.

Ligonier: The Puritan’s View of Sex in Marriage

Got Questions essay: What does it mean that it is better to marry than to burn in 1 Corinthians 7:9?

Got Questions: Does the Bible teach that there is a gift of celibacy?

Ligonier: Conjugal rights in Marriage

Martyn Lloyd Jones: True Love: A Sermon on True Love from Ephesians 5:25-33

Book: Redeeming Singleness: How the Storyline of Scripture Affirms the Single Life by Barry Danylak

Sunday Martyr Moment: The Coming Persecution

Posted on May 7, 2023 by elizabethprata

By Elizabeth Prata

Part of a continuing series I did 3 years ago. This was the concluding essay. It’s more applicable today than even then.

Foxe’s Book of Martyrs. According to this summary from Christian Book Summaries,

Writing in the mid-1500s, John Foxe was living in the midst of intense religious persecution at the hands of the dominant Roman Catholic Church. In graphic detail, he offers accounts of Christians being martyred for their belief in Jesus Christ, describing how God gave them extraordinary courage and stamina to endure unthinkable torture.

From the same link, the book’s purpose was fourfold:

Showcase the courage of true believers who have willingly taken a stand for Jesus Christ throughout the ages, even if it meant death,
Demonstrate the grace of God in the lives of those martyred for their faith,
Expose the ruthlessness of religious and political leaders as they sought to suppress those with differing beliefs,
Celebrate the courage of those who risked their lives to translate the Bible into the common language of the people.

Last Sunday I’d ended the first phase of the Apostolic persecutions with the death of Apostle John. He was the last of the first generation martyrs. In Foxe’s Book it is described thus: “Chapter One: History of Christian Martyrs to the First General Persecutions Under Nero”.

In the course of that first wave, Paul and Peter were martyred. In summary, Foxe wrote,

“To their names may be added, Erastus, chamberlain of Corinth; Aristarchus, the Macedonian, and Trophimus, an Ephesian, converted by St. Paul, and fellow-laborer with him, Joseph, commonly called Barsabas, and Ananias, bishop of Damascus; each of the Seventy.”

Under Nero’s persecution after the Great Fire at Rome of 67AD, the church at Rome was scattered, and this blew the seeds of the Gospel outward toward Asia. (1 Peter 1:1). The 7 Churches of Asia Minor were founded at that time. However, it wasn’t long before persecution followed the Christians at the cities far from Rome, and this is what Peter meant when he wrote, ‘you are being tested in various trials’ in 1 Peter 1:6.

This first wave of the persecution of the original generation continued under Domitian. Foxe’s summary again,

“Nicodemus, a benevolent Christian of some distinction, suffered at Rome during the rage of Domitian’s persecution. Protasius and Gervasius were martyred at Milan. Timothy was the celebrated disciple of Paul, and bishop of Ephesus, where he zealously governed the Church until A.D. 97. At this period, as the pagans were about to celebrate a feast called Catagogion, Timothy, meeting the procession, severely reproved them for their ridiculous idolatry, which so exasperated the people that they fell upon him with their clubs, and beat him in so dreadful a manner that he expired of the bruises two days later.”

After Apostle John died in around 98AD, The Third Persecution, Under Trajan, A.D. 108, began.

“Pliny was a governor of a Roman province at the beginning of the Second Century. He was monitoring those who identified themselves as Christians in order to make report to the Emperor Trajan. He wrote to Trajan around 100 AD.” Foxe wrote of Pliny’s letter to Trajan,

“In the third persecution Pliny the Second, a man learned and famous, seeing the lamentable slaughter of Christians, and moved therewith to pity, wrote to Trajan, certifying him that there were many thousands of them daily put to death, of which none did any thing contrary to the Roman laws worthy of persecution. “The whole account they gave of their crime or error (whichever it is to be called) amounted only to this-viz. that they were accustomed on a stated day to meet before daylight, and to repeat together a set form of prayer to Christ as a God, and to bind themselves by an obligation-not indeed to commit wickedness; but, on the contrary-never to commit theft, robbery, or adultery, never to falsify their word, never to defraud any man: after which it was their custom to separate, and reassemble to partake in common of a harmless meal.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hatred of Christians is coming to America. Persecution is coming. Christians have always suffered horribly in all the world throughout all ages. Christians in America have not. We are the cushiest, most comfortable generation, and as a result have grown casual to the Gospel and irreverent toward Christ. The charge of Jesus to the church at Laodicea could well be taken as a charge against us today:

“I know your works: you are neither cold nor hot. Would that you were either cold or hot! So, because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. For you say, I am rich, I have prospered, and I need nothing, not realizing that you are wretched, pitiable, poor, blind, and naked.” (Revelation 3:15-17).

It is the church at Laodicea which Jesus asks to open the door and let Him in when He knocks. It is the church at Laodicea that has left Jesus off the list of ingredients when they play at church.

Of the true church, Dr. John MacArthur wrote this to his subscribers in 2013, “It’s no surprise that true Christians are feeling pressures we’ve never before experienced. Believers today face open hostility simply for what we believe.”

[Ed Note: Brings to mind Pliny’s perplexity of the hatred leveled against Christians who were simply praying, vowing to do good and having harmless meals together…]. Continuing MacArthur-

“Our gospel, our values, our priorities, our doctrine, what we love and what we hate what we live for and what we die for- our lives are more permanently and comprehensively at odds with the world. What’s more, the situation can and will still get worse. I’ve commented several times recently that I believe that hostility toward Christians in the West will eventually give way to full-blown persecution, just as it already has in other parts of the world.”

“As the pressure on Christianity has increased, it has been interesting to see so many supposed Christian institutions caving in and surrendering. We’re now finding out what people really believe and who is willing to stand for truth. Christian organizations are having to ask themselves, What are we going to say about immorality, premarital sex, drunkenness, and homosexuality? Sadly, many are waffling.”

Dr. MacArthur continued in his letter,

“Our view is that the more heated the battle becomes the clearer we need to become on our biblical convictions. The true church will always embrace persecution when it comes, rather than run from it. Suffering for Christ is a blessing from God with purifying effects for true believers. When suffering comes, the church actually thrives. Of course that doesn’t mean that facing hostility and persecution is easy, or that it doesn’t raise practical questions about the present and the future- no Christians cherish the thought of their children or grandchildren suffering…”

The call for today is to remember the martyrs even as hostility and persecution comes to us in the West. Align yourself with the stance that Dr MacArthur outlined:

“As other organizations seek to evolve with the times, insulate themselves from hostility, and accommodate the culture, our plan is to actively stake out the biblical positions everywhere we can. We are going to articulate biblical truth more clearly and assertively than ever. In fact, as the culture continues to degenerate and biblical standards are challenged, every new attempt to undermine Scripture is going to elicit from us a loving- but clear-confrontation.”

“Dear friends, do not be surprised at the fiery ordeal that has come on you to test you, as though something strange were happening to you.” (1 Peter 4:12)

One of the reason above that Foxe said he wrote his book of martyrs is to “Demonstrate the grace of God in the lives of those martyred for their faith.” I plea for you to become solid in your stance and firm in your conviction to demonstrate that very grace. Get clear on your convictions and the biblical worldview we need to have. Stand on the rock.

When I originally started this series 7 years ago, I could see the need coming to re-connect with what real persecution is and to take inspiration from those who died for the faith without reneging on their convictions. It is doubtless coming to us in America.

The simmering hatred is more visible now in 2023. The COVID-19 virus and subsequent lockdown has taught us just how easy it is for Government leaders to shutter churches. The difficulty in opening churches back up as the COVID-19 virus slowed its progress through the population shows just how much of a target churches are of that hatred.

Let us continue in the faith, a long, unbroken line of glory from the first martyr to the last, praising Jesus under all circumstances. Let us gird our loins and stand firm on the Gospel, no matter what may or may not be coming to America in future days.

Ignatius was a beloved father in the faith in the time of Trajan’s persecution. He said, “Now I begin to be a disciple. I care for nothing, of visible or invisible things, so that I may but win Christ. Let fire and the cross, let the companies of wild beasts, let breaking of bones and tearing of limbs, let the grinding of the whole body, and all the malice of the devil, come upon me; be it so, only may I win Christ Jesus!”

He was eventually convicted and thrown to the lions. Ignatius “heard the lions roaring, saying: “I am the wheat of Christ: I am going to be ground with the teeth of wild beasts, that I may be found pure bread.”

May you be found to be pure bread, with no leaven, for the name of Jesus and His eternal glory.

theology

Contending for souls: The Wrath and a Confession

Posted on May 6, 2023May 6, 2023 by elizabethprata

By Elizabeth Prata

I wrote a few days ago in my essay The Forgotten God: His Wrath, that preaching and teaching on God’s wrath is an essential part of the Gospel. Yet in our day there has been such a dampening of this important attribute of God that we have marginalized it in Gospel proclamations.

I’d said I love God’s wrath because it is one of His attributes and I love everything about God. It is also part of His justice and how He will right all the wrongs in the world. I do mourn those who live under God’s wrath (Romans 1:18) and those who have already passed and will eternally be enduring God’s wrath (John 3:36). But God IS angry with sin. He WILL punish sinners.

Then after I posted my The Forgotten God essay I came across this tweet thread by D. Michael Clary. It touched me greatly. His humility, clarity, and emphasis on the wrath prompted me to ask if I may repost his thread. He said yes.

Please take a quick read of his confession. Wherever and whenever I can promote the balanced Gospel, one that includes all the elements such as law, grace, justice, wrath etc, I will. What follows is from Mr. Clary.

Michael Clary @dmichaelclary

Tweet Thread

I learned an important ministry lesson years ago from an unbeliever I was trying to evangelize.

I was on staff with CRU & he was a brilliant & thoughtful student. Over the next few years, I shared the gospel with him many times, answering objections & using all the tools. 1/10

To answer his more complicated moral, philosophical, and theological objections, I took him to meet one of my theology profs at SBTS. Despite all this, he could never commit to Christ. He was a classic “always learning but never arriving at the church” kind of guy. 2/10

Eventually, I moved away to plant a church, and I continued to pray that someday he would come to faith.

Fast forward a few years, he calls me out of nowhere to tell me he’d become a Christian. I also spoke to his new wife, who was also a solid believer. 3/10

Not only that, but he had begun taking seminary courses to explore church planting.

I was floored. What finally broke through? What book, apologist, or intellectual finally convinced him? So I asked him. 4/10

Someone invited him to a church service and the preacher preached about hell and eternal judgment. It scared the crap out of him and he surrendered to Christ at that moment.

Like, he legit got saved. Radical, immediate conversion. 5/10

Looking back, I’d spent the better part of four years appealing to his intellect, talking philosophy & theology. I wanted to prove to him how intellectually satisfying & philosophically robust Xnty is. All that is well & good, but I missed the one thing he needed most. 6/10

He needed to know what many Christians want to avoid talking about with unbelievers. He needed what I was too afraid to mention bc I was embarrassed. He needed to know about judgment & hell, the unpleasant doctrines that demonstrate, by contrast, the beauty of the cross. 7/10

God gave me a huge part to play in his conversion, for which I’m grateful, but the honor of seeing him cross the finish line went to another man who was faithful in an area where I’d failed. 8/10

I’d spent years showing him a “respectable” Christianity, which kept him comfortable in his unbelief. In scripture, however, we learn that “the word of the cross is folly to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God” (1 Co 1:18). 9/10

One plain spoken sermon, that clearly laid out God’s wrath against sin and the grace of the cross, had more power than my years of trying to reach him by the human means of appealing to his intellect.

In other words, the foolishness of God is wiser than men.

–end D. Michael Clary’s words.

That was the content I come for! May God bless pastors such as Pastor Clary and all who unashamedly proclaim the balanced Gospel in love and truth.

Further Reading

Desiring Truth: Five Truths about the Wrath of God

God’s Wrath: Resources from Ligonier

The Wrath of God- sermon from John MacArthur

end time, prophecy, wayside cross

The cross in public life

Posted on May 5, 2023May 5, 2023 by elizabethprata

By Elizabeth Prata

The Wayside Cross is a huge tradition in Canada and Europe, where it has abounded for over a thousand years. Granted, in those cases it is usually a crucifix, a pagan symbol from Catholicism, “In Quebec, and Europe, a wayside cross marks a place where the members of a community gather to meet and pray, and often commemorates an important moment in their communal history.”

Charles Bourget reports that there are 3000 wayside shrines dotting the countryside in Quebec, however, many of them are falling into disrepair because the tradition is waning. I wrote about the fate of one American Wayside Cross in East Greenwich RI.

Photo by eberhard 🖐 grossgasteiger on Unsplash

In America, the tradition never really caught on. They are still seen occasionally. In Bedford NY, one was erected in 1936 and it was hoped that the sight of it would invite the prayers of the passersby.

In 1922 East Greenwich, it was hoped by “those who placed this beautiful memorial to an exemplary life feel that it will indeed be a light by the way and a guide post to Heaven.” By and large wayside crosses, especially Protestant crosses, are not seen much on the public byways and those that do exist are under increasing challenge.

The point of the cross in public life is that it would point the way to Jesus. These were visual reminders of the higher being. That upon seeing it, thoughts of Him and the Good News would ruminate in the mind, and through the strength of the Holy Spirit, those thoughts would germinate. For people seeing such displays, who have already heard the Good News, perhaps its sight would loosen the bonds around the heartstrings and their conviction would grow, as in the allegorical depiction of Christian at the Wayside Cross in Pilgrim’s Progress.

A wayside cross was a pivotal point in the very famous book Pilgrim’s Progress by John Bunyan, published in 1678 and has remained on the ‘bestseller list’ ever since, never having been out of print. The passage is below:

“He ran thus till he came at a place somewhat ascending, and upon that place stood a cross, and a little below, in the bottom, a sepulchre. So I saw in my dream, that just as Christian came up with the cross, his burden loosed from off his shoulders, and fell from off his back, and began to tumble, and so continued to do, till it came to the mouth of the sepulchre, where it fell in, and I saw it no more. Then was Christian glad and lightsome, and said, with a merry heart, ‘He hath given me rest by his sorrow, and life by his death.’ Then he stood still awhile to look and wonder; for it was very surprising to him, that the sight of the cross should thus ease him of his burden. He looked therefore, and looked again, even till the springs that were in his head sent the waters down his cheeks. Now, as he stood looking and weeping, behold three Shining Ones came to him and saluted him with Peace be unto thee. So the first said to him, Thy sins be forgiven thee;”

It is amazing that the sight of the cross should ease a person’s burdens, but it does, for the person who is ready to receive grace. For every individual on the planet, there comes that critical moment, upon which the eye falls to the cross – either the literal one along the roadways, or the mental one having shared through the Gospel – and a decision is made either aye or nay.

The cross to the unsaved does make one’s soul burn, satan would have it so. But in the process of that the soul-singe the cross is emblazoned on the mind and heart and soul, thereafter to linger as a brand. It stays there, to rankle. Opponents of Christ do not want that rankle, and therefore strive to remove the cross from all areas of life even private property and churches. The right to display the cross in public life is waning.

The public crosses I saw during the course of my life affected me and were sure steppingstones on my path to the Lord. I mentioned the initial event that started me thinking about the public life of the cross in yesterday’s post, the RI Wayside Cross that stood at the intersection of my street. I saw that cross a lot growing up. Each time I did, I exhibited varying amounts of offense at varying times until I moved far away to a godless state and never no more was troubled by public displays of the cross.

The public crosses that stand alongside roads, hang round our necks as jewelry, appear on cars and trucks and shipgoing vessels, all can and do minutely penetrate the web of dark sin in which the the unsaved labor. If we see through a glass darkly, they see not at all, and the cross is the only light that can and will penetrate that darkness.

If you own a cross as a tie clip or jewelry, wear it. If you should be of a mind, erect one at the edge of your lawn. Do not let the Christian cross become a fading symbol here in the United States.

The visibility of the cross is decreasing in America too. Don’t let it.

The cross was a public declaration that God’s righteousness was satisfied. It is an offense to the pagan. (Romans 3:24-25; Galatians 6:14, Galatians 5:11). We should be no less open about the cross, mentioning it, affirming it, even wearing it if we have one. In doing so, He is lifted up.

theology

Balance in our theology is important

Posted on May 4, 2023June 16, 2023 by elizabethprata

By Elizabeth Prata

My blog is called The End Time not due to eschatology but because we’re IN the end time -the time between Jesus’ ascension and His return – and time is short. I exhort us all to walk worthy and be bold to proclaim the hope that is within us, because the Time is Near.

I love eschatology and I could write about it every day. In fact, when I started this blog, I did write about it most every day. But yes, I enjoy eschatology because His return is the next big event to happen!

Anyway, the Lord grew me from my earliest days of hyper-focus on last things, and I learned about other doctrines. I fell in love with the doctrine of Providence, and I enjoy biblical natural history (flora & fauna of the Bible, agricultural practices, and so on). I love discernment, since the Holy Spirit gave me that spiritual gift, and I like to exercise it, but not to the point that one of my biceps gets bigger than the other. I have to frequently scan my blogs to make sure I’m not narrowing in on one topic too often. This essay is a warning for myself as well.

I first read through all the Old Testament Prophets, then the OT histories and poetic books. I turned to the New Testament and of course, Revelation, an apocalyptic book. When that the first pass of reading the Bible initially was concluded, I now choose Bible reading plans that bounce daily between the OT and the NT.

Our preaching elders preach a book of the New Testament then a book of the old.

We should absorb the whole counsel of God. We should share the whole counsel of God.

In other words, as Christians, we seek balance in our learning. As with anything in life, we strive to be well-rounded.

That’s not to say that we don’t have favorite doctrines, or are well known for having a teaching niche. RC Sproul was known for holiness and philosophy. Phil Johnson is known for his expertise on the Psalms. Alistair Begg is known for being an expert on, well, The Beatles. You knew that was coming! lol.

I’ve noticed that some who have a social media presence and large followings who excessively focus on one doctrine above all others, who make their blog be about only that, or tweet about only that, or who speak about only that. These people tend to drift away from balance and become unbalanced.

Would you enjoy sitting under a preacher who only ever preaches on tithing and money? Or follow a person who only ever urged female submission? ‘Trump bad’ or ‘John MacArthur bad’ is a message from some who never seem to tire of harping on their pet one-and-only topic, but it sadly displays a narrowing of their theological arteries.

Omissions are just as imbalanced as hyper-focus. If your preacher never speaks of the wrath, or of sin, or of the Old Testament, that is not a well-rounded pastor. Of course, a person might know of these topics, but a failure to continue learning about them is part of the problem of drifting toward imbalance.

It’s not just the individual who falls into myopia. The pendulum swing in the global church results in imbalance too. It swings from one extreme to another. The Charismatic movement arose as a reaction against dead orthodoxy theology. The Sonship movement arose as a pushback against an impersonal theology.

Overemphasis in the reaction causes overshadowing of other teachings, to the point almost of neglect in seminaries or in lots of churches in one era.

Theologian Carl Trueman spoke of the importance of balance:

[T]he need for balance is absolutely crucial if the church is to witness God’s truth to the world, and a failure to speak the whole counsel of God is a critical weakness in our testimony as Christians.

He was talking about the need for an equal mental attention to systematic theology and biblical theology, but we take his point.

In the 1970-80s, eschatology was IN. A whole generation of people grew up with Left Behind, Hell Houses at Halloween, and even music on the topic (I Wish We’d All Been Ready).

By the 1990-2000s, eschatology was OUT. Seminaries didn’t focus on it too much, which resulted in a host of graduates for a generation with little attention paid to the subject. In the 2020’s eschatology is back, but not the dispensational flavor, but amillennial.

Theological myopia sets in. Neglect of the whole counsel of God stirs a narrowing of your worldview, which soon enough, views ONLY your pet doctrine or theory. Don’t let that happen to you.

How to stop hyper-focus from happening?

BIBLE READING

What can help us keep our theology balanced? Of course, the Bible, first and foremost. Read it widely. Read it frequently. The more grounded in the Word you are the more you will stand upon solid ground. If not, you’ll end up cherry picking verses out of context that you want to support your pet theory in conversation (or papers, or tweets). Choose a balanced Bible Reading Plan.

ABSORB A VARIETY OF MATERIAL FROM DIFFERENT PEOPLE

Apart from your own pastor each week, I’m sure you listen to sermons and podcasts online. Listen to a few different ones. I listen to both women and men, cultural issues oriented and theology oriented. I listen to a variety of preachers; some of them are from today and some are from long ago. I read books on different topics, not just the one or two topics I especially enjoy. I am sensitive to the guidance of the Spirit when I’m reading the Bible for new topics to follow up on. Lately I’ve followed up on a couple chapters in Romans (sin AKA Hamartiology) and the Blood of Christ. Absorb material from different eras. I enjoy current magazines but also pamphlets from the past, from the 1800s all the way down to Augustine.

PRAYER

In my discipling of younger women, I always tell them to seek the Holy Spirit in prayer. It’s a common refrain from me, but it’s a truism. His ministry is to point us to truth. He is the Illuminator. He convicts of sin. He keeps our heart aligned with God’s affections and our mind transforming every day. He is our greatest resource! Ask Him to keep you balanced. Ask Him to help you find appropriate middle ground.

SOCIAL MEDIA

If you engage on social media through blogs, tweets, Instagram, or other, look over what you have produced lately to see if you’re drifting into a narrowing. Scan backward and get an idea of the flavors of your output. There is a difference between following up on a topic deeply for a while, and succumbing to a rut where that is all you ever think about, pray about, write about. Social media is a conversation but it is also a chronicle. It can be your own keeper of your recent interests. Check it to see how you’re doing!

We can all pray for what martyr Jim Elliot sought:

Lord, give me firmness without hardness, steadfastness without dogmatism, and love without weakness.”
Jim Elliot, quoted in The Berean Call, Bend, Oregon, March 1997

encouragement, God's attributes, wrath

The Forgotten God: His wrath

Posted on May 3, 2023May 3, 2023 by elizabethprata

By Elizabeth Prata

I’m big on God’s wrath. It is rarely taught from the pulpit, even rarer is the new book on it, children aren’t taught it, today’s theologians ignore it. I love God’s wrath because it is an expression of one of His holy attributes: justice, and because I love Jesus, I love ALL of Him.

I am in awe of His wrath, and if I think on it longer than a moment or two, I will cry over it. God’s wrath is already being revealed (Romans 1:18) and it is a mind-bending, majestic thing. This attribute is still a necessary portion of who God is and we must understand it to proclaim it.

God’s wrath is very present, very real, and very imminent.

John 3:36, Whoever believes in the Son has eternal life; whoever does not obey the Son shall not see life, but the wrath of God remains on him.

Matthew 10:28 And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

Too many Gospel proclamations have shifted from ‘God is angry with sin and will punish unless…’ to, ‘God loves you and has a plan for your life…’

Revive the wrath! In a long ago issue of Credo Magazine, the topic was “The Forgotten God: Divine Attributes We Are Ashamed of and Why We Shouldn’t Be“. I especially enjoyed the article “Should We Teach Our Children about the Wrath of God?” Check it out. It is free online. (cached)

The Forgotten God: Divine Attributes We Are Ashamed of and Why We Shouldn’t Be ->

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The Last Day of an Unconverted Man

Posted on May 2, 2023May 2, 2023 by elizabethprata

By Elizabeth Prata

He was comfortably retired. He was old. On a fine and bright winter’s day in Sunny Florida, an unconverted man left his fine and comfortable home, and drove toward town. Where he was going…only God knows. Perhaps to the store to pick up a newspaper or milk. Perhaps to the diner to commune with cronies. Perhaps just to take a nice drive along the shore and admire the day.

Continue reading →

theology

Steady as a Rock at the Helm: A Sailing Story

Posted on May 1, 2023May 1, 2023 by elizabethprata

By Elizabeth Prata

Valley of Vision, “Voyage”

VOYAGE

O LORD OF THE OCEANS,

My little boat sails on a restless sea,
Grant that Jesus may sit at the helm and steer me safely;
allow no adverse currents to divert my heavenward course,
let not my faith be wrecked amid storms and shoals;
bring me to harbor with flying pennants,
hull unbreached, cargo unspoiled.

I ask great things,
expect great things,
shall receive great things.

I venture on You wholly, fully,
my wind, sunshine, anchor, defense.

The voyage is long, the waves high, the storms pitiless,
but my helm is held steady,
Your Word secures safe passage,
Your grace wafts me onward,
my haven is guaranteed.

This day will bring me nearer home,
Grant me holy consistency in every transaction,
my peace flowing as a running tide,
my righteousness as every chasing wave.

Help me to live circumspectly,
with skill to convert every care into prayer,
Halo my path with gentleness and love,
smooth every asperity of temper;
let me not forget how easy it is to occasion grief;
may I strive to bind up every wound,
and pour oil on all troubled waters.

May the world this day be happier and better because I live.
Let my mast before me be the Savior’s cross,
and every oncoming wave the fountain in His side.

Help me, protect me in the moving sea
until I reach the shore of unceasing praise.

From The Valley of Vision, A Collection of Puritan Prayers and Devotions

The Bible is full of agricultural metaphors and references. Many of these are lost on me because I never gardened and I’m unfamiliar with animals. But researching them is fun and learning the meaning behind them gives greater meaning of the word of God. That’s a good thing.

However, when the Bible gives sailing metaphors, I am so happy because I have experience with those! I was a mariner for 2 years, living on our own 37′ sailboat. We sailed from Maine to the Bahamas and back, and then turned around and did it again. I’ve been in storms, wind, lee shores, drifted away, rocks, peril, calm seas, and all the rest.

We sailed about 12,000 nautical miles.

So I was preparing to launch off on our sailing voyage. I had a lot of experience with being on the water, having grown up in The Ocean State of Rhode Island. My grandparents had a house on the Bay and we were always messing about in boats. But they were rowboats or motorboats. I had little experience sailing. To prepare for our own voyage on the sailboat, I decided to take a sailing course from the Annapolis Sailing School. It was a four day journey from Tampa, Florida to the Dry Tortugas and back, captained by an experience sailor who would teach the students who signed up. I was the only woman, and there were 2 other guys plus the captain.

From Tampa to Dry Tortugas is about 150 nautical miles. We’d be making an overnight passage after pulling in to Venice, Fl for a short replenishment.

The area around the Dry Tortugas is shallow with shoals. That means we could go aground if we strayed from the navigable channel.

Source. Lighter blue water is shallower. It gets lighter blue until it’s white; which is shallowest of all, sand!

source. Not our boat. Landscape-about 2′ above sea level. Hard to see in the dark or even the daylight. Navigation needs to be precise or you’ll miss the island completely & be in Cuba before you know it

We ran into some technical trouble. My voyage was 33 years ago so I can’t quite remember what it was. The Global Positioning System (GPS) had been invented but it was military use only at that point. We relied on the old Loran, and as a backup, Radio Direction Finder (RDF).

The weather kicked up. Of course. Just as the boat was in trouble, the weather turned nasty. Waves piled up. Because we had to pull into Venice to get fixed, and took off again, we wound up approaching the Dry Tortugas at night. Not good.

I was steering. The captain talked me in to the harbor. The two men were on the bow as lookout for shoals and shallow water. The captain would take a reading (with the notoriously unreliable RDF) and tell me what compass direction to steer. It was hard because the waves and currents wanted to push me off.

We were white-knuckling it like that for a long time. At one point, the Captain gave me a compliment. It stands even 33 years later as one of the top compliments in my life:

“You’re steady as a rock at the helm.”

That meant a lot to me. I had worked hard to adhere to his guidance and directions in order to make harbor safely.

As with all my sailing stories, I try to compare to my Christian life. The experiences I had during my traveling years (the ones I call my Ecclesiastes, ‘striving after wind years’) were lessons. What lesson can I learn from the drama of the risky passage to the Dry Tortugas?

Unexpected things happen as we go through the days of our life. Shoals, storms, nightfall, rocks, boat failures…But I had a compass and a knowledgeable captain talking me in. Our Lord gave us His word and His Spirit to talk us in to safe harbor. What we need to do is steer by that. On our own, we hit the rocks, go aground, get in all sorts of trouble…the only reliable guide is Jesus. His harbor is small and the way is difficult and narrow. Usually there will be a storm…or two…or a hundred. There is only one way to get there. Abandoning His word for our own ideas on how to steer will only bring trouble. Be steady as a rock at the helm, relying on THE Rock!

Kay Cude Poetry: The issue is you will either BELIEVE or REJECT

Posted on April 30, 2023 by elizabethprata

Kay Cude poetry. Click to enlarge. Used with Permission

theology

What if I decide something that’s not in God’s will?

Posted on April 29, 2023April 29, 2023 by elizabethprata

By Elizabeth Prata

A reader asked the question in the title. I appreciate questions like this, not only because it glorifies God to seek His will, and not only because I enjoy ministering to my sisters, but because questions based on the Bible drive me TO the Bible and researching helps me grow as well. The more we ask questions of the word of God, the more that the Spirit through His word will minister to us. Ask questions of your pastor, an older sister in Christ, and directly to the Word. The Spirit won’t answer back audibly, but the word IS living and active, and He will lead you toward holiness and sanctification because He leads us to and points to Christ always.

God’s will is that we strive toward holiness all the time, every day. He wills – commands – that we kill our sin and obey His holy precepts.

“We do not usually hear about a God who commands obedience, who asserts His authority over the universe and insists we bow down to His anointed Messiah.”
~RC Sproul, “Does God Control Everything?”

So often, Christians who want to obey become paralyzed with indecision, thinking if they go to this college, or join the Army instead of the Marines, or marry this woman and not that woman, they will destroy the path God has set out for them to follow. First, we puny humans can’t do anything to thwart God’s will for us. Second, His will is spelled out in Scripture.

Let’s begin with a simple assumption. Since God has a will for us, He must want us to know it. If so, then we could expect Him to communicate it to us in the most obvious way. How would that be? Through the Bible, His revelation. Therefore, I believe that what one needs to know about the will of God is clearly revealed in the pages of the Word of God. God’s will is, in fact, very explicit in Scripture. ~John MacArthur, Found: God’s WIll.

Be saturated with the things of Christ, absorb His Word, be consumed with His person.

That pamphlet explains 5 duties of Christians to follow His will, then a sixth (I’ll reveal it at the end!). As long as we are saved, submitted, striving along the road of sanctification, and periodically suffering, you’re in God’s will. After that, just decide.

Decision making is not a partnership, really, but we do decide things and at the same time, God is providentially ordaining it. We don’t understand exactly how this works, only that all the decisions made, for example, in the case of Joseph and his brothers, the brothers MEANT for evil but God MEANT it for good. He doesn’t just clean up the aftermath of any poor decisions, He ordains them…yet we also freely decide. Joseph’s brothers decided what to do with Joseph. Kill Him? No. Put him in a pit? Maybe. Sell him? Yes. They went through a decision making process, and came to a conclusion about what to do. (Bad decisions, obviously, but here, I’m just remarking that we freely decide what to do on a day by day or moment by moment basis, while God ordains it all for His glory and His plan).

Look in the Bible at how many times Paul said “I decided,” or “I resolved to”. In Titus 3:12 he decided to spend the winter in Nicopolis, he decided between Tychicus or Artemas as Titus’ replacement, he decided to send Onesimus back to Philemon. Paul decided to take Timothy with him (Acts 16:3). He was minutely directed by the Spirit to an exceptional degree as an Apostle, yet Paul still decided things. In 1 Corinthians 7:39 women decide to marry ‘whom they will’ (only in the Lord).

My best advice is to be in the word of God, every day or as nearly every day as you can be, keep praying for God’s will to be done, which includes us making the best, most moral, God-honoring decisions possible based firstly on biblical precepts but also on the best information we can find.

Wherever true religion is, there are vigorous exercises of the inclination and will towards divine objects…
Jonathan Edwards, Religious Affections

God slowly aligns our desires with His will. At the end of MacArthur’s book Found: God’s Will, after spending a short amount of ink describing five principles for the Christian in decision-making, the sixth is “Do whatever you want!”

“If the five elements of God’s will are operating in your life, who is running your wants? God is!” he said.

Pursue holiness, seek Jesus, slay sin, and you ARE in God’s will. He will align your desires with His plan. We can’t know His specific plan for our lives, unlike Peter whom Jesus told that martyrdom awaited. But we can know He is ordering our lives according to His plan which will bring Him the most glory.

So otherwise, just decide on that life change, marry that woman, accept that job, and so on. Joseph had no idea that being in the pit, sold as a slave, languishing in jail, and being Pharaoh’s right-hand man would yield saving of the Egyptians and surrounding nations, and the return of his family safe and sound. But Joseph did know who was ordaining Joseph’s steps day by day, and he knew God always has a bigger plan. In his case, he discovered after, it was to keep many people alive.

As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to do what has happened on this day, to keep many people alive. (Genesis 50:20).

Job never knew what the plan was or why the terrible things happened to him, but he still trusted God for the outcome. Despite his many tribulations, he never sinned against God with his mouth. After it was all over we know that God increased Job’s holdings again and gave him and Mrs. Job more children. Along the way, Job must have decided where to build his new house, and which cattle to breed, and so on. But God was ordaining it from above.

And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to His purpose. (Romans 8:28).

HE knows His purpose. We’re just called to do His will in the generalities. Leave the specifics to Him, decided for yourself what’s best, and rest easy. And keep on truckin’!