singleness

encouragement, marriage, singleness, unmarried, virgin

Joyful in Singleness part 4: Famous biblical unmarrieds

Posted on August 22, 2024 by elizabethprata

Joyful in singleness part 1
Joyful in singleness part 2
Joyful in Singleness part 3

Are you one of a partly hidden minority in the body of Christ who has felt led by the Lord to remain single and celibate for all your days? I’m not talking about unbiblical vows of celibacy like the false Roman Catholic Church forces on its priests and nuns. I’m wondering if you are one of the blessed recipients of what apostle Paul called a gift of singleness.

Though marriage is the norm for most people, and it is indeed an institution created by God, and it is a picture of our coming union with Christ, marriage is not given to everyone. Never mind that the average person on earth is single for a good portion of their lives. Americans now spend more years of their adult lives unmarried than married.

The trend toward spending more time single is not specific to the United States. Across 192 countries, people who, by age 30, had always been single, increased from 15% in the 1970s to 24% in the 1990s. The increase was greater for developed countries: In the 1990s, 38% of the women and 57% of the men reached the end of their 20s without ever marrying (World Fertility Report, 2003). Source: Single Women Fact Sheet

These demographics are reflected in the average church congregation. Yet ministry and interpersonal attitudes have not kept up, and some permanently single people feel marginalized or overlooked.

In part one I introduced these and other facts. In part 2 & 3 I looked at specific verses and passages that address marriage, singleness, celibacy, and eunuchs (old and modern-day). In this part I’ll look at the impact that single people have made for the kingdom. I’m not focusing on the status of temporarily single people who will marry at some point. I am looking at those people who are beneficiaries of the God-given gift of singleness, a status designed purposely by God for His glory through His use of these individuals. (1 Corinthians 7:6-7).

I admire married people with children who labor in the church. I can’t imagine their exhaustion, the time it takes to raise children, and still have time to study that Sunday School lesson he will be teaching, or her volunteer work in the nursery, or their ministry to the community hungry…and remain diligent in personal Bible study and family devotions. Phew! There seems not to be enough hours in the day. Jesus designed it so that a majority of people will at some point in their lives marry and most of these will likely have children. Their focus is naturally on their family lives. And naturally, their interests are divided. (1 Corinthians 7:33, 35).

We know of famous married couples in the Bible, Adam and Eve, Ruth and Boaz, Jezebel and Ahab, Abram and Sarai, Jacob and Rachel/Jacob and Leah, David and Michal/David and Bathsheba, Solomon and all his wives, Mary and Joseph, Zacharias and Elisabeth, Priscilla and Aquila, Ananias and Sapphira…In each case God ordained for the person a spouse and in each case their marriage as recorded in scripture became something the Lord used for His glory and our instruction.

However, remember, marriage is not an institution that will last forever. In his exposition of 1 Corinthians 7:25-40, S. Lewis Johnson said,

The central thought of the apostle is that celibacy is desirable; it’s not demanded. Why? … Well, from reading the passage here and from knowing the things that our Lord had said with which the apostle was familiar, evidently for him he thinks of marriage as a temporary covenant for the propagation of the human race. But the relation to the Lord is an eternal relation — relationship.

And so in the light of that, what he seems to be suggesting to us is that we, as believers, should remember that we are heading to an eternal destiny in the presence of the Lord. … He wants to focus our attention upon the fact that we are on our way to eternity. And this is temporary. And we are to spend ourselves during this temporary period of time in seeking the Lord and ministering as believers for him in the society of which we are apart. I gather that that’s what — that’s why Paul says the things that he says when he says, “Marriage is good. It’s alright to marry, but it’s better to give yourself holy to the Lord.” And now he is going to talk about why it is so.

The unmarried man or women does not have divided interests and can focus solely on pleasing the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:32, 34b). Let’s look at some people in the Bible who were specifically and notably single, devoting all time and energy to ministering to Him. First will be people from the Old and New Testaments we know were single, and then a list of others we can say might have been or were probably single.

Jeremiah

A prophet of the Lord and author of the book of Jeremiah and Lamentations, Jeremiah never married or had children.

The word of the Lord came to me: 2“You shall not take a wife, nor shall you have sons or daughters in this place. (Jeremiah 16:1-2)

The LORD said He was planning to still the voice of the bride and bridegroom, and plagues and hardship were going to come upon the land. Gill’s Commentary explains Jeremiah’s single status,

Thou shall not take thee a wife,…. Not because it was unlawful; for it was lawful for prophets to marry, and they did; but because it was not advisable, on account of the calamities and distresses which were coming upon the nation; which would be more bearable by him alone, than if he had a wife, which would increase his care, concern, and sorrow.

Apostle Paul alludes to the times also as a reason not to marry. (1 Corinthians 7:26). Sometimes God ordains singleness not to test a person in endurance or deny a person a pleasure, but to spare a person grief in coming calamity.

Anna

Here is a woman who lived in apostate times, the worst of times. Her generation had drifted fully from the Old Testament law and lived under the oppressive and false rule of Pharisaical law, as we know from the many admonitions and warnings Jesus gave to the Pharisees, and Paul’s initial terrorism against the early Christians. God had been silent 400 years, since the close of the Old Testament canon in Malachi in approximately 430BC. The last chapter of Malachi is short, but contains a warning about the Day of the LORD, a warning to follow the Law given to Moses, and this, the last words Israel heard said to them by God–

“Behold, I will send you Elijah the prophet before the great and awesome day of the Lord comes. And he will turn the hearts of fathers to their children and the hearts of children to their fathers, lest I come and strike the land with a decree of utter destruction.” (Malachi 4:5-6)

Malachi’s warning was not without cause. The Jewish people were mistreating their wives, marrying pagans and not tithing, and the priests were neglecting the temple and not teaching the people the ways of God. In short, the Jews were not honoring God. (Source)

Things only worsened as 400 years ground on. Yet there were a few that remained pure in heart and pleasing to the LORD. In approximately 27-29BC, Jesus was born and was presented at the Temple according to the Law. Anna was there.

And there was a prophetess, Anna the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was advanced in years and had lived with her husband seven years after her marriage, and then as a widow to the age of eighty-four. She never left the temple, serving night and day with fastings and prayers. At that very moment she came up and began giving thanks to God, and continued to speak of Him to all those who were looking for the redemption of Jerusalem. (Luke 2:36-38).

A widow can know what it is to face a long, lonely and cheerless life, and a solitude made more acute because of the remembrance of happier days. But it was not so with Anna. When as a young, motherless wife, God withdrew from her the earthly love she rejoiced in, she did not bury her hope in a grave. In the place of what God took, He gave her more of Himself, and she became devoted to Him who had promised to be as a Husband to the widow, and through her long widowhood was unwearying in devotion to Him. She “trusted in God,” and her hoary head was a crown of glory (Proverbs 16:31). Repose of soul was hers for eighty-five years because the one thing she desired was to have God’s house as her dwelling place all the days of her life. Source.

Paul

In 1 Corinthians 7:6 Paul declared he himself had the gift of celibacy, so we know that he was not at that time married. Had he ever been married? We don’t know for sure. At some point, if Paul had been married, his wife either had died or was not in the picture. Paul’s tremendous conversion showed that the redemption available in only Jesus Christ is not beyond even the “chief of sinners”, a murderer and terrorist of His people. (1 Timothy 1:15).

In his life lived and in the strength of Christ, Paul founded churches all over the region in his three missionary journeys, pastored them, discipled young men for the future labor in Christ, contended for the faith alongside many men and women, ‘redeemed’ a slave and reconciled him with his master, and wrote Romans, 1 and 2 Corinthians, Galatians, Philippians, 1 and 2 Thessalonians, Philemon, Ephesians, Colossians, 1 and 2 Timothy and Titus.

From conceited, legalistic terrorist, Paul became a humble, powerful witness for the glory of Christ.

Mary/Martha/Lazarus

This sibling trio were single. They were used mightily of Jesus. In His Incarnation He lodged with them, all three of whom He loved. (John 11:5). He used Lazarus to show the glory of God, Martha illustrated her “love and piety alike found adequate and satisfying expression at all times in the ordinary kindly offices of hospitality and domestic service” according to Lockyer, and Mary loved to sit at her Lord’s feet and absorb heavenly truths.

Philip’s four unmarried daughters

These women (Acts 21:8-9) prophesied.

Philip’s household included four virgin daughters who were prophetesses. That Luke describes them as virgins suggests that they may have been set aside by God for special ministry (cf. 1 Cor 7:34). Prophets, like apostles, were specially appointed by God in the church. They must be distinguished from individual believers with the gift of prophecy (1 Cor 12:10). They complemented the ministry of the apostles (Eph 4:11) by functioning exclusively within the body of a particular congregation, while the apostles had a broader ministry.

It has been recorded that early believers regarded these women as valuable sources of information on the early history of the church. The historian Eusebius notes that the church Father Papias received information from them (Ecclesiastical History III.XXXIX, p. 126). Perhaps Luke used them as a source of information in writing his gospel and Acts. He would have had many opportunities to talk with them, not only during this visit but also during Paul’s two-year imprisonment at Caesaria (Acts 24:27). (Source: MacArthur Commentary on Acts).

The 144,000

Revelation 7:1-8 and Revelation 14:1-5 records that the Lord reserves 144,000 virgins and will supernaturally seal them from harm during the judgments of the Tribulation, in order to use them for His glory. They will evangelize the world during the Tribulation. Multitudes and myriad come to faith in Jesus Christ during this time, thanks to the supernatural energizing of these unmarried singles.

We, in the Christian church, perhaps in our day are not giving proper credit to those who, by the grace of God, have given themselves to a celibate or single life. The unmarried woman, for example, and the unmarried man who have given themselves to service for the Lord and have eschewed marriage; we should give them credit for what they have done. ~S. Lewis Johnson, Marriage Counsel III

Lydia

This woman ran a profitable business and had a home large enough to accommodate the entire missionary team. (Acts 16:14, 15, Acts 16:40). No husband is mentioned in association with ‘Lydia’s business’ and ‘Lydia’s household’ so it was likely she was single via widowhood. She provided a safe haven for Paul and his mission team time and again, in loving hospitality so they could rest and recover. Her home is where Paul and Silas went after being released from prison, and it was there the brethren received solace and encouragement. Baumgarten says,

“This assembly of believers in the house of Lydia was the first church that had been founded in Europe”.

Of Marriage and singleness in general, S. Lewis Johnson remarked,

I never quite understand why married people who have the comforts of home often speak in a disparaging and unkind way of unmarried people. It should be that if marriage is so delightful, that married people would speak in a very tenderness and — tender and sympathetic way of people who have not married. But instead of that, they speak sometimes in such a contentious way. I never like to hear people say, “Oh she’s just an old maid’ or “he is just an old bachelor.” Wait a minute! He whom you so designate may be glorifying the Lord in a way he could not have done if he were the head of a household and she of whom you speak, may be one who is rendering wonderful service to God and humanity. I repeat, some of most devoted Christians I have ever know have been unmarried men and women who gave themselves holy to the work of the Lord Jesus Christ. All honor to them. I agree with that. ~S. Lewis Johnson, Marriage Counsel III

In modern times we can point to many people who chose to remain unmarried for the sake of the kingdom, like Pastor John Stott, for example, who was single all 90 years of his life and served the Lord actively as pastor for 65 of them. Some chose to stay unmarried after the death of a spouse, Rachel Saint, for example. MacArthur says of Mrs Saint,

Rachel Saint served as a single missionary among the Auca Indians of Ecuador for many years without companionship. She poured out her life and her love to the indians and found great blessing and fulfillment. (source)

S. Lewis Johnson said of single missionaries,

Many of the missionaries who have gone out from the shores of the United States have been women missionaries who’ve gone out, spent their lives in heathen lands and the jungles, and in the countries where things are not nearly so nice as the United States of America, and have been responsible for many, many people having an opportunity to hear the Gospel of the Lord Jesus Christ. I’ve known of some who have gone to Mexico, translated the language of tribes themselves and then written the Bible for them, so to speak, translated it, and made it possible for people to have the Bible in their own language. What a marvelous ministry. And when you remember that we are here just a short time and eternity is fairly long, you can see what a marvelous choice has been made by some people to not be entangled in marriage.

Whether God has destined a mate for you, or has consecrated you to Himself as an unmarried/single earlier than eternity, His glory always shines through His people when we submit all to Him. Whether married or unmarried, single temporarily or permanently, we are His children, loved perfectly and endowed with His Spirit to do His work. We have all been gifted, and when we look upon each other, we should not see married or single, at odds in misunderstanding or apprehension, but equally gifted individuals co-laboring for Christ’s name and His glory.

theology

Joyful in Singleness; A Single Person’s value- part 3

Posted on August 21, 2024 by elizabethprata

By Elizabeth Prata

Joy in Singleness part 1
Joy in Singleness part 2

The past 2 entries in this 4-part series have discussed both the current Christian milieu of how people seem to view singles in church, and looks at what the Bible says about marriage vs singleness.

Today let’s finish a discussion on how the church views singles before moving tomorrow to famous biblical singles.

It’s often other believers who seem discontent for the content single, a concern that deepens the more the contented single asserts his or her state of unmarried peace. Jesus spoke acceptance of singleness in Matthew 19:12.

For there are eunuchs who have been so from birth, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.

Here, Jesus classifies the 3 kinds of single/celibate persons. There is the one who was born with congenital deformities or other diseases which make marital relations impossible and conceiving children nonviable. Others have been made that way by men. In the Bible times, men were purposely castrated if they were destined to work in a harem, for instance, or as a court administrator, as we read in 2 Kings 20:18, Esther 2:3, or Acts 8:27. The Lord’s care for those who were born or made eunuchs was stated in Isaiah 56:3b-5, where God welcomes all believers, without distinction of persons, under the new economy of salvation-

and let not the eunuch say, “Behold, I am a dry tree.” For thus says the Lord: “To the eunuchs who keep my Sabbaths, who choose the things that please me and hold fast my covenant, I will give in my house and within my walls a monument and a name better than sons and daughters; I will give them an everlasting name that shall not be cut off.

dry tree—barren (compare Lu 23:31); not admissible into the congregation of Israel (De 23:1–3). Under the Gospel the eunuch and stranger should be released from religious and civil disabilities. (Source: Jamieson, Fausset, Brown, Commentary)

How comforting God is when announcing that those who are not by their own choice unmarried, childless, celibate eunuchs will be given a monument and a name. Their marital and family status were a lament to them but they still sought God’s glory and chose the things that pleased Him. What comfort and care He gives to the person who is made eunuch through no act of their own. What a Godly example given to show that no matter what the physical state of a person or their marital status, one can and should seek the things that please the LORD.

Singleness is not my identity. I don’t want to be separated from the Body of Christ based on my marital status.” SourceThe New Testament verse in Matthew 19:12, Jesus said there was a third kind of eunuch, “and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. Let the one who is able to receive this receive it.“

What kind of single/celibate person is this? MacArthur explains in his commentary,

Unlike the other two forms, this one is not physical…Jesus is speaking of voluntary celibacy of those to whom the gift has been granted by God (v. 11). In that case, celibacy should be used for the sake of the kingdom of God and be pleasing to Him and used by Him. Paul had the gift of celibacy and strongly exhorted others who had the gift to be content with it and use its obvious advantages for Gods glory. (1 Corinthians 7:32-34).

You may have noticed I shifted from discussing divinely given permanent singleness to the topic of celibacy. That is because the two are entwined. One cannot be without the other. If you are single, you are to be celibate. Outside of marriage, celibacy is a mandate from God. We are NOT to be fornicators. (1 Corinthians 6:9, Hebrews 13:4, 1 Corinthians 5:9, 1 Timothy 1:10, 1 Corinthians 5:10, Revelation 21:8). Whether young or old, virgin or widowed or divorced, we are to be chaste. (1 Timothy 2:2, 1 Timothy 5:2, 1 Timothy 4:12, Galatians 5:23, 2 Corinthians 6:6

God provides. God sustains. If He gives to some the gift of singleness, would He not also provide the strength to refrain from lust and remain chaste for His name? MacArthur’s commentary again,

Although celibacy us good for Christians who are not married, it is a gift from God that is not given to every believer. Just as it is wrong to misuse a gift we have, it is wrong to try to use a gift we do not have. For a person who does not have the gift of celibacy, trying to practice it brings moral and spiritual frustration. But for those who have it as God’s gift, singleness, like all His gifts, brings great blessing.

Both Jesus and Paul make it clear that the celibate life is not required by God for all believers and that it can be satisfactorily lived only by those to whom God has given it.

Married brethren are rearing children for His name and leading and teaching us, so their kingdom work is equally valuable as mine or anybody else’s! We are a body, each formed uniquely as a snowflake, spiritually given gifts in unique hues to benefit each other and most importantly, Jesus, and this gift also includes the fewer who are gifted to remain single for His name.

God’s care for the celibate, permanent single is obvious from scripture. Singles of any kind are not second class citizens, nor are they in a waiting room for marriage (read: maturity and acceptance). Jesus does not look at us that way and nor should the church. Celebrate His diversity in installing people in the Body from all demographics to labor for His good and glory.

celibacy, encouragement, glennon doyle melton, paul, singleness

Joy in Singleness, part 2: Gifted to live singly for Jesus

Posted on August 20, 2024 by elizabethprata

Joy in Singleness part 1

While some singles *are* waiting impatiently for God to change their circumstance, other singles are not walking in a fog of depression but joyfully serve from His gift.

Singleness in the church today. Singleness in the Body Christ is for His glory. Though there is a rightly heavy focus on married couples in preaching, ministering, and fellowship life, there are single people in the church. We know this by the data the Census and the Christian church demographics. Yet as the number of singles in the church increases, churches are grappling with how to effectively minister to this demographic of the family of Christ.

Many single people report that they feel left out, overlooked, or worse, are treated as second-class citizens in church life.

This is part two of a series on being single in today’s Christian church. I’d said in part one that we can drill down even further into examining what the Bible has to say about being single. In my view, there are two branches of singles. Some people are single because they are going through a life phase in God’s timing where marriage hasn’t happened for them yet, or they were married and are now widows or widowers, perhaps to marry again. I’m not discussing these singles, these precious folks who trust that God will provide a mate for them.

The other type of single today are men and women Jesus calls and ordains as single permanently. It’s the divinely ordained singles I’ll discuss. These are modern-day ‘eunuchs’, as Matthew 19:12 illustrates. The Bible directly teaches the gift of singleness, the status whereupon Jesus is forming people for His glory who will never marry, or if they were married, will never marry again. Rarely does preaching, ministry, or church fellowship reflect this biblical reality.

In this part I’ll look at what the scriptures have to say generally about singleness. In part 3 I’ll look at specifically named single individuals in the Bible and their work for the glory of Jesus.

In dividing singles into the two branches, the temporarily single as a phase of life and the sovereignly, ordained single as a permanent status, it allows churches to edify each by uniquely focusing on their special gift or need. Teaching about the gift of singleness also honors the Word of God as we preach or teach about this segment of our family demographic from scripture. The Bible specifically addresses the ordained single- but these verses seem to be invisible in today’s preaching and as a result, these folks are often invisible also.

But this demographic certainly was not invisible in the Bible! Yet with article titles like these,
–Why So Many Singles?
–Surviving Church as a Single
–Are Singles the Lepers of Today?

Is it any wonder many permanent singles wonder where and how to minister to the Body and honor Jesus in church?

Julia Stager at Randy Alcorn’s Eternal Perspective Ministries wrote,

I’ve always felt encouraged by how singleness is addressed from the pulpit. I hear how, being single, I have the opportunity to love and serve God in a way that’s undivided and different from how I can do it when I’m married. But things get a little more challenging in the foyer. It’s there I hear things like, “So, have you started dating anyone?” Or, “Whatever happened with you and that guy?” Or, “You’re so great. I can’t believe you’re not married!” These questions, though well-meaning, can come across as invalidating my singleness or as insinuating that the only goal of singleness is to end it.

The entire chapter of 1 Corinthians 7 focuses on marriage, singleness, lust, celibacy, and the duties of each person whether married at the time or not. Above all, one should understand that some people today in the body of Christ have been gifted with singleness. God has given a gift to the person and by extension to His Son’s Body.

Acknowledging this is paramount, an important step in puncturing church conceptions about permanent singles. Not to say some singles are better than anyone else, but simply to say that their lifestyle has been given them by Holy God and that ministering through this gift will bring blessing to His body of believers that seems uncommon today.

The great preacher John Stott was single for 90 years. His period in office was 1945–2010. He was interviewed specifically about singleness, in this article appearing just after his death in 2011.

We must never exalt singleness (as some early church fathers did, notably Tertullian) as if it were a higher and holier vocation than marriage. We must reject the ascetic tradition which disparages sex as legalized lust, and marriage as legalized fornication. No, no. Sex is the good gift of a good Creator, and marriage is his own institution.

If marriage is good, singleness is also good. It’s an example of the balance of Scripture that, although Genesis 2:18 indicates that it is good to marry, 1 Corinthians 7:1 (in answer to a question posed by the Corinthians) says that “it is good for a man not to marry.” So both the married and the single states are “good”; neither is in itself better or worse than the other.

We know marriage is a gift from God. In 1 Corinthians 7:6-7, Paul specifically addresses singleness as a gift for some.

Now as a concession, not a command, I say this. I wish that all were as I myself am. But each has his own gift from God, one of one kind and one of another.

John MacArthur said in his commentary on 1 Corinthians 7:6-7,

His comments were not meant as a command for every believer to be married. Marriage was instituted by God and is the norm for man-woman relationships, and it is a great blessing to mankind. But it is not required for believers or anyone else. His point was, if you are single, that is good, if you are married or get married, stay married and retain normal marital relations for that is of God. Spirituality is not determined by marital status.

This biblical truth is countered and overshadowed by “Christian” writers who unfortunately have much influence, especially over young women. Mommy bloggers like eventual apostate Glennon Melton who claim to be a ‘truth teller and hope spreader’ wrote in her oddly titled “Ways to Secure your Happyish Ever After“,

“Marriage is still the best chance we have to become evolved, loving people.”

Of course it is not true, as we see in the scripture above. Sadly, Melton’s insinuation is not uncommon, that if one is not married, one cannot become “evolved” or be loving in he same way the lucky marrieds can. Yet it is the Spirit Who grows us (if that is what is meant by ‘evolved’). Further, it is the Spirit Who delivers the spiritual fruit of love. (Ephesians 5:9, Galatians 5:22). Marriage is a God-given institution but it is not the marriage itself that grows a Christian into maturity. MacArthur commentary continues,

The attitude among Christians today about singleness, however, is often like that of the Jewish tradition in Paul’s day. It is looked upon as a second class condition. “Not so,” says the apostle. If singleness is God’s gift to a person, it is God’s will for that person to accept and exercise the gift. If that person is submissive to God, he can live in singleness all his life in perfect contentment and happiness.

Part 3 tomorrow

Joy in Singleness part 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Further Reading

Though this article still makes the assumption that all singles are going to be married, I can forgive it because many singles ARE going to be married. However for the permanent single, there is good advice for you here too—
Desiring God: Single, Satisfied, and Sent: Mission for the Not-Yet Married

Christianity Today: John Stott on Singleness

Biblical Christian Counseling Coalition: Single in the Church

GotQuestions: Does the Bible teach that there is a gift of celibacy/singleness?

Singled Out: Does the Church Ignore Singles?

Let Me Be Single

Life does not begin at marriage. Life begins in the exact moment when we submit ourselves to Christ and make Him Lord, when the Holy Spirit comes to dwell within us and take residence within us.

church life, marriage, ministry, single ladies, singleness

Joy in singleness, though you’d never know it by Christian social media or church life. Part 1

Posted on August 16, 2024 by elizabethprata

I read through 1 Corinthians. In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul outlines responsibilities of life to marrieds & singles, and mentioning young men, virgins, and widows. It is a great chapter. Paul is specific, loving, and clear, focusing on marriage, lust, and conjugal duty.

Marriage is God’s foundation block of society, procreation is strongly urged, (Genesis 1:28, Genesis 9:7, Psalm 128:3, Proverbs 31:27), and divorce is considered a violent act, (Luke 16:18; 1 Corinthians 7:15; Matthew 5:32; Matthew 19:6,8; Genesis 2:24). As a matter of fact, unauthorized divorce prohibits men from serving in leadership capacity, (1 Timothy 3:2) so it is no wonder that churches spend a good deal of time preaching to and discipling marrieds. There are many marriage retreats, books, Sunday School curricula, and sermons given over to the subject. This is a good thing.

Marriage, the Bible tells us from the beginning of the Book of Genesis, is a divine institution. That is, it is something established by God. It is a covenant that is given by God and for that reason it is traceable to him. It has also been consecrated by him, for he has blessed the marriage relationship. And, of course, it’s the means of the preservation of the human race. ~S. Lewis Johnson, Marriage Counsel, part 1

However oftentimes so much attention is given to married couples and their issues, that an overly myopic focus descends upon any given church that leaves the other half of the population out. There are young unmarried men and women, honorably divorced folks, and widows and widowers. Because of the excessive focus on marriage and married Christians’ concerns, one would be led to believe the entire church was composed of couples. But it is not so.

Census data from 1970 show that 70 percent of American households contained a married couple. The 2006 report from the Census Bureau disclosed that fewer than half of American households are now maintained by married couples. Eye on Unmarried America

In this series I’ll focus on singleness, its joys, benefits, church life, and ministry and civic opportunities. There are several kinds of singles: singles who are frustrated in the waiting for what they know will be God’s gift of marriage to them, or who have had that gift and are now widows or widowers and are grieving the loss. Some in today’s world are simply single because the Lord has not given them a spouse yet. Maybe He will in time, or maybe a person is destined for permanently single life. Some singles yearn for a spouse.

Those aren’t the singles I am discussing. For some of these singles, they are content with the life God has set before them. I’ll address the fact that even if some singles are acknowledged and gasp! ministered to, not all singles are in a waiting room for marriage. Some, like me, know they will be single forever, and are happy with that gift. Yes, gift. Rarely is the gift of singleness discussed in the church, or even preached about, looked upon as an enhancement to the Body, let alone acknowledged as a normal segment of the family He is creating.

Churches are so committed to the idea of a family-centered church that they’re just not sure how to handle rising rates of singleness. “Are Single People the Lepers of Today?“

Further, I’ll reject the subtle cloud that usually attaches to a discussion of singles: depression, sadness, longing. There are singles out there whom God has granted a life of joy and fulfillment, with nary a search for the soulmate in sight, but only having eyes for the Groom.

missionaries, theology

Lottie Moon- Famous Single Woman Missionary, or Proto-Feminist?

Posted on June 18, 2024June 20, 2024 by elizabethprata

By Elizabeth Prata

God does a powerful and magnificent thing by raising up missionaries. He not only regenerates hearts but He establishes some to go to the hard places, live a hard life, and some even to die for His name. The selfish will of the natural man would never do that. The self-sacrificing heart of a regenerated Christian, would.

I think of many woman missionaries who lived and died for His Gospel. One of my favorites is Gladys Aylward, missionary to China. We remember the female missionaries of the 1800s and early 1900s who first went places, like Lottie Moon, Amy Carmichael, Annie Jenkins Sallee, Mary Slessor, and Isabel Crawford… among many others.

This week and last week I’ve presented essays about a few of these female missionaries, including Elisabeth Elliot, Amy Carmichael, and Gladys Aylward. These are ladies who seem to have done “missionary” right.

There are some women who have not behaved well on the mission field, or whose motives for going became obvious via their words or their letters.

We might be inclined to even think of them like super-Christians, given extra strength or morality or character, or who were extra spiritual. LOL, they were simply women, with the same sins, tendencies, and foibles as the rest of us.

In fact, you might be surprised to find that some female missionaries may have possessed extra doses of foibles and struggles as they considered the mission field. Some of them may have mixed their motives for going, struggling with the exact same issues we do today- feminism and being conflicted about prescribed gender roles.

After William Carey, missionary to India and considered the Father of Modern Missions, died in 1834, a fervor arose among the faithful. He had founded the Baptist Missionary Society, spent 41 years in India (without a furlough) and raised consciousness among Christians of the need for bringing the Gospel to the nations. Missions exploded.

In addition to the missions movement powerfully springing up in the mid 1800s, in which many Christians desired to go, another powerful movement sprang up too- First Wave Feminism. (1848-1920). Whereas previously, the only credible careers available to women were teaching or nursing, now, many women found that a missionary life afforded them a chance at a fulfilling career and even leadership opportunities on the foreign field that would not have happened back home. The Civil War had helped with that, either with women handling the homestead or the business while the men were gone, or serving in the army itself as doctors. Once bitten by the independence bug, many women found that missions offered similar opportunity to lead an independent life free from most of the societal restrictions that squelched their more forward ambitions.

In 1834, New York businessman’s wife, Sarah Doremus, heard a sermon about the need for women on the field in China, in order to reach Chinese women. She tried to get an organization going, but it went nowhere. By the time of the Civil War in 1861, there was less opposition to females singly joining men on the foreign mission field. Doremus’ organization was finally founded in 1861 with success: the Women’s Union Missionary Society (WUMS). It proposed to send out only single women, and indeed it became the first American organization to send single women to the foreign mission field. Early results were sending two medical missionaries, Dr. Sara Seward and Dr. Mary Seelye to India, who in 1871 established a children’s hospital in Calcutta.

Let’s look at one of the famous missions ladies.

Charlotte ‘Lottie’ Moon (1840-1912) Missionary to China.

One of the earliest and easily the most famous single female missionary, Lottie Moon, seems to have been a relentless advocate for expanded women’s roles, a proto-feminist.

Lottie was indifferent to the Baptist religion of her parents until age 18, when she experienced an awakening during a series of revivals. She then attended Virginia Female Seminary and Albemarle Female Institute in Charlottesville, Virginia graduating in 1861 with the first master of arts degrees awarded to a woman by a southern institution.

Lottie taught at home for a while, but then responded to a call from her sister Edmonia in 1871 who had already been approved for the China mission field and had been there a year. Lottie’s other sister Orianna had previously served in the Confederate Army as a Doctor in the US Civil War.

Foreign missions often encountered an issue of gender. In many nations, only women could reach women. Men counseling or giving the Gospel or interacting in general with women presented a scandalous problem. The teaching career having palled for Lottie, she responded to her sister’s call and went to China to “go out among the millions” as an evangelist. Instead she wound up in the same work-situation as she had been back home, teaching what she termed as “unstudious children” in China and feeling like an oppressed class of single women missionaries. She complained about this. A lot.

In an article titled “The Woman’s Question Again,” published in 1883, Lottie wrote:

Can we wonder at the mortal weariness and disgust, the sense of wasted powers and the conviction that her life is a failure, that comes over a woman when, instead of the ever broadening activities that she had planned, she finds herself tied down to the petty work of teaching a few girls?

Lottie had planned it all out, did she?

I know, O LORD, that a man’s way is not his own; no one who walks directs his own steps. (Jeremiah 10:23)

It is sad how Lottie viewed women missionaries teaching children on the mission field. It was “petty work” to her.

Lottie Moon was in fact ardent activist for women’s rights and a tireless supporter for an expanded sphere for women’s evangelistic work, despite what the Bible said women’s roles are to be. Her specific directive from the SBC Missions Board was to teach women, not to plant churches, evangelize, or teach men. Rebelling, Lottie did all three, loudly. She decided that to make a lasting impact she had to reach the men of the community. So she incited curiosity in showy ways, so that the curious men would attend her teaching meeting, and Lottie ‘innocently’ said that she was just mainly preaching to women but would not send the men away if they chose to come. That attitude was similar to Beth Moore’s stance a hundred years later,

Being a woman called to leadership within and simultaneously beyond those walls [of an SBC church] was complicated to say the least but I worked within the system. After all, I had no personal aspirations to preach nor was it my aim to teach men. If men showed up in my class, I did not throw them out. I taught. ~Beth Moore

Lottie wrote,

“Simple justice demands that women should have equal rights with men in mission meetings and in the conduct of their work.”

Lottie did receive criticism from both men and women for her opinions, one of which included women entering the missions field in order to do the “largest possible work,” but other women abhorred Lottie’s “disorderly walk” and one Mrs. Arthur Smith called for her to stop her “lawless prancing all over the mission lot.” Lottie didn’t.

Lottie: “What women want who come to China is free opportunity to do the largest possible work…. What women have a right to demand is perfect equality.” Mission Frontiers

She found it easier to advance her expanded view of female missionary work on the foreign field. When no men were available to preach, she did. Around 1885 Lottie decided on her own without permission from the home Board, to move to China’s interior, P’ingtu. Her heart was burdened for the many who were ‘groping ignorantly for God,’ and where incidentally there was also less Board oversight.

By 1886, Lottie had completely abandoned the “woman’s work for women” policy that had she had agreed to in order to receive her appointment as a Southern Baptist missionary to China. Her move to P’ingtu accomplished, she had no male protection, no male supervision, and evangelized as she saw fit, experimenting with various methods.

And of her Field Director’s attempts to redirect her efforts toward the call to which she agreed, teaching, she wrote-

“[His plans] would make him, through the Board, dictator not only for life but after he had passed from earthly existence. If that be freedom, give me slavery.”

Forgoing biblical submission, she threatened resignation. Lottie Moon was an egalitarian who did much to erode the SBC’s stance on complementarian roles for men and women. Her rebelliousness resonates to this day.

Lottie remained unmarried to her death. As regards her death, the common story is that Lottie gave away all her money and gave her food to starving Chinese during a famine, dying a board a ship at Kobe Harbor weighing 50 pounds. Other documents indicate Moon suffered from an infection located behind her ear, which the missions doctor theorized had invaded her spinal column and caused dementia. Part of Moon’s end-of-days dementia included fixations on lack of money and refusal to eat.

While some see Lottie Moon as a lover of the Gospel and a lover of souls, she was certainly a rebellious and relentless campaigner for ‘women’s rights’ within the SBC, spending many years fighting the SBC (once safely out on the field), rights that went far outside the bounds of biblical roles.

There were others also who wrestled with the biblical roles for women and found ‘independence’ and ‘freedom’ on the mission field, such as Mary Slessor (L)(Nigeria) and Annie Jenkins Sallee (R). (China).

As the missionary fever caught on the earnest people went out, many at risk to their lives or at the least, knowing they would never see near family again. There were others who were more led by personal passions than the glory of God. Some women went forth using Jesus as a vehicle to satisfy their aspirations, with a secondary consideration for His glory. No doubt many of these ladies did good. They healed, adjudicated, salved, built…but when unholy motivations factor in, the entire endeavor becomes tainted.

We praise God for the women and men missionaries who served well. As for the others, we leave it to Jesus to sort them out.

theology

The Proverbs 31 woman is held as an example of married woman, but what if you’re not married?

Posted on January 6, 2023January 6, 2023 by elizabethprata

By Elizabeth Prata

The Proverbs woman is often held up as THE example of a worthy woman. Indeed, the NASB calls her that as it launches into the description from verse 10-31:

“Description of a Worthy Woman”.

This woman is tireless in her pursuit of the good of her husband and the well-being of her family. The description of her activities seems almost unattainable, but for the fact that we have the Spirit’s wings to spur wives and moms onward.

But what if you’re not a married woman? Whose example do we follow? The Bible does not feature many single women. Lydia was perhaps single. She ran a business (purple dyeing) and had a large house with servants, but a husband is not mentioned. Maybe she was a widow. But we can’t know for sure. Susannah followed Jesus, she gave out of her own purse, so she had freedom to roam with itinerant Jesus and her own money. A husband is not mentioned, but we can’t be sure. Ruth & Naomi…but Naomi was bitter and Ruth remarried…

A lot of ink is spent on featuring married women, most with children. But where are the singles? There’s the unmarried Mary and Martha, living with their brother Lazarus. We see the two sides of a coin in devoted and spiritual Mary and the tireless busy-ness of hostess Martha. Perhaps combined they would be a good biblical role model.

So, who?

If single women want to see a biblical role model of a single woman, we do have Anna.

Luke 2:36-38 offers us a brief biography of this woman. Her bio is sandwiched between other glimpses of the nativity story. She doesn’t receive as many verses as the Proverbs 31 wife, just three, but her life was one well worth studying nonetheless.

And there was a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was advanced in years and had lived with her husband for seven years after her marriage, and then as a widow to the age of eighty-four. She did not leave the temple grounds, serving night and day with fasts and prayers. 38And at that very moment she came up and began giving thanks to God, and continued to speak about Him to all those who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.

In those verses we learn her father’s name and her tribe (Asher was a ‘lost tribe’). Anna married young and was married for a short time before she became a widow.

Because the Jewish culture emphasized marriage and procreation, and because women were a vulnerable demographic, widows (especially young ones) usually remarried. Anna didn’t. We do not know why. Perhaps her husband had been a man of means and she was financially secure. Perhaps she had loved him so much she felt it would be a betrayal to remarry, it just wasn’t in her heart. We don’t know.

Anna likely married at around age 15. When we pick up her life story she is nearly a hundred. We do know she remained unmarried. So for about 6 decades, she lived in or near the Temple and did not leave it night or day. Some believe that sh was given a small apartment or ‘cell’ to live in inside the Temple. They had some there-

Pulpit Commentary: Which departed not from the temple, but served God with fastings and prayers night and day. Probably, in virtue of her reputation as a prophetess, some small chamber in the temple was assigned to her. This seems to have been the case with Huldah (2 Chronicles 34:22).

What was she doing all that time? She served in the temple night and day. Anna was prayerful. She was thankful. She was focused on the coming Savior. She “prophesied,” which could mean she foretold future events, but that is less likely than the other meaning of prophesied, which is simply proclaiming the divine message.

Anna’s focus was proclaiming the Savior’s coming. It was the top item in her mind, the focus of her prophesying, it’s what she said and taught and prayed. Using her example, women who are single could focus on His coming, incarnation, and/or return. Think of how much more we New Testament believers know than Anna did! Yet Anna found enough treasure in the scriptures available to her to prophesy constantly.

Did Paul have Anna in mind when he sent this letter to Timothy?

3Honor widows who are widows indeed,… 5 Now she who is a widow indeed and who has been left alone, has fixed her hope on God and continues in petitions and prayers night and day. (1 Timothy 5:3,5).

Widows remarrying is perfectly fine, but some choose to remain in the state of widowhood, and as such, what do they do with their time, since it is not devoted to family? Being single as an unmarried or being single through widowhood “is good”. It is not second class. Anna devoted her time to God’s family. Paul wrote,

But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. (1 Corinthians 7:8).

He also said that undistracted devotion to the Lord is possible and desirable if one is single or a widow.

But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord. 33But one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34and his interests have been divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit. But one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35Now this I say for your own benefit, not to put a restraint upon you, but [†]to promote propriety and undistracted devotion to the Lord. (1 Corinthians 7:32-35).

Anna certainly is an example of a woman who fulfilled Paul’s exhortation. She is also not only an example to the single women, but aged women, as well. A person is never too old to serve the Lord in some way. There really is no retirement from ministry. Ministry service to our Savior may shift as life circumstances change, but not service itself. Romans 12:1 says–

Therefore I exhort you, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a sacrifice—living, holy, and pleasing to God, which is your spiritual service of worship.

Anna is an example of a single woman in service to the Lord. She is an example of an aged woman in service to the Lord. She also an example of a remnant in service to the Lord. The days just prior to the Lord’s coming were days of apostasy. Real faith was rare. The religious leaders (Pharisees, Sadducees, Scribes) were hyper-authoritarian Scripture twisters. True faith was rare to find.

These days we are living in can be called days of apostasy. Not The Great Apostasy prophesied to come, perhaps, but these are days where real shepherds, real faithful, real churches are hard to find. Revelation was written a mere 60 years after Jesus’ ascension, and we read in those days that of the 7 churches of Asia, only 2 received compliments and no criticisms. That’s only 28%. What do we think the percentage of wayward churches would be 2000 years after ascension? It’s been a downward slide, with a few upticks, then more down again, this whole period.

Therefore single women can and should be an Anna-type remnant. Devoting time and energy to service in the Lord. We can have a prayer closet. We can teach the younger as Titus 2 says. We can write letters of encouragement. We can keep a blog. We can cook meals for busy mothers. We can do whatever the Lord presses onto our heart, and do it “night and day”.

As with the Proverbs 31 wife, an Anna-like life may seem unattainable…impossible. But, well, Anna did it. We don’t have to literally live and breathe Jesus, but we kind of do. Let’s just say that with the Proverbs 31 wife, her main orientation of life and all her activities are focused around her family. She had a deep focus and a laser-like goal. The single woman can structure her life around her church family and with a laser-like goal, she can (and should) devote herself to service.

One caution. Martha. We can become SO busy that we overlook Jesus in our midst. We can be about the Father’s business so hard that we lose focus of the Father.

If you are single, think of ways that you can fill more time in your days with acceptable service to Jesus. He is worth it!

Theology Gals: Encouragement for Singles

Posted on June 18, 2019 by elizabethprata

By Elizabeth Prata

I don’t “struggle with singleness.” There are lots of things I do struggle with, but living single isn’t one of them.

My parents’ marriage was not the best, and other marriages I’d observed weren’t glowing with love and gentleness either. Divorce was rampant in my growing up years. The US was changing from strict divorce laws to less restrictive, or no-fault.

I was saved at age 43 so that meant for a long time I was a heathen, living for myself. I had an idol, and that was marriage. I wanted to be married, to be a wife. The guy the idol of marriage came with didn’t matter so much as me longing to be in the state of marriage. I felt marriage was important, offered security, and I wanted to be somebody’s number one. Not being saved, I had no clue about the state of marriage being a picture of Jesus with His Bride. I got married. But the Lord showed me the error of my thinking. Painfully.

But in my 20s when I so badly wanted to “be married” I remember the yearning, the wondering, the silence of the empty house, the aching of time passing. I know that being single is an issue that many women deal with. In order to learn more, I listened to Theology Gals’ podcast on the subject. Angela Whitehorn, Coleen Sharp, and Ashley Glassick are co-hosts. The blurb for the podcast states,

Theology Gals is a podcast by women on Reformed theology. The podcast addresses a variety of topics on the study of God’s Word, sound theology and the Christian life.

The co-hosts talked with their friend Jean Keeley about singleness. Jean offers encouragement to other singles through sharing of her journey and also scripture. The hosts also discussed singles and the Church.

What I appreciated about the interview was that when one of the co-hosts asked a question, they allowed the interviewee to answer at length, without interruption, diversion, or laughing/joking/giggling (as so many podcasters are wont to do). I learn more when I can listen to a reply unbroken and with no rabbit trails or personal anecdotes from the hosts.

In this interview Jean Keeley made some insightful statements about her reconciliation with being single. She said she has remained in her church for decades, the first one she joined. From that vantage point, she said she remembers when her church was small with few members. There were one or two women who were older (to her at that time older was mid-thirties) who weren’t married. She thought to herself, “That won’t be me. I’ll find somebody.” Then suddenly she was in her late 40s and still not married and thought, “Gee, that IS me!” It was then she had a long struggle with her status as a single woman. She said whether you’re a woman in your 20s and seeing all your friends get married, or you’re as she was, awakening one day to find you’re on the shadow side of the hill and still not hitched, I found her thoughts and journey for both/all demographics to be helpful.

The quote I remember best from the interview was,

“Ladies, this isn’t God’s Plan B for your life. This is God’s best for you.”

Jean Keeley described how she came to the Lord, which was an encouraging portion of the podcast. Then Keeley revealed some aspects she delights in with the single life and some things that for her aren’t so delightful. She discusses the difference between aloneness and loneliness. She offers practical advice on resting on God’s word in these matters. The hosts and Kelley discussed the verse from 1 Corinthians 7:34 and how it applies to each of them in the different states in which God has provided for them, married and single.

The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband.

The conversation progressed with grace, in grace, with neither status -married or single- being elevated nor disparaged.

For me, my singleness forces me to trust wholly in Jesus, and to lean totally on Him. He knows best. The remnants of making my husband the savior are still roaming around in me, I suppose, as well as the distraction of serving husband and abandoning my Lord is still likely being a risk. The Lord does know best for each one of us. I enjoy being in a narrow chute, like a horse with blinders, having to look only to Jesus. When struggles come, and they do- I was in one just yesterday- I pray to Him, read about Him, and look only to Him, and that in the end is sweet to me.

If this topic interests you, Ladies, for whatever reason, I commend the podcast. I hope you enjoy it as I did.

Encouragement for Singles

rings