self

By Elizabeth Prata

We are told to love the Lord with all our heart, mind, strength and soul. We are told to serve with gusto, and not just when the boss is around, but all the time. We are told to die to self.

But how do we balance serving and dying to self, and avoiding burnout so we can keep serving? I mean, should we even avoid burnout? We must serve with excellence, but does that mean serve to the point of exhaustion, even death? Paul did. Charles Spurgeon did. Paul even said he is poured out like a drink offering, signaling his willingness to serve to the death of a martyr, Philippians 2:17, 2 Timothy 4:6.

Christian self-sacrifice does not mean burnout, nor does it require a continuous state of emotional, physical, or spiritual depletion. At most times, busy-ness does not even mean efficiency, productivity, or effectiveness. Exhaustion is NOT next to godliness.

It’s true that Christian love is sacrificial and modeled on Christ’s self-giving, but the Bible does not equate self-sacrifice with self-obliteration or a state of exhaustion that makes you unable to continue serving. Your energy levels are finite. Even Jesus’s was, He removed Himself frequently to pray or rest. He was tired in Samaria and sat down by the well to rest. (John 4:6). He enjoyed fellowship and dinners with Mary/Martha/Lazarus, or Zacchaeus, or Matthew (Levi), or the wedding at Cana. Everything He did was intentional but some of those times it was for fellowship or to simply celebrate (like Levi’s banquet to celebrate his conversion).

We need to find that sweet spot of serving sacrificially yet preserving enough energy so we can continue ministering. We need not obliterate ourselves. The key is to develop sustainable sacrifice, with boundaries. But HOW?

Saying ‘no’ is hard to do…

1.Learn to say ‘no’. For example, if you’ve agreed to serve at Sunday School, it is OK to preserve some time during the week set apart for study, preparation, and prayer, even it it means saying no to something good that would intrude on that time. You serve at work, plus you have responsibilities to an employer there, so it is OK to say no and guard some time to faithfully complete work tasks. Saying no to something, or deciding not to go somewhere or help someone during the times you’ve set apart, isn’t selfish. It just means you are striving for excellence in the ministrations where you ARE serving already.

Christopher Ash wrote a short book called Zeal without Burnout. Here is Ash with a short article at Challies’ site with some background and introductory explanations about how to be zealous for God without burning out-

The Difference Between Costly Sacrifice and Needless Burnout

Ash explains ‘sustainable sacrifice’, and what a ‘living sacrifice’ means. Here he is expounding in a video at his former church as a guest lecturing from his book if you don’t want to get the book.

His speech covers the following themes:

17:19, God Never Goes to Sleep
19:14, Allow Yourself Time for Sleep
20:01, How To Wind Down before Going to Sleep
25:43, The Sabbath Principle
26:49, We Need Friends

People-pleasing is easy to do

2.Are you a ‘people pleaser’? To some extent, we all are. We are told to love our neighbor as ourselves. However, if the motivation for our constant movement in serving is that you are aiming to please a person but Jesus doesn’t figure into your decision making, it’s the wrong motivation. There is a difference between mindful self-sacrifice as a duty to Jesus, and people-pleasing.

Here is an article from TGC on people-pleasing, which sometimes is the background of someone’s people-pleasing service if that applies to you.

Freedom from the Burden of People Pleasing–
Jesus came to give us life and life to the full (John 10:10). When we carry the burden of trying to keep everyone happy, that fullness starts to dissipate. We end up carrying a cross that is not ours to carry. We become embittered because, instead of glorifying God, we seek the world’s acceptance—a fickle and transient way to find significance.

As this Facebook random lady said, “You don’t have to set yourself on fire to keep everyone else warm.” Boundaries are not selfish, they are necessary tools for stewardship. Here is an article from Desiring God, “Die to Yourself Without Losing Yourself“-

Self-sacrifice can be exhausting. It can be painful, arduous, and largely thankless. Moreover, no shortage of people stand ready to take advantage of our willingness to serve. Nonetheless, few messages are more consistent in the New Testament than Christians being known for our sacrificial spirit (Romans 12:10).

A lot of ‘dying to self’ doesn’t mean DOING in the dying. It means mortifying ego, selfish ambition, wayward guilt, pride, and more. It’s working to choose forgiveness over a grudge, serving others without recognition and foregoing ego, managing anger, yielding our will to God’s purpose…etc. A lot of dying to self isn’t in visible external service to others, it is personal work on one’s own sin nature; it’s personal and internal. We are dying to our sin nature.

The gift of sleep

3. Spurgeon said, “Sleep is the gift of God, and not a man would close his eyes, did not God put his fingers on his eyelids”

I lay down and slept;
I awoke, for the Lord sustains me. (Proverbs 3:5)

When you lie down, you will not be afraid;
When you lie down, your sleep will be sweet. (Proverbs 3:24)

I know, I know, moms especially have a very hard time finding enough time to sleep. Little ones wake up in the night and what can you do? Except get up and tend to them. But if you can sleep when you can, without guilt, then prayerful, refreshing sleep prayed for and graciously given, we know it IS a gift.

Sleep and rest is God’s reminder to be humble.

There is no hard and fast ‘how-to’ in finding that balance. It’s personal and unique to every individual. As we grow, we tread a path of finding the sweet spot. It’s like any principle in life we discern from the Bible and apply to our lives as we go. As you learn to set boundaries, keep praying for the Spirit to help you realize if laziness or sloth is setting in, or alternately if you are still on a path to burnout. But remember, dying to self means our own work on sanctifying our holy nature and obliterating our sin nature.

THIS is dying to self- Galatians 5:24, Now those who belong to Christ Jesus crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.

by Elizabeth Prata

Lori Alexander The Transformed Wife of Twitter’s @godlywomanhood is the negative gift that keeps on giving. She is so prodigious in her errant output, there is a lot to choose from when I write an essay instructing sisters in discernment.

The genius of satan’s false teaching is that false teaching sounds good on the surface. It even has a grain of truth. If false teaching was overtly wrong, everyone could detect it. “The ocean is dry” is something that’s so patently false you know right away it’s wrong.

Satan is subtle and crafty (Genesis 3:1). It’s the first thing we learn about him.

Issue #1L KJV-Onlyism and word usage

Lori is a King James Onlyist. She agrees with her idol Michael Pearl who claims that only “the King James Bible is the word of God and not the other books“(source) and that all the other translations “are not really translations, they are not preservations of the word of God, they are modern renderings which involve somewhat the imagination of the authors. They are all done for the sake of selling something.” (Source). So, that is the first error from Lori, to reject all other translations. She does not have a handle on how or why Bible translations are done. Some translations are better than others, but to reject out of hand the NASB, LSB, ESV, NKJV and other good translations as not the word of God is a mistake.

Resource: What is the King James Only movement?

The other day Lori posted the following on X (formerly Twitter):

OK, good food for thought, right? Partly, yes. I mean, for one, it is an issue that Lori neglected to include a verse and just stated her opinion. On the other hand, selfie culture is self-absorbed. I mean, it’s right in the name. It makes you think, is taking selfies something God would be displeased with?

But I mention the King James issue for a reason. The language in that particular version is archaic, which means, some of the words have shifted meaning. Words are living, organic. I love certain verses better in the KJV myself, but I have no illusions that it is the ONLY translation worthy of including in the cadre of translations.

For example, in 2 Timothy 3:3 in the King James version we read that in the latter days, people will be “Without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good,“

The word incontinent is a late Middle English word. It meant a person who is unable to exercise self-control or restraint. Nowadays it means an inability to control the flow of urine from the bladder. The chart displays its common usage over time, which has declined.

The verse Lori alluded to when she wrote shamefaced is 1 Timothy 2:9. I use the NASB and LSB. The link takes you to a page with ALL the translations.

KJV: In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array;

The word ‘broided’ is not a typo. It is defined as to decorate with needlework or embroidery. We don’t use that word much anymore either. The KJV was completed in 1611. Words have shifted meaning in 400 years. If anyone doubts this, read Shakespeare.

Comparing to the NASB: Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or expensive apparel,

“shamefaced” literally in the Greek means “modestly”. In fact, prior to the KJV that Lori loves so much, the word was translated shamefastness. You see the archaic language and the fact that words change. Using a synonym modestly for shamefaced is perfectly fine, and easier for modern readers to understand.

Issue #2, Basing your Christianity on just 2 verses

Secondly, Lori’s insistence on teaching ONLY from the verse in Titus 2:3-5 means she often takes verses out of context. The verse to which she alludes (but doesn’t name) in her post involves the comportment of women in public worship, not taking photos of themselves in other life venues.

Barnes’ Notes explains: The world, as God has made it, is full of beauty, and he has shown in each flower that he is not opposed to true ornament. There are multitudes of things which, so far as we can see, appear to be designed for mere ornament, or are made merely because they are beautiful. Religion does not forbid true adorning. It differs from the world only on the question what “is” true ornament…

However, the concept of self in photographs is one that we should look into. Rather than misusing a verse, rather than taking a half of a verse out of context, rather than using an allusion to a verse as one’s own opinion, let’s take a look at the idea behind Lori’s comment.

Issue #3: Selfie culture can be dangerous

Should we be taking selfies? Is it indicative of an untoward self-absorption as a Christian woman?

GotQuestions takes on the issue in this essay What does the Bible say that would apply to selfie culture?

“A “selfie culture” is one in which people take a lot of selfies, of course. But, for the purposes of this article, we will further define a selfie culture as a widespread obsession with self-expression, self-esteem, and self-promotion, evidenced by the proliferation of self-portraits on social media. The Bible was written before the advent of camera phones, but God’s Word still has plenty to say about one’s view of self. While there is nothing inherently wrong with taking a selfie and sharing it with others, selfie culture, as defined above, is steeped in narcissism.”

A woman can decide for herself if she wants to take a photo of herself.

If a woman is consumed with self and posting obsessively all kinds of pictures of herself, then yes, there is a self-absorption issue and she needs to repent.

God’s commands to women are many. ONE is to be modest. Others are to serve others, to be selfless, to take care of her family, and so on. Taking a selfie now and then does not violate God’s commands for women. I mean, obviously not, else Lori herself would be violating God’s commands for her nearly daily selfie videos, right?

Ladies, watch out for the craftiness of false doctrine. It sounds good at first, but like a candy coated cyanide treat, it will eventually kill you. Look carefully before consuming.

Tag: self

Dying to self doesn’t mean obliteration