By Elizabeth Prata

Yesterday in part 1 I got personal, which is hard to do. But the Lord must be praised for what He does in our lives and that goes for me too. I can’t praise Him for His comfort and kindness if I never seem to have any trouble.

I do try to stay positive, because after all, we are co-heirs to the Kingdom, have treasure stored in heaven, and possess the greatest gift of all eternal life- salvation through Jesus and His indwelling Spirit. Believers have escaped the wrath of God because of Jesus’s voluntary death and His resurrection. It’s all good, literally.

But the boots on the ground, coming to terms with that gets harder to preach when trouble comes. Which is why trouble comes.

Paul had constant trouble and asked three times for the Lord to relieve him of it.

Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. (2 Corinthians 12:8).

The Lord declined. He had His reasons. It was so that Paul would not become conceited after having been given such great revelations. (2 Corinthians 12:7). John had received surpassingly great revelations, too, and in one case, John wrote a whole book about it. To my knowledge John was not given specific trouble to keep him from being conceited. The Lord tailors our afflictions to our internal needs, which only He knows. So I accepted the troubles because I trust Him.

During the last months I prayed, sought the Lord in His word, and waited. It’s what I know to do and what we’re instructed to do as we work and live on this earth. My prayers included asking to appropriately glorify Him through it. I was not successful with that as much as I should have been. I became gloomy and too introspective, which I have a tendency to do anyway.

I felt like I was in a vise, being squeezed from every direction. Tightly. My constriction felt severe.

As I was studying one day, I happened on a word for afflictions from external circumstances, a pressure, called thlipsis, from thlibo. I wanted to learn more. But the more I searched the more I could not get a handle on it. The meaning didn’t settle completely in my mind though I searched and searched.

So I waited some more.

I spoke about it with a friend at church. I wish I could say I was godly, but the conversation from my part was just complaining. Grumbling, Worrying. All sins. When I got home I repented of that. Again.

The next morning as I was closing my Bible and the pages flipped closed, I suddenly saw from barely the corner of my eye, a verse.

But we have this treasure in jars of clay, to show that the surpassing power belongs to God and not to us. 8We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies. (2 Corinthians 4:7-10).

BLAM! Well that hit me right in the face. No matter that I’d read it a hundred times, this time the Spirit impressed it to my heart and mind with an illumination that made me sit up in my chair. This is a blessing and a relief and a grace I value and love. I’m humbled when He illuminates the scripture to me in such a way.

I laser-focused on verse 8, We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair

I laser-laser focused on the word afflicted. It was thlipsis! Strong’s-

Cognate: 2346 thlíbō (the root of 2347 /thlípsis, reflecting an original “b”/bēta) – properly, rub together, constrict (compress), i.e. pressed together; (figuratively) oppressively afflict (distress), i.e. like when circumstances “rub us the wrong way” that make us feel confined (hemmed in); restricted to a “narrow” place. See 2347 (thlipsis).

It helped just reading the verse. Just reading it. I felt all my perplexity and afflictions melt away. This peace can only be from Him. It surpassed my understanding.

I’m still afflicted, a number of things are coming like a train. But I feel comforted about it. The Word itself was like a pin that pricked the balloon and gave me comfort. From 2 Corinthians 4:8 Paul gives wisdom. The Spirit illuminated it in my mind and helps me apply it. The MacArthur commentary on the passage gives further explanation.

I turned to my MacArthur commentary for verse 8. I read,

By a series of four contrasts, the apostle demonstrated that his inabilities did not cripple his ability to minister. First, he was afflicted in every way, but not crushed

Afflicted is from the verb thlibo and refers to being under pressure. As noted above, Paul was under constant physical and spiritual pressure, so much so that he wrote earlier in his epistle that he was “burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; (2 Corinthians 1:8-9).

But despite the pressure, Paul was not crushed. Crushed is from the verb stenochoreo, which refers to being confined to a narrow, tight place. The pressure he faced could not keep Paul’s ministry bottled up.

Second, Paul was perplexed but not despairing. The Greek text contains a play on words, the participles translated perplexed and despairing are from the verbs aporeo and exaporeo, respectively. He was at a loss, but not a total loss. He was at his wit’s end, but there was still a way out; he was at the brink of defeat, but not defeated.

I’ll spare you the rest of the explanation. The paragraphs really spoke to me. I was truly relieved to read this, and there is no earthly reason why. I’m still afflicted I’m still in the midst of my little trials. Certainly I am weak, unable, and powerless. Yet, we have a LORD who sees.

He saw Hagar in the wilderness crying. (Genesis 16:1-13). He spoke to her. He told her to go back and submit to her mistress. He also promised her that her descendants would increase and be too numerous to count. Her afflictions didn’t only not evaporate but increased as when she returned things got worse.

But she blessed him and was comforted by the fact that He saw and spoke to her. She named God El Roi, the God Who Sees.

We are not blessed with personal visits from an incarnated Jesus as Hagar was blessed by a visit from a pre-incarnate Jesus. But the Spirit indwelling us speaks to us and comforts through His word.

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest upon me.”

How can His power be made perfect in me unless I acknowledge my weakness? How can I boast of my weakness and His strength unless I acknowledge my weakness?

My goal is to be purposely joyful in the face of tremendous pressure (thlipsis) from external circumstances. Since the Lord is obviously the author of these pressures and troubles I’ve been experiencing, I can only maintain a joyful confidence in the face of them, as Paul did and said we must, in 2 Corinthians 4:8

I will pray for strength to be joyfully confident. But also people will not know it’s the Lord’s strength and confidence & not mine unless I reveal my pressure-ridden trials and attribute to Him the result. That is what this 2-part testimony is about.

He has given me understanding in the scriptures. He has given me peace by dissolving my increasing perplexity and feeling of being crushed. These are the gifts. We have a Lord who sees. We have a Lord who hears. I will try always to look to Him, boast in my weakness, and pray His work in me continues, no matter how uncomfortable it becomes. This isn’t an easy prayer, but it’s a necessary one.

Jesus is compassionate in His majesty and majestic in His compassion.

I am always leery of proclaiming a testimony. I’m not skilled and rather untactful and I don’t want to make it about me. It’s about Jesus. I pray that I’ve touted Jesus and His wonderful work in me this week to Him. All glory goes to Him.

 

By Elizabeth Prata

In an unusual move, I’m going to get personal. This is a testimony in 2 parts. Part 1 is what was wrong. Part 2 is what came right. As hard as it is to openly discuss my personal challenges, I must praise the Lord and give Him glory for what He has done. His glory comes first.

Since May, I’ve been under an increasing pressure from one thing after another happening, to such an extent that it’s obvious it’s God applying the pressure.

During the last week of May, I got pneumonia. It came suddenly. I’d had a cold and a slight sinus infection but I thought it was going away. It was actually gathering strength at the bottom of my lungs, only to spring up and try and defeat me one night as I slept.

I woke up not being able to breathe. I sincerely thought I was about to kick the bucket, a scary thought at 3 am for someone living alone. The doctor wanted to put me in the hospital but I wanted to recover at home. It was touch and go, since I had a bad bout of it. I was in and out of the doc’s office for breathing treatments, meds, and oxygen checks for the next two weeks. Fortunately it had been the last days of school, just the teacher close-up days, so I didn’t miss much work.

During the first week in June, my cat also got sick. He began defecating outside the box, usually the only signal cats give when they are ill. Even though I had a temperature of 102, I brought him to the vet and they gave some pills and advice. I waited for the meds to kick in, but his bathroom times were still a problem. It was very stressful to be so sick and also to see him in pain. Having to constantly watch for poop bombs and cleaning up was exhausting, too.

Both me and Bert got worse. One night during the next week, at about 8 pm, Bert flopped down on his side and howled. He had tried to go, I saw him trying, and instead he stopped and just howled in pain. I loaded him in the cat carrier and zoomed to the only place (and the best place) open at night, University of Georgia Veterinary Emergency Hospital.

Bert was there 3 days and didn’t come home. I cried so hard. UGA then sent me a four-digit bill, and I cried harder, lol. No regrets, though. Bert was a good cat for 12 years.

That was the end of May and June. During my near-constant visits to the doctor I’d asked her about my IBS. I’d been in increasingly constant pain in my gut for about two years and had the other associated issues with IBS too. My mom’s a celiac.

Celiac disease is a serious autoimmune disease that occurs in genetically predisposed people where the ingestion of gluten leads to damage in the small intestine. … Celiac disease is hereditary, meaning that it runs in families. Source

Knowing celiac runs in families, I had been decreasing the amount of wheat based foods over the last couple of years but it had become obvious that I needed to rid myself of it entirely. They tell you about the physical pros and cons of gluten sensitivity but not the emotional impact. Foods that I’d associated with my heritage were now forbidden. Foods I’d associated with pleasant or holiday memories, all had to be abandoned. This was a loss.

Deleting gluten from my diet helped but didn’t solve my IBS. So I gave up dairy also. That helped more, but again, not totally. I was physically tired. Fast transit from intake to expelling meant few nutrients were being applied to my body. Vitamin count was low. Tiredness was high. I was also demoralized and at my wit’s end. So when I had opportunity to speak with my doctor, I did. She steered me to a nutritionist who was up on new science. When I met with her in July she put me on the FODMAP elimination diet.

FODMAPs are short-chain carbs that are resistant to digestion. Instead of being absorbed into your bloodstream, they reach the far end of your intestine where most of your gut bacteria reside. Your gut bacteria then use these carbs for fuel, producing hydrogen gas and causing digestive symptoms in sensitive individuals. FODMAPs also draw liquid into your intestine, which may cause diarrhea. Source

Sorry to be so specific. The problem was causing serious quality of life issues. It was also impacting my work. I drew the line. The situation had exceeded my capacity for resolution and I needed an expert. The elimination diet is difficult and complicated. I was glad I’d had a chance to experience it during the summer when I was home from work. But it demanded a large quantity of time, money, and mental capacity. It’s helpful, but it’s a struggle. So, another struggle.

The timing of the conclusion of the elimination portion of the diet trial and complicated  reintroduction of food phase coincided with my return to work: August. We received our new schedules at work and they were yet ever more demanding. The 8-hour day is a blur and we are extremely busy. My brain was fried almost right away and my body rebelled against the demanding schedule.

In September, I saw that an enormous quantity of oil had been spraying along my passenger side transom. Scary. Ever since in a previous car my idle pulley fell off and I lost steering, electronics, and my engine overheated at once, as I was traveling 55 mph, I have a near paralyzing fear of driving. Though I have another car now, the memory of that scary moment is emblazoned on my mind. Car issues send me into a blind panic. It turned out I needed a new axle on my car. Oh, no.

In October, my tooth broke, necessitating three trips to the dentist for reconstruction and then a crown. Another 4-digit bill loomed.

And in between there were many other things. It got to be almost humorous. The moment I solved one issue another popped up immediately. I don’t mean the next week, I mean the same day. I was praying a lot.

A person doesn’t have to endure a huge diagnosis or a death or something terribly tragic to be burdened. The constant drip-drip-drip of small-to-medium issues constantly draining one’s  pocketbook and demanding my mental problem-solving attention is also a burden. A person can fade from a thousand paper cuts.

I sought the Lord, never asking why, though. I wasn’t saved until age 42 and I lived as a terrible sinner, the chiefest of sinners. I know the Lord can do anything He wants with me, the creature. I’m still amazed He saved me and I’m still grateful that I am saved. I know through and through I am a vessel, His to do with as He pleases. But I worried about a sin I was overlooking, or a displeasing attitude or something, something that I could correct so as to end the discipline (if that is what it was).

I know He sharpens us for His glory and for better service, and that is OK. But no one mentions how much the process raises unease or how bad it hurts. I do not like to disappoint my Lord. And to be honest, being under so much pressure and needful circumstances was uncomfortable. I was reaching a frustration point. I was in an ever-tightening vise.

Part 2 tomorrow, Lord willing.