Posted in authoritarianism, mark driscoll, mars hill, paul petry, spiritual abuse

Spiritual abuse rising in many places, it seems

If you are aware of pretty much anything in the church these days, you will be aware that the church of today has many problems. There are carnal people who are not saved but think they are, people living as if Jesus is a cherry on their man-made sundae, worship songs that are more like rock concerts, seeker sensitive, word-faith, prosperity gospel imitations of true faith. We know from all this, and from the 7 Letters to the Churches contained in the first three chapters of Revelation that the church was in trouble and will be in trouble.

One of the troubles that is rising fast in these days is “authoritarianism” or “spiritual abuse.” More bloggers and pastor-teachers are writing about it. That is because it is a problem that has burst onto the Christian horizon as suddenly as a tornado or a lighting bolt. But that is not to say that the conditions laid out for its emergence as a problem have been as sudden. The conditions that support spiritual abuse have long been laid.

The conditions that allow spiritual abuse to thrive are like mushrooms on manure. I wrote about how and why spiritual abuse happens here: When carnality leads to spiritual abuse. Part of the reason it occurs is that congregations have silently abdicated their command to test these things for themselves, (1Thess 5:21) and to seek truth from the scriptures like good Bereans. (Acts 17:11). They are only too willing to submit instead to a person who tells them what to do, and that person is not Christ. Alone and unlearned, and seeing a chink in armor, pastors who are wolves come in, not sparing the flock. (Acts 20:29).

I wrote about the signs that a church may be becoming spiritually abusive, here:
Is your church spiritually abusive?

Here is a definition of spiritual abuse, though not an exclusive one, certainly:
“Certain signatures define spiritual abuse: authoritarian leadership, claims that the group or leaders have a special calling or gifts, inability of leaders to handle criticism, harsh treatment of those who question or try to leave. These are just a few. Though the manifestation of abuse differs in externals, underneath are similar traits, repeated in abusive groups. Become familiar with spiritual abuse in a variety of churches and you will soon see how these leaders manipulate and control.”

A couple of years ago, rumblings started to emerge from one of the nation’s largest “evangelical” churches, Mars Hill in Seattle, pastored by Mark Driscoll. Some talk of authoritarianism came out and then later some rumors of spiritual abuse. Matthew Paul Turner was one, Bent Meyer was another.

Then, another Mars Hill elder and his wife came forward several weeks ago: Paul Petry and his wife Jonna. Paul put up a blog containing documents clearly showing in the pastor and elders’ own words just how permeating the pastoral abuse at Mars Hill had gone. Paul’s wife Jonna put up a gripping narrative that re-tells their abusive treatment done in the name of Christ by Mars Hill Pastor Mark Driscoll and others. Though the abuse occurred over a period that concluded 5 years ago, the couple had sought reconciliation for several years after, then went on to healing, and then through prayer finally felt led to open the lid to the can of worms and explain what had happened. They did so gently and sensitively, which is why their blog and the documents hit the Christian world like a bomb.

Here is their blog: Joyful Exiles. In it, Mark Petry said,

“Four and half years ago, I was fired from Mars Hill Church because I refused to resign under pressure. I was a pastor on staff, an elder, and an officer of the corporation along with a group of other men. I spent months seeking formal reconciliation and years hoping for a better course. I have not spoken about these matters publicly until now. With the mounting stories and “histories” coming out regarding Mars Hill Church, it no longer seems right or beneficial to remain silent.”

If you care to read Jonna Petry’s narrative, it is here. I recommend it as a lesson not only in how spiritual abuse works and its devastating effects, but as a lesson in grace bestowed by the Holy Spirit and a treatise in forgiveness. Jesus surely is great and the Holy Spirit a comforter in times of trouble.

A couple of years ago when the problem was not as widely known, when people would leave or be exiled from their abusive church and come forward with their story, they were painted as cranks, malcontents, and witch bloggers. Part of the problem of authoritarianism is that the authority that has clutched onto the church leadership has as a regular ammunition in their arsenal no compunction to excoriate their accusers. Ad hominem attacks by the abusive are a standard marker of abuse, and it was often hard to sort out who was telling the truth on what. Many didn’t even try, the entire issue being so negative and sordid. But as this problem grew, and more and more people came forward the issue began to sink in that it is a real and present problem. It seems that a critical mass has been reached as to the breadth and the legitimacy of the problem.

Tim Challies wrote about it here. And then he wrote about it again here.

I sought and received permission to re-publish Christian Counselor Bob Kellemen’s essay on spiritual abuse here.

This week Wade Burleson wrote about it here.

I don’t have a lot more to say about the issue of authoritarianism, or spiritual abuse, than I’ve said already. But I welcome the chorus of solid Christians who are speaking out about it. Like any abuse, there is shame and humiliation associated with it felt by the abused, and there is also a real battle to know whether to legitimately speak up or to remain silent.

To that end, this article may help from Christian Research Institute Journal, Christians Chriticizing Christians: Can It Be Biblical?.

Here is a website that offers information on the topic, starting with this article, “The Bible and Spiritual Abuse

Provender has the best archive of helpful articles on the topic that I have yet seen. It includes information on spotting it, dealing with it, talking about it, and recovering from it.

One of the early, and seminal, books on the topic is now completely online in a .pdf. Recovering from Churches that Abuse by Ronald Enroth.

I am personally heartbroken whenever I read of a church that engages in spiritual abuse. It is a glorious thing for Jesus to raise up a humble pastor to guide the people the Spirit has sent to his church. It is a special blessing to receive preaching that is solid and true. Pastors who counsel kindly and who are themselves an example of Godly love are a triumph of the Holy Spirit’s work in the world. Therefore I am especially heartbroken when I read of one who has gone wayward. I know they will be judged more strictly (James 3:1). I have cried many tears over one in particular.

I think to myself, what a waste! What a torment to abuse Jesus’s pulpit for personal gain or glory! What a heartbreak for the people who are stuck there!

But I do caution against excessive sentimentality on the cycle of abuse in that it is not all the pastor’s fault. Authoritarian churches only exist if there is not only an abusive pastor or elder but if there are those who remain to be abused. No one is stuck there. In that, Paul Washer has a good thought–

“False teachers are God’s judgment on people who don’t want God, but in the name of religion plan on getting everything their carnal heart desires. That’s why a Joel Osteen is raised up. Those people who sit under him are not victims of him but he is the judgment of God upon them. And they want exactly what he wants, and it’s not God.” ~ Paul Washer

I pray for the reconciliation of these abusers to a Holy and Righteous and loving Jesus. I pray for congregations’ eyes to be opened and for their ears to hear what the Spirit says to the churches. If you have been in an abusive church then bless you, and I hope that in just knowing you are not alone by seeing these links and reading these stories that you will allow the Spirit to begin the healing process in you. You have a comforter, given to you by God himself:

“And I will pray the Father, and he shall give you another Comforter, that he may abide with you for ever;” (John 14:16).

“In the same way the Spirit also helps our weakness; for we do not know how to pray as we should, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words;’ (Romans 8:26).

No matter what your trial, dear one, Jesus is sufficient for all our needs, even amid the heartbreak of abuse. For those who have been spiritually abused, you know the deep sense of betrayal that splits apart the heart. Yet for all that, Jesus is mighty. He endured an even greater betrayal by the very people He had come to serve and save:

“Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has gone through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to the faith we profess. For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet was without sin. Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need.” (Hebrews 4:14-16).

He knows how you feel. He knows. Praise our God who feels our pain and who intercedes for us, approach His throne in your pain and leave it there for Him.

Peace be with you…

Posted in authoritarianism, spiritual abuse, state of the church

State of the Church part 5b: Is your church spiritually abusive?

Part 1: Introduction, Love growing cold
Part 2: Are you tending your anchor?
Part 3: The numbers aren’t good
Part 4: Carnal Carnival, & the greatest sin pastors commit
Part 5a: When carnality leads to spiritual abuse
Conclusion: Spiritual Leaders and Humble Relationships

We have been exploring Jesus’ end time prophecy in Matthew 24:12, which says, “Because of the increase of wickedness, the love of most will grow cold,” and looked at how this prophecy applies to believers. We explored the incremental drifting away from Jesus and how that impacts our selves and our churches in part 2. In part 3 we looked at the numbers of surveyed born-again believers who state they hold to a biblical worldview and found that it was 8-9%. When you have 91-92% of a congregation that has in some part a secular worldview you are in for trouble, and part 4 looked at that trouble: carnality. Part 5a looked at the biblical fact of spiritual abuse as long being a fact of history from the Old Testament to the New. It is prophesied to occur in the last days. In Acts 20:29 Paul wrote, “I know that after my departure savage wolves will come in among you, not sparing the flock.” Not just wolves, but savage wolves. And they will not spare the flock. That is the focus of this part 5b. How will they not spare the flock?

Let’s take a look at the Greek meaning of the word used in the Acts verse, savage. We have our own idea in English of what savage wolves means. We form a picture in our head from National Geographic of bloody wolves’ muzzles and snarling teeth tearing flesh from undefended sheep. But the Greek paints a bit of a different picture.

Here is the Concordance: savage, or some translations say vicious, is from the Greek word ‘barus.’ This means heavy. “properly, heavy (weighty); what is grievous (burdensome), pressing down on a person with oppressive force. Such a grievous burden makes a person unable to function (enjoy free movement).”

Jesus died so we would be liberated from bondage: bondage to sin, bondage to men (Luke 4:16-20, Isaiah 61:1). So pastors who do the opposite of what Jesus wants is to heavily oppress us. They will place on us grievous burdens so heavy we are unable to function.

This paints the exact picture of the excessive legalism, worldliness and selfishness that the Pharisees and other New Testament false teachers were promoting (Judaizers, etc). Paul told us that false teachers and leaders would come in laying a weight on us that would be so heavy we would not be able to move. Paul’s words match exactly what today’s authoritarian pastors are doing to the flock, and let me assure you, the flock is not only ‘not spared’. They’re targeted.

“Spiritual abuse can take place in the context of doctrinally sound, Bible preaching, fundamental, conservative Christianity. All that is needed for abuse is a pastor accountable to no one and therefore beyond confrontation. Authoritarian leaders are ecclesiastical loners. That is, they do not function well or willingly in the context of systematic checks or balances. They are fiercely independent and refuse to be part of a structure of accountability. To put it crudely, they operate a one-man … spiritual show.” (online source). Being above accountability is never a good thing in any system, and churches are no different.

Steve Martin of Founder’s Journal wrote cogently and excellently on this topic. I recommend his article in its entirety! Founders Ministries is a ministry of teaching and encouragement promoting both doctrine and devotion expressed in the Doctrines of Grace and their experiential application to the local church, particularly in the areas of worship and witness. Founders Ministries takes as its theological framework the first recognized confession of faith that Southern Baptists produced, The Abstract of Principles. The author is Pastor of Heritage Church, Peachtree City, Georgia.

In his article, “Authoritarianism in the church,” Mr Martin wrote, “A tragic and dangerous trend can be observed in some contemporary evangelical churches. While standing against the lawlessness and anti-authority mood of this generation, some conservative, Bible-believing churches have drifted into deadly authoritarian tendencies. This sad phenomenon is increasingly becoming publicized and well-documented (see suggested reading list at the end of this article). Why is this happening? What kind of attitudes engender authoritarianism in a church? Whose fault is it? What can be done about it? Before proceeding any farther, some definition is in order. For the purposes of this article, “authoritarianism” is defined as an abuse of the authority given by Christ through the agency of the Holy Spirit and revealed in God’s Word which the office holders of the local churches are to exercise.”

“Surely the cause of authoritarianism and idol-worship is sin. But what sins in particular need to be recognized, repented of and mortified by the Holy Spirit’s help? Five sins of the shepherds (Idolatry, Praylessness, Unbelief, Lack of love for the sheep, Pride) and three sins of the sheep come to mind (Idol-worship, Fear of man, & Unbelief). Taken together they produce churches with a powerfully sinful pathology which dishonors Christ, smothers the sheep, inflates the shepherds and hinders the work of God.” [emphasis mine]

Of course without even reading the article one will know that pride will be a the root of authoritarian/spiritually abusive shepherds. Martin wrote, “Humble shepherds look to God’s sheep with compassion; prideful shepherds look down upon the sheep with scornful contempt for their weaknesses and failings. Humble shepherds remember that even the Great Shepherd of the sheep patiently endured the misunderstanding, scolding and fleshly rebukes of His sheep (cf. Matt. 16:22; Mark 4:38; 1 Peter 2:21-23). Prideful shepherds however react to every real and perceived slight to their “august personage.” How unlike their Master! Shepherds must learn that they cannot be conformed to the image of Christ as longsuffering and forgiving unless they are “long bothered” and wronged. Pride, however, responds to the irritations of sinners with anger. An angry leader is a prideful leader.”

Now we will look at what authoritarianism, or spiritual abuse, is.

“The most distinctive characteristic of a spiritually abusive religious system, or leader, is the over-emphasis on authority. Because a person or persons claim to have been established by God Himself the leaders in this system claim the right to command their followers. This authority supposedly comes from the position they occupy. … The assumption is that God operates among His people through a hierarchy, or “chain of command.” In this abusive system unconditional submission is often called a “covering,” or “umbrella of protection” which will provide some spiritual blessing to those who fully submit. Followers may be told that … it is not the questioner’s place to judge or correct the leadership – they are told that God will do it later.”

Suppresses Criticism
“Because the religious system is not based on the truth it cannot allow questions, dissent, or open discussions about issues. The person who dissents becomes the problem rather than the issue he raised. The truth about any issue is settled and handed down from the top of the hierarchy. Questioning anything is considered a challenge to authority.”

Unspoken Rules
In their book “The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse” David Johnson & Jeff VanVonderen discuss an abusive church’s penchant for instituting unspoken rules. You may never know that these rules exist- until you break one. Then, the common reaction is to instantly whisk away ministries, to shame and humiliate the one who spoke out, among other repercussions.

From the book: ‘You know we must never disagree with the pastor on his sermons—and if you do, you will never be trusted and never be allowed to minister in any capacity in this church.’ In this case, the unspoken rule is: Do not disagree with the church authorities —especially the pastor—or your loyalty will be suspect. Rules like this remain unspoken, because examining them in the light of mature dialogue would instantly reveal how illogical, unhealthy and anti-Christian they are. So silence becomes the fortress wall of protection, shielding the pastor’s power position from scrutiny or challenge.” (p.67). This also becomes the ‘don’t talk-can’t talk’ unwritten rule.

“If you speak about the problem out loud, you are the problem.” The truth is, when people talk about problems out loud, they don’t cause them, they simply expose them.” (p.68)

Misplaced Loyalty
Spiritually abusive churches are performance based. An unwritten system of rewards and punishments is a common characteristic of an abusive system. This next excerpt is also from the book “The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse”:

“The next characteristic of spiritually abusive systems is that a misplaced sense of loyalty is fostered and even demanded. We’re not talking about loyalty to Christ, but about loyalty to a given organization, church, or leader.” (p.76)

“A common way this is accomplished is by setting up a system where disloyalty to or disagreement with the leadership is construed as the same thing as disobeying God. Questioning leaders is equal to questioning God. After all, the leader is the authority, and authority is always right. This causes people to misplace their loyalty in a leader, a church or an organization.” (p.76)

It would be impossible to cover in one blog entry or even one series the entire dynamics of how spiritual abuse happens or what it looks like. There are other elements too, that I have not covered, such as Elitism, Legalism, traumatic departure, and sanction oriented systems. The effects are devastating. Ultimately, what all the symptoms add up to is an unhealthy church body, something we are warned will happen in copious amounts in the last days.

 This website is a clearinghouse of information on the topic, such as red flags to watch for, symptoms, recovery, extrication, and more. I also recommend Founder’s Journal article by Steve Martin excerpted above, and this website run by one of the books’ authors, “The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse”, Jeff VanVonderen.

The existence of authoritarian pastors and the effects they weigh on the sheep are slow to be seen. New folks or folks not too engaged with the church may never see a problem at all. It is only the inner circle, or those who have been burned, that come to understand something is not right. However, the effects are not invisible, and here are a few things to watch for.

Has there been a quiet exodus from the church in recent months?
Are pews empty looking, attendance dropping?
Is there a palpable feeling of tension or unease?
Do you leave week after week feeling unfed?
Are ministries merely limping along or declining?
Are you afraid to go to the pastor/deacons/leaders with a doctrinal issue?
Does the pastor have a ‘bad side’ you don’t want to get on?
Is there a false call to unity where discussion is called division?
Have you witnessed the head of your church and/or other leaders, use public shaming as a method to gain compliance of congregants?
Does the head of your church and his “fellow elders” appear to be intolerant or consider it persecution when criticized or questioned?
Are you discouraged to associate with former members?
Is questioning condemned as “whispering, back- biting, vicious slander, gossip, nit picking, signs of a proud rebellious spirit, being disaffected and divisive?”
Are those who dissent publicly punished? Are their reputations murdered by veiled, or not so veiled “revelations” of “sins”; past and present, as confidentiality is broken for the benefit of the leaders?
Do the spiritual leaders at your church seem to give you the impression that either covertly or overtly, they have the right to tell you how you should manage your own family; presuming that they know your own family better than you know yourself?

The fact that authoritarianism even exists is heartbreaking. That Jesus is lifted up as our Shepherd, the Head of our body, lovingly installing pastors and leaders and teachers and growing the body is a beautiful thing. But in these last days love grows cold, and even a beautiful Bride can be dragged through the mud, and it hurts to see it happening so frequently in the American church. It just hurts. I hurt on behalf of all of you who have been wounded by those who are supposed to be called by God to feed you, and I hurt for those who have been wounded by those brethren who are called to love each other unconditionally.

I know I haven’t done the topic justice, but I hope I’ve provided enough points to get you thinking, and to share resources for further information.

Pastor Steve Martin ended his article with good words- “May God give His people [shepherdsand ;sheep] grace to see their sins and repent of them. We dare not glory in our current condition and slothfully ignore the deplorable state of much of Christ’s Church. We must first judge ourselves that we may not be judged. And we must plead the purposes and promises of our Father in begging Him for the renewal of the Holy Spirit. Portions of the Word of God speaking directly to shepherds should be memorized and regularly meditated upon. A pastor or elder would do well to commit to memory Ezekiel 34:1-16; John 10:1-18; 1 Corinthians 13; Philippians 2:1-11; 1 Thessalonians 2 (whole chapter); 1 Peter 5:1-11.”

But the best final word is from the Holy Spirit Himself:
“You were bought at a price; do not become slaves of men.” 1 Corinthians 7:23.