Sisters, I want to take a moment to speak from my heart, and directly. I have two points here today. First, Lori Alexander The Transformed Wife gave out some advice to a questioner that was sad, pitiful, error-ridden, and unwise. Again.
Lori Alexander
The “advice” was regarding marital relations. This is a topic on which she seems to be fixated, and talks about it much too often publicly. I’ve said this before on social media. I say it again. Lori lacks discretion, modesty, and self-control.
Yes, it IS an important topic, but…here is my 2nd point:
My 2nd point is this: as I said, personal discussions of marital relations isn’t a topic for a social media influencer to bring up so frequently, but if it needs to be discussed, do so one-on-one privately. And NO ONE should be giving sex advice or health advice through a screen to anonymous online people she doesn’t know.
source wikimedia commons
IF a woman has an intimate question, she should ask someone who is close to her, who knows the her, knows her context, her history. She should ask the godly older woman in her life. THAT person is more likely to be knowledgeable enough to give health and sex advice. This would be her older sister, mother, grandmother, mentor, pastor’s wife, gynecologist…etc.
In addition, shame on the women who seek out Lori’s advice on the subject, too. Asking such intimate and personal questions of a random person online, no matter how large her platform, is unwise and not recommended.
Do not follow Lori Alexander “@godlywomanhood”. It is best NOT to ask her for advice. It is best NOT to follow any advice she gives. She is a false teacher.
There’s weakness, and then there’s weakness. It depends on which kind you’re talking about.
Christian women are noted as the weaker vessel. (1 Peter 3:7).
As for Christian weakness in general, we’re all weak, we are supposed to be. Paul said that Jesus replied to him,
‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My power is perfected in weakness.’ Therefore I will boast all the more gladly in my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest on me. That is why, for the sake of Christ, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:9-10).
There’s weak because we’re laden with sin that makes us weak. That is one reason we strive not to sin. We pick up our cross daily and slay sin. When we do sin, it’s important to address it by repenting to Jesus and making things right with the other person, if you had involved another person in your sin. Sin is one reason we become weak and ineffective.
There’s weak because we understand our depravity and seek the Spirit’s strength. There’s weak when we see how powerful Jesus is, and understand our own powerlessness in the face of His omnipotence. There’s physically weak, due to illness temporary or permanent.
In some cases, God gives us weakness. He gave to Paul a “thorn in the side” both to keep Paul humble, and to demonstrate that all we need is His grace (not our own strength). (2 Corinthians 12:7)
In America where I’m from, strength is valued. Strength, bravado, and self-sufficiency are nationally recognized attributes, idols, even. In addition, American Feminism has also contributed to a national consciousness that we woman are supposed to have it all together and be capable of all things at all times. “I can bring home the bacon AND fry it up in a pan” as the old TV advertisement alleged.
The attributes of weakness, meekness, and humility aren’t as valued as they are in other nations. But it’s OK to be weak. It’s good. Why?
It’s God who strengthens us. I can do all things through him who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13).
Wouldn’t you rather have His strength than your own strength, anyway? 🙂
The Bible says some women are weak, and it is meant in a bad way. The Bible also says Christians are to be weak, but it’s meant in a good way. Let’s look at the two ways.
Weak in a bad way
For among them are those who creep into households and capture weak women, burdened with sins and led astray by various passions (2 Timothy 3:6)
The Greek word for weak here is gunaikarion, a contemptuous term meaning a silly, foolish, little woman.
Jamieson, Fausset, & Brown Commentary says,
laden with sins—(Isa 1:4); applying to the “silly women” whose consciences are burdened with sins, and so are a ready prey to the false teachers who promise ease of conscience if they will follow them. A bad conscience leads easily to shipwreck of faith (1Ti 1:19).
Weak woman is strong. She prays and relies on Jesus.
For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong. (2 Corinthians 12:10).
Gill’s Explains it this way:
for when I am weak, then am I strong; when he was attended with all the above mentioned infirmities, when laden with reproaches, surrounded with necessities, followed with persecutions, and brought into the utmost straits and difficulties, and was most sensible of his weakness in himself to bear and go through all these things; then was he upheld by the divine arm, and strengthened by the power of Christ; so that he was not only able to sustain the conflict, but became more than a conqueror, and even to triumph in the midst of these adversities;
The difference is that silly weak women are loaded down with unrepented-of sin, which clouds their mind and they fall prey to untruth. Weak women who rely on the glorious Divine Arm to lift them are wise, strong, and in His power. They know the truth and see Him clearly. They possess virtue and radiate calm wisdom.
Repent often. Pray frequently. Consult the Word repeatedly. Then we will not be silly, foolish, or an embarrassment to the faith.
I mentioned earlier that there was a disruptive conversation/argument on Twitter this summer sparked by Dale Partridge concerning whether women can or should teach theology to other women. I dealt with that in my essay blog here, and also reposted Chris Hohnholz’ conclusion within it.
In my opinion this discussion is important because the conversation seems to be part of a growing segment of the faith, edging ever more to the fringe of the faith (and perhaps soon to creep OUT of the faith?) which is hyper-conservative and hyper-focused negative aspects on women. Not the feminist side but the reaction to feminists that is swinging the pendulum toward the extreme other end of the spectrum.
Some men, like Dale Partridge, and women, like Lori Alexander, (The Transformed Wife), harp on the fact that women are more susceptible to error than men, and that this is why men must lead.
This isn’t true. The hierarchy of men leading and women helping was established before the Fall of Man into sin. Eve was specifically created to be a helpmeet. Adam was told to work the garden.
The ever thoughtful, ever articulate, Chris Hohnholz rebutted this idea of women being more susceptible than men to doctrinal error. Here is his response to that erroneous concept being touted by unlearned people online:
“Today’s #PointToPonder: In the Garden, Eve was deceived and transgressed. Adam was not deceived and transgressed. This is biblical truth. However, before you jump to making an argument about how the deception of Eve is characteristic of her being, thus consigning all women to being susceptible to deception, remember Adam was not deceived yet he transgressed.”
“Why is this important? Because some are saying that men are to lead because they are less prone to deception and were made, in their being, for such things. However, Adam’s transgression was willful and purposeful. In other words, he knew it was wrong and did it anyway.“
“Therefore, if women are susceptible, in their being to deception, men are then susceptible to rank disobedience and rebellion, in their being. Neither are by nature of their being, better for leadership. To assert otherwise is to commit a selective reading of Scripture.”
“Authority and leadership are rooted first and foremost in God who has determined our purposes and roles in accordance with His sovereign will. He has created us and gifted us uniquely for those roles and purposes. Yes, men are things women are not and women are things men are not. And it is a glorious gifting of God that it is this way. The question of what makes a person suited for authority and leadership is “What does Scripture command” not “What is the nature of our being”. So, let’s stop being cocky and attributing something to women that somehow makes them less and men more.”
—end Chris Hohnholz comment
I believe, sadly, that some of the people promoting this view enjoy making women less and men more. I believe this about Lori Alexander. Far from being an advocate of women, or a support for women, her comments seem to constantly berate women.
The other day Christian journalist Megan Basham @megbasham asked @Phil_Johnson_ on Twitter about this new stance we are seeing pop up. She said,
“I’m trying to understand what’s happening in some circles right now. Overcorrection? New hybrid strain of sharia law and evangelicalism?“
I’ve seen an increasingly strict emphasis on modesty, a narrow interpretation of women must wear head coverings. As a result, more than one person has referenced in response to these highly strict, women-submission type comments, that what next? should we be wearing Muslim hijabs, and under sharia law? (“In Islam, Sharia Law refers to the divine counsel that Muslims follow to live moral lives and grow close to God”, says the CFC.) In fact, when Lori Alexander The Transformed Wife promoted something for women that went beyond the Bible (and lacked grace) a Muslim women ‘liked’ the comment and mentioned sharia law positively.
Sisters, when your comments about women bring to mind strict Muslim culture and you have Muslims who promote Sharia law approve your posts, it is time to step back and take a look at not only what you’re posting, but what you believe.
Women and men both have strengths, both have vulnerable points. We glory in the creativity and wisdom of God who made us to complement each other in our gender roles, and who also complement each other in our churches with the Spiritual gifts the Holy Spirit has dispensed.
Please watch out for and reject this hyper-submission, extra-biblical narrow and negative view of women. Both women and men are precious to God, neither are less than the other and neither are more than the other. God is great and He loves us humans, all we frail, sinful, sheep.
This past April there was a social media discussion that erupted after a man named Dale Partridge posted a podcast or two or three, claiming that it is unbiblical for women to teach theology even to other women. This was a new take on the verses he founded this thought from, some of which are Titus 1:9, 1 Corinthians 11:3, 1 Timothy 2:11-14, 1 Corinthians 14:34-35, Ephesians 5:24-27, and so on.
Was he right? Or was he going too far? It threw a lot of people into confusion during the summer, including me. Diligent Christian women WANT to do the right thing, and many of us who emulate the Bereans (Acts 17:11) went back to double check.
My own conclusion after searching the scriptures in context, is that this man was wrongly applying scripture. I then did a deep dive into Dale’s Christian life and teaching and concluded his theology was not to be trusted. He went beyond scripture, his life was one flip to another both in employment and in doctrinal stances. He is a serial plagiarist (which alone disqualifies him from leading), and fails to tell the truth more frequently than can be attributed to an accidental slip of the typing. As more people focused on him who did the same, and compared his ‘teaching’ to the Bible, their conclusion also was that his life and his doctrine didn’t stand up.
Nick Campbell was one of these who presented a detailed conclusion to Partridge’s life and doctrine, and at that time I obtained permission to re-post his conclusions on this blog. It is here-
Why should we care about what one guy is saying about women teaching theology? Because he has a big following. Because influencers are called influencers for a reason- they influence. And when it’s a Christian, or someone professing Christianity, they can influence the faithful for good or for ill. It’s incumbent upon us to discern which.
Then during the summer of 2023, someone with a bigger following than Partridge, Lori Alexander, “The Transformed Wife” AKA @godlywomanhood, passed Dale’s teaching on to her female followers, which number in the millions.
Lori Alexander
Women began coming to me with this, asking What? Why? Huh?
The disruption lasted all June and July, and still iterates now in August. The always articulate, the always careful, and always thoughtful Chris Hohnholz, came out with his own conclusion to the question ‘Can women teach theology to other women?’
Here is what Chris wrote. I have his permission to repost:
“So, after seeing the kerfuffle surrounding Dale Partridge and his comments regarding women learning theology, I am now listening to part 1 of his podcast on this. Despite his assertions to the contrary, I honestly do not believe this helps his cause.”
“Dale rightly makes a case about the authority structure between husbands and wives (and their daughters) and the authority structure in the church (pastors over congregants, pastoral role reserved to men). However, he then extends that authority to say that women ought ONLY receive certain kinds of theological teaching from ONLY their father, husband, or pastor. That those certain theological teachings are not permitted for women to teach.”
“He also extends to authority of the Christian father over his daughter while she is out of the home, as an adult, unmarried. It his job to shepherd her, or it is ONLY the pastor’s job/authority if there is no Christian father or husband.”
“While this may sound like it has a ring of truth, you have to extend the passages he uses beyond their context to create this scenario. He also tries to distinguish between what he calls “devotional theology” (basic understanding of the gospel, Christian life and application, etc) which all Christians can learn and talk about, from “systematic theology” which is essentially the exclusive realm of pastors, elders, etc, because it is what they need to teach Christians.”
“Dale gives a passing comment that Christians “can” study systematic theology but it isn’t needed for them because that really is more for informing the pastors so they can teach and address things the average Christian doesn’t have to face or have the responsibility to address.”
“And here is where the rubber meets the road. [According to Dale Partridge] Women can teach “devotional theology” to other women but systematic theology is verboten because it is teaching that which is reserved to the role of the pastor, therefore, she is assuming authority that is not hers. This is a massive stretch and not consistent with the teaching of Scripture. Partridge simply is wrong.”
—end Chris Hohnholz comment.
Indeed, the notion that there is such a thing as ‘devotional theology’ vs. ‘systematic theology’ is a tier that Dale has invented then put into the conversation. It does not exist. There is no such thing as devotional theology.
“Devotional theology” is not devotions we might be reading in the morning
When Chris posted his thoughtful and biblical conclusions to the kerfuffle Mr Partridge caused, Dale Partridge replied with a concerning tweet. The story isn’t over. Now, remember that 38-year-old Dale is the President of Reformation Seminary as well as a pastor, author, podcaster, and influencer.
“Chris, I would appreciate you reading this as it is the conclusion of those three episodes on the topic. Naturally, I was working through this topic and episode one is not the most clear representation of my view. But this is. Let me know your thoughts.“
No. Just no. When one is supposed to be a trusted source for the words of God, one does not ‘work out’ one’s theology in public. Leaders are supposed to study and study until coming to a settled conclusion, and THEN assert “This is what God says in His word” or “This is what the Bible means when it says XYZ”. God’s word is precious. It is not to be flung about in public, slippery and amorphous. It is the most solid thing in the universe. We don’t play with it.
A qualification for leaders is that they must be “able to teach”. (1 Timothy 3:2). That mean they should have an ability to communicate the truth of Scripture with clarity. It does not mean the teacher issues successive videos clarifying then clarifying more then clarifying the clarification. It also doesn’t mean he should “work out” his stance and appeal to confusion as the reason for the questions. Indeed, Mr Hohnholz replied,
Chris Hohnholz replied, “You sounded pretty clear to me, sir. And, I pulled these episodes straight from this article. You make clear delineations and make clear statements about realms of authority and who should teach what. I’m already into the second episode and I’m not hearing any significant difference. You are simply asserting more than Scripture commands and are attempting to couch that in terms of what is “ideal.” It would be better for you to simply state you were wrong on this matter, pull the episodes and article, study Scripture without your presuppositions in place and try again. I’m going to be honest with you, I often see A LOT of “I’ve been misrepresented” on this here bird site, so I tend to make it my task to interact directly with a person’s material. The “I know you interacted directly with exactly what I said but it’s still not what I really meant,” is not a good look for you. Take care.”
It is a blessing to have so much Christian material available to us at the touch of a button! But with it comes caution. Satan works his evil everywhere, and he is online too. He influences people and their teaching. As Paul said, false teachings “spread like gangrene“. And if you are a medical professional or a movie watcher of old westerns, you know how fast gangrene spreads. FAST.
Tips for following people online
Be influenced well, not poorly.
What to watch out for online: people whose positions change frequently, one moment they are Amillennial and the next they are posmillennial and the next they are dispensational. Not that people can’t change, RC Sproul changed from old earth to young earth, John MacArthur changed from believing that Jesus was temporarily subordinate to God to permanently subordinate to God. But these big changes in doctrine come with an explanation, and a lot of thought and prayer after years. And they didn’t “work it out” online in public.
Watch out for people who claim they are leaders but are unteachable and uncorrectable. These people are often not humble, either.
Watch out for people who are always and constantly involved in some controversy, or worse, starting one. The truth will stir up controversy, but with discernment you can detect the difference between someone starting one to get clicks, and someone who has controversy thrust upon them due to speaking God’s light to a dark world.
Watch out for influencers who seem unattached to a church or unaccountable to their pastor. If they are a Seminary Professor, they are accountable to the Trustee Board. Many famous female celebrity teachers are loose cannons who seem unattached to any church or accountability structure.
On the positive side, watch for: men who are thoughtful and who avoid ‘hot takes’. Who avoid jumping into the fray. They are measured and calm, remembering that they represent Christ. Men who are solid in doctrine, yet attentive to other positions (if even just to be gracious). Men who use a lot of scripture in their posts or tweets. Men who are loving to their wives online, praising them and being kind.
Ladies, I hope you glory in His word and study it with joy. All of it. It is ALL there to edify you and is profitable for correction, reproof, and growth to do every good work!
We worship an orderly God, whose prophecies, whose seasons, whose mankind progresses according to His will. What a blessing it is to know we submit to a God who is perfect, whose mighty hand is outstretched to make Himself known and His works, including the animal world, are a wonder.
Below is a poem by Kay Cude. Right-click to enlarge in new tab. Or read below-
“Foamy crystal drops of damp, and he alights with ease; to rest upon a liquid bed, his heart content and pleased; To linger there and end his day, the journey hard and long; the banks call out to lay upon, his heart by rest made strong.”
1There is an appointed time for everything. And there is a time for every matter under heaven— 2A time to give birth and a time to die; A time to plant and a time to uproot what is planted. 3A time to kill and a time to heal; A time to tear down and a time to build up. Ecclesiastes 3:1-3
I love to read the Puritans. Darrell Harrison, Dean of Digital Platforms at Grace To You Media, recommended this book, so I took a look.
It’s The Wiles of Satan, by the previously unheard of Puritan William Spurstowe. DB Harrison said:
“Of all the Puritan books I’ve read, I have to say this little gem, “The Wiles of Satan,” by the relatively unknown William Spurstowe, is among the best. @RHB_Books.“
RHB is Reformation Heritage Books. The Publisher is Digital Puritan Press. It was out of stock at RHB but Amazon had it by the same publisher. Here is the book blurb from Amazon:
“Like it or not, every Christian is engaged in a fierce and high-stakes battle with Satan. In this enlightening book, Puritan pastor William Spurstowe succinctly illustrates from 2 Corinthians 2:11 (“…lest Satan should get an advantage of us—for we are not ignorant of his devices”) his premise: that “Satan is full of devices, and studies arts of circumvention, by which he unweariedly seeks the irrecoverable ruin of the souls of men.” Spurstowe explains how Satan’s long experience and single-minded determination make him such a formidable adversary. He then proceeds to methodically expose, explain, and disarm nearly two dozen common traps that Satan has used to ensnare every generation of the unwary. Finally, he prescribes ten helpful remedies or antidotes that can be used to counter even the most tempestuous temptation.”
“William Spurstowe (1605–1666) was a Presbyterian pastor and member of the Westminster Assembly; he served the Parliament of Richard Cromwell. Originally published in 1666, this classic treatise has been carefully prepared to benefit a new generation of Christian readers. Archaic language has been gently modernized, and dozens of helpful footnotes have been added to aid the reader. This edition includes a biographical preface, Scripture index, and review questions designed to guide group discussion or personal reflection.”
I had just written about demons the other day, since our elder is going through Matthew and we came to the Gadarene Demoniac passage. People are fascinated with satan and his unholy angels, AKA demons. The passage in Matthew 8 about the Gadarene demoniac is always astonishing when I read it. Our church elders are preaching through Matthew and we got to that passage in Matthew 8:28-34.
It’s interesting to study demons, but I offer two cautions: 1) many websites are also fascinated with the subject but tend to the sensational instead of the biblical, and 2) though it’s a biblical subject, satan would like nothing better than to ensnare you into a focus on him instead of on Jesus. Keep your eyes fixed upon Jesus.
I enjoyed CS Lewis’ “The Screwtape Letters“. I am not a fan of Lewis at all, and the only book I liked of his was Screwtape. THAT was a masterpiece, I thought. It recounts an elder demon teaching a younger one how to entice, harass, and otherwise tempt a targeted Christian. Lewis’ insight into temptation and the demonic realms was uncanny.
If you are interested in the subjects of Angelology and Demonology, Reformation Heritage Books has some for you.
–Angels: When Heaven Meets Earth by Tim Chester. –Unseen Realities: Heaven, Hell, Angels and Demons by RC Sproul. –The Scripture Revelations Respecting Good & Evil Angels by Richard Whately. This is out of stock but it may come back into stock, or find it at another online bookseller. -Also out of stock is What the Bible Teaches About Angels by Roger Ellsworth. –Spiritual Warfare: A Biblical and Balanced Perspective by Borgman & Ventura.
I offer these to you because RHB is a trusted resource. Anything on the topic of angels, demons, and spiritual warfare tends to draw a fringe crowd loaded with unbiblical notions and bad advice.
Anyway when I finish The Wiles of Satan I’ll let you know how it was. Meanwhile, keep reading! The Bible first, devotionals, and edifying books from solid authors.
Scripture: The Cleansing of Joshua the High Priest (Israel)
“Then he showed me Joshua the high priest standing before the angel of the Lord, and Satan standing at his right hand to accuse him. 2And the Lord said to Satan, “The Lord rebuke you, O Satan! The Lord who has chosen Jerusalem rebuke you! Is not this a brand plucked from the fire?” 3Now Joshua was standing before the angel, clothed with filthy garments. 4And the angel said to those who were standing before him, “Remove the filthy garments from him.” And to him he said, “Behold, I have taken your iniquity away from you, and I will clothe you with pure vestments.” 5And I said, “Let them put a clean turban on his head.” So they put a clean turban on his head and clothed him with garments. And the angel of the Lord was standing by. (Zechariah 3:1-5)”
Commentary: Matthew Henry’s Concise Commentary
Zechariah 3:1-5
Guilt and corruption are great discouragements when we stand before God. By the guilt of the sins committed by us, we are liable to the justice of God; by the power of sin that dwells in us, we are hateful to the holiness of God. Even God’s Israel are in danger on these accounts; but they have relief from Jesus Christ, who is made of God to us both righteousness and sanctification. Joshua, the high priest, is accused as a criminal, but is justified. When we stand before God, to minister to him, or stand up for God, we must expect to meet all the resistance Satan’s subtlety and malice can give. Satan is checked by one that has conquered him, and many times silenced him.
Those who belong to Christ, will find him ready to appear for them, when Satan appears most strongly against them. A converted soul is a brand plucked out of the fire by a miracle of free grace, therefore shall not be left a prey to Satan. Joshua appears as one polluted, but is purified; he represents the Israel of God, who are all as an unclean thing, till they are washed and sanctified in the name of the Lord Jesus, and by the Spirit of our God. Israel now were free from idolatry, but there were many things amiss in them.
There were spiritual enemies warring against them, more dangerous than any neighbouring nations. Christ loathed the filthiness of Joshua’s garments, yet did not put him away. Thus God by his grace does with those whom he chooses to be priests to himself. The guilt of sin is taken away by pardoning mercy, and the power of it is broken by renewing grace. Thus Christ washes those from their sins in his own blood, whom he makes kings and priests to our God.
Those whom Christ makes spiritual priests, are clothed with the spotless robe of his righteousness, and appear before God in that; and with the graces of his Spirit, which are ornaments to them. The righteousness of saints, both imputed and implanted, is the fine linen, clean and white, with which the bride, the Lamb’s wife, is arrayed, Re 19:8. Joshua is restored to former honours and trusts. The crown of the priesthood is put on him. When the Lord designs to restore and revive religion, he stirs up prophets and people to pray for it.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~end~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I love the artist Lars Justinen’s rendering of the new garment. He captured the expression on the sinner’s face- wonder, shame, joy….you can practically see the man’s hands shaking as he is clothes in clean robes. Jesus is so great!!! He will clean Israel and He cleaned US!!
It’s wedding season when so many young women get married. The flurry of bridal showers, wedding planning, caterers, dress fittings. Then the big day comes, it’s a high that a woman does not soon forget.
It does all go by fast, the day is a blur, but a happy one. Everything is fresh, new, dewy promises and hugs and handshakes and assurances and vows.
And then if they honeymoon, after the honeymoon’s over they return and sink into life. The routine of working, cleaning, cooking, chatting, fighting, resenting, making up. Repeat.
If a married biological biological woman and a man (for there is no other kind of marriage) are not saved by the blood of Christ what you have in marriage is the close proximity of two sinners competing for dominance of their own sin nature. In the case of non-saved couples, marriage is hard, one of the hardest things on earth, because you must not only mortify your own sin, but submit to one another.
Both saved and unsaved people intuitively understand that marriage is hard. When coming across a married couple that have stayed together for 30, 40, 50 years, they are looked at like a mythological creature. We are gazing upon a griffin or a unicorn. I often hear people wonderingly ask a long-term married couple, “What’s the secret?”
I remember that myself. We were visiting an old Italian nonnie in Providence Rhode Island. She wasn’t saved. They were 50 years married. The husband came ambling through, the wife playfully joked with her hubby and they had a brief moment of teenager-y interaction ending with a quick kiss. It could not have been any cuter than two kittens playing. We stared in wonder, as if we were at a zoo, gazing at them through glass, the placard beside it stating “Long-term Married Couple in Love. Species: Human. Habitat: Providence, RI.”
One of us in the group asked, “What’s the secret to a long marriage?” We breathlessly awaited the pronouncement, the answer to the key of life from someone who had unlocked it.
She took a deep breath, aimed a crooked, arthritic finger at us and said slowly, “You have to overlook a lot of things.”
We nodded sagely and let the moment have its moment, before resuming our conversation.
I got married when I was 22. The progression I had been taught to follow for a life plan was graduate high school, go to college, then get a graduate degree, get married, get a house, and have a career in academia. I was on that track. I was not saved yet.
I’d graduated from college the year before, my fiancé and I moved in together, spent the next year establishing ourselves in our city finding jobs etc. I became a substitute teacher (my ultimate goal was to earn a Ph.D and teach college, so teaching in an elementary school was a good first step while I saved up money for grad school). He wanted to be an engineer. We also spent the year preparing for the wedding.
The day came and I was happy. I really was. Yet I knew deep down this was not the man for me, but I had an idol of marriage and I stuck to it rigidly. I wanted the love and security I thought a marriage would provide- all on its own. I thought that stepping through the threshold of the marriage temple, that THEN everything would be all right. Automatically.
It wasn’t.
What we had were two sinners with competing self-interests. I became a golf widow pretty quickly (his idol was sports). He was gone all Sunday so I took that time to prepare my lesson plans for school. I had earned my teaching certificate and was teaching first grade.
Saturdays we had to spend at the in-laws. Every Saturday without fail, the bulk of the day at mom-in-law’s. I didn’t mind visiting, but it was the “have to” I found objectionable. I hated that he was tied to his mother’s apron strings and didn’t have the courage to say “My wife and I are having a picnic this Saturday…going to a movie…taking a drive to the mountains…” Nope. His mom came first, not his wife. We weren’t saved, so he didn’t know Genesis 2:24, that “For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Our marriage had 2 flesh, but one of them wasn’t mine.
We always piled in to the in-law’s living room and and there was never a question that every Saturday of our lives we’d would be doing this. The work week was, well, work. We never had time to ourselves.
A few years went on. Even though we were not saved, we had followed normal wedding protocol. Our wedding was in a Methodist church and there was a minister and the marriage vows. One of those vows was ‘forsaking all others’.
He didn’t.
but I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except for the reason of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery; and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery. (Matthew 5:32)
He found someone else at work, fell in love with her, had an affair. Deep down I knew. His attention had dwindled. His temper was shorter. Always a nervous fellow, he was more antsy than ever before. He just didn’t want to be here. Emotionally, he wasn’t.
Adultery is a devastating sin. The Bible tells us that sexual sins are bad.
but I say to you that everyone who looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:28).
When you have two saved and forgiven sinners you have the help of the Holy Spirit to subdue the natural sin nature in us that wants its worldly lusts. Subdue the sin that wants to nurse bitterness. Subdue the sin that wants its selfish desires fulfilled. Subdue the sin that doesn’t know what it means to serve, sacrifice, and truly love. And it’s still hard!
Do not lust in your heart for her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes. (Proverbs 6:25)
Since a marital couple is one flesh, when one of them rips away to include an interloper into the marriage, the wound is deep, deep. Is the fleshly satisfaction of uniting with an adulteress or an adulterer worth it? No. There is shame, and conscience-pricking, and anger, and if there are children, they are wounded. Even if the sin isn’t caught out, it’s still a terrible sin.
In my case, he divorced me and married his lover. I am glad they found love, though neither was saved. They stayed together 30 years, until he died. But what is it to satisfy a lust, to declare one’s worldly love to and with another worldling, but forfeit your soul? I do not believe he ever repented and was saved. If not, he is paying for his adultery and divorce for all eternity. I am so grief stricken over that. Was 30 years of happiness worth it compared to an eternity of punishment for defying God?
It’s a mess and a tragedy. Don’t cheat. It’s awful.
Demons are unholy angels. These are the ones who followed satan into rebellion. This occurred sometime between Genesis 1:31 when God declared everything “very good”, and Genesis 3:1 when the serpent was not very good but was the most crafty beast of the field. His fall is described in Isaiah 14:12–14 and Ezekiel 28:12–18. The ones who didn’t follow satan and remained as God’s servants are the holy angels.
Unholy angels, AKA demons, don’t just destroy humans and oppose God, they also oppose the holy angels. We learn in Jude 1:9 that Michael the archangel was disputing with the devil, arguing about the body of Moses. (Jude 1:9).
Holy angels and unholy angels war with each other too. An angel was dispatched to bring a message to Daniel, but an unholy angel stood in his way for 21 days. He was only overcome when archangel Michael was sent to help, so the holy angel could go on his way.
So we have seen the unholy angels inciting war in heaven (Revelation 12:7), messing with the activity of the second heaven, and they trouble the earth. They really exist everywhere.
The passage in Matthew 8 is always astonishing when I read it. The passage I’m talking about is about the Gadarene demoniac. Our church elders are preaching through Matthew and we got to the Demoniac passage in Matthew 8:28-34.
Two men were demon possessed, or in biblical terms, “demonized.” That means, as we can see from the text, a demon or demons were literally inside their body. Their biology responded to the demons to the extent that the man screamed, cut his own skin, and broke chains they used to try and bind him. Humans do not have the strength to break iron chains regularly, and they don’t have the desire to live naked among the tombs. This kind of living is what the demons desire, to destroy a man and/or make him unfit for human association.
Not all demons are obviously wild and untamable. Some are seemingly calmer but do their evil through words. We know the demon-possessed slave girl with a spirit of Divination, could speak and think. She earned her master much money. She followed Paul around saying, “These men are slaves of the Most High God, who are proclaiming to you the way of salvation.” (Acts 16:17b).
In another case, we learn that a “lying spirit” offered to go into the prophet(s) and entice them-
And Yahweh said, ‘Who will entice Ahab so that he will go up and fall at Ramoth-gilead?’ And one said this while another said that. 21 Then a spirit came forward and stood before Yahweh and said, ‘I will entice him.’ 22 And Yahweh said to him, ‘How?’ And he said, ‘I will go out and be a lying spirit in the mouth of all his prophets.’ Then He said, ‘You shall entice him and also prevail. Go out and do so.’ (1 Kings 22:20-22).
As a side note, this is why we CANNOT tolerate a confirmed false teacher. They are either demonized (their very body hosting the evil entity) or demon-influenced (externally troubled by a demon, as Paul was), and thus, they are full of lies about God and His people. There is no “eating the meat and spitting the bones.” You’re eating lies and poison.
So demons have various methods they employ. Their total aim and goal is to thwart God’s plans and to destroy God’s people. They also enjoy destroying unsaved people. We know all this because John 10:10 says
The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly. (John 10:10)
So far we know that
Demons exist
Demons used to be holy angels but chose to sin with satan
Demons employ various methods to try and thwart God (violent possession, harassing, lying, etc…)
Demons can enter a person or even an animal (the pigs)
Can a Christian be demon-possessed? NO. We have the Holy Spirit inside us, and we are sealed with Him as the guarantee. (2 Corinthians 1:22). Satan or his minion demons can influence us, tempt us like satan did to Jesus in the desert, but they cannot enter us.
Here, Tom Pennington answers that question, posed by David Knight of Exposit the Word:
There is so much more to say about demons, of course. This is was just a short introductory piece. Unholy angels are fascinating, the unseen realms, and their doings. But we keep our focus on Jesus. The demons obey Him. They know who He is – they called him Son of God in Matthew 28:29). They know their ultimate destination. (Luke 8:31). But Jesus is King. He is in control of heaven, the second heaven (the air), and earth. Someday those evil demons will receive their just punishment. Until then, pray to Jesus alone, but be aware they are in the world attempting to sway you from your walk.
Further resources:
Martyn Lloyd-Jones preached about The Devil and the Fallen Angels. It was a part 2 to a previous sermon called “Good Angels”, and part of his Great Doctrines series. Sadly the recording to “The Devil and the Fallen Angels” is lost. It was synopsized here in an essay, and here in Power Points
Ligonier.org 6-min explanation about demons, or read its transcription.
the-end-time.org 