By Elizabeth Prata

I was recently made aware of a youth conference happening this coming January called the CrossCon. Speakers at this conference aimed at 18-25 year olds include David Platt and Kevin DeYoung.

Kevin DeYoung has been a solid pastor, preaching truth for a long time. David Platt has been on a downward trajectory ever since his seminal book Radical was published, since he affirmed dreams of Isa as a legitimate evangelization method, and is currently outed as a wolf in the recent documentary The Real David Platt:The Hijacking of McLean Bible Church.

What is DeYoung doing partnering with Platt at this conference?

If you ever watch any cooking competitions and a chef contestant mixes cheese and seafood, you know it never goes well. Those two ingredients simply do not mix. They taste terrible. Or like our friends the Brits say, “chalk and cheese”, meaning, two things that are completely different from each other.

The Bible calls it discernment.

It’s the same with conferences. Uniting with speakers or musicians of questionable spiritual doctrine dirties the more solid speaker and reduces their religious credibility. It also disobeys God. Such partnering presents a confusion to the less discerning or new in the faith. Last, such ‘unity’ presents a false unity.

We live in the age of “tolerance”. It’s not the tolerance you and I might have grown up with. The Merriam Webster dictionary defines tolerance as

sympathy or indulgence for beliefs or practices differing from or conflicting with one’s own, or : the allowable deviation from a standard

Christians can have sympathy for people who believe in different gods, but we can never indulge them in their wrong beliefs. And any deviation from the standards set by God’s word is not tolerable either.

There is a throng of false teachers whose fetish in teaching is grace only, usually focusing on “love” to an extreme, and never mentioning sin/repentance/wrath. After a decade or more of love-love-love, people have just as twisted understanding of what love is as they do the new version of tolerance. For women, the ‘love’ teaching even drills further down into weird teaching that Jesus is my romantic boyfriend, a type of eros love the Bible never describes.

That, in combination with a lack of ability or willingness to study and understand scripture, has brought forth a horde of folks ready to squash anyone whose understanding on these matters is biblically based on scripture.

This effect of the false teachers’ teaching was brought home to me as I was having conversations on social media about the need to separate from some professing believers at prescribed times is a matter of command and prescription. When you look at the myriad scriptures, there are actually quite a few situations when brethren are supposed to divide from other brethren.

This fact was met with incredulity, horror, and anger as one after another of these women, and some men, pushed back against this notion. Sharing the scriptures does not resolve anything. It often actually makes them angrier. Many simply ignore the shared scriptures and resort to calling names.

So I thought I’d do a study on what the Bible says about our associations with other people and when to leave a brother alone. This is hopefully to show that as with many other circumstances in our earthly life as humans, the Holy Spirit has given us wisdom and understanding about our associations, friendships, and fellowship.

While it seems “unloving” or dare I say “intolerant” to separate from a brother, there are sometimes good reasons for it, as we’ll see.

In many cases, when discerning brethren warn about this or that false teacher, the person will say, “Did you go to him?” meaning, did you have a private conversation with that public teacher before you said anything negative about his or her public teaching? This refers back to Matthew 18. Going to a false teacher prior to critiquing his or her lessons is not necessary, because they are public teachers. They are outside your own church. The Matthew 18 process is church discipline for sinning Christians inside your church. FYI, the Matthew 18 process for sinning church members does end with separation, with an excommunication if the church member is unrepentant and uncorrectable.

It’s baffling to think that naysayers will cling to Matthew 18:15-17 in the first place (‘Did you go to him?’) but avoid the end result of that same process just 3 verses later, which is separation (You’re so mean and intolerant!’).

The individual person’s involvement in this Matthew 18 scenario is in step 1 and 2. When it gets to steps 3 and 4, it is the pastor’s duty to make this judgment call, and the individual sister’s responsibility to submit to the assessment of her leaders in church. The reason for this called-for separation; to prevent sin from spreading.

A little leaven leavens the whole lump of dough. (Galatians 5:9).

In another case of called-for separation, we see in 1 Corinthians 5:9, 11 of Paul that,

I wrote you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people; But now I am writing to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of brother if he is guilty of sexual immorality or greed, or is an idolater, reviler, drunkard, or swindler—not even to eat with such a one.

Paul expected the Corinthians to disassociate with all who said they were brothers but had a consistent pattern of sin, particularly sexual sin. In the culture of the day eating with someone was a sign of acceptance. Therefore if breaking bread with a homosexual, an adulterer, incestuous person, fornicator etc it was a sign that their behavior was accepted by Christians, who otherwise called for holy living.

Paul said that sexual sin was a sin that brethren were not to tolerate, even to the point of breaking fellowship, because as he explains the verses in 1 Corinthians 6:15-19,

The believer’s body is not only for the Lord here and now (v. 14), but is of the Lord, a part of His body, the church (Eph 1:22,23). The Christian’s body is a spiritual temple in which the Spirit of Christ lives, therefore when a believer commits a sexual sin, it involves Christ with a harlot. All sexual sin is harlotry. (John MacArthur Study Bible note.)

So, that’s pretty obvious why we are to separate.

Here is another example regarding the limits of Christian fellowship.

So when you are assembled and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, 5 hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord. (1 Corinthians 5:4-5).

This is the famous case of a man sleeping with his father’s wife. The Corinthians were tolerating it. In today’s parlance, were they trying to “be loving”? Would they think it “mean-spirited” to ostracize this man from their fellowship? Paul pulled no punches with what they were to do.

And of course, we know not to associate with false teachers, as Apostle John instructed in 2 John 1:10 where even participating with the unrepentant sinner for the one who gives him a greeting participates in his evil deeds as verse 11 states

Turning a believer over to satan puts him back into the cold world to be on his own, apart from the care and support of Christian fellowship inside the warmth of the church, as John MacArthur explains in his commentary.

That person has forfeited the right to participation in the church of Jesus Christ, which He intends to keep pure at all costs. MacArthur, Commentary

As always, the goal is reconciliation. Making this shocking move would let the believing sinner know the limits of tolerance. It bears repeating, there are LIMITS to our tolerance for false teaching and for sin in professing believers

We have another example of separation in 2 John 1:8-11.

Here in this epistle John is giving limits to Christian hospitality. We are to separate from people who go beyond the teaching of Jesus. Do not even greet those who teach beyond what is written. Back then hospitality was important because there were no hotels, so traveling teachers lodged with believers.

John isn’t prohibiting people from sharing the Gospel with unbelievers, or even those in cults and false religions. We always want to evangelize. But do remain apart from and do not even welcome those false teachers, because welcoming them to your home affirms their teaching and gives them credibility. Housing and welcoming false teachers who labor in the faith (to deceive followers) would confuse people and offer a massive stumbling block.

In-person housing of itinerant o traveling pastors happens today, as we learned about Robert Morris who stayed over at his friend’s house when traveling, or Steve Lawson who lodged with hospitable friends also. But both are now outed rebels who we sadly learned were behaving in monstrous ways.

But most of us do not host traveling teachers any more like in the Bible days. ‘Do not welcome them into your house’ more often means do not simulcast their speeches into your home, or buy their books and bring them to a women’s study, and so forth.

This separation edict applies also to standing on a stage with obvious false teachers, as John Piper did with Beth Moore and Francis Chan at Passion conference 12 years ago. Or as Piper did with Mark Driscoll 2 years later. Despite hundreds of emails and internet concern that Piper was publicly platforming and supporting Driscoll, Piper unabashedly went ahead. Piper later even said he had no regret. Is there anyone that Piper will separate from? Apparently not. Piper said in his ‘no regret’ interview that he only wished he had been a better friend to Driscoll.

Biblically, a good friend is one who will obey God and separate to display the seriousness of the person’s sin and that there are biblical limits to tolerating it, in hoes that grace will come and re-infuse that person’s life with truth.

And now here is Piper scheduled to speak with Platt at CrossCon, where Platt has affirmed Isa dreams as an evangelizing method, and has been outed in a documentary as being a conniving, thieving, CRT loving liberal who excommunicates people who question Platt’s actions which were contrary to their church’s constitution. (More here).

It might seem “unloving” to say that there comes a point where we don’t offer the Gospel to a lost person but there are even limits to associating with the unsaved.

Do not give what is holy to dogs, and do not throw your pearls before swine, or they will trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces. (Matthew 7:6)

Jesus’ point is that certain truths and blessings of our faith are not to be shared with people who are totally antagonistic to the things of God. … Jesus did not give all of his teaching to everyone who happened to be listening. (Matthew 11:25, 11:11-13). … There will be times when the Gospel we present is absolutely rejected and ridiculed and we make the judgment to turn away and speak no more. MacArthur Commentary

We are given the same admonition in Matthew 10:14 where we are told to shake the dust off our feet and move on.

Even Jesus closed His public ministry at a certain point, after He had given sign after sign and miracle after miracle and taught all the days long, and many were still questioning, demanding, and rejecting. So He closed it down and privately taught only the believers and eventual apostles. After His resurrection He only appeared to believers.

One commenter gives a word of caution though,

But while the indiscriminately zealous have need of this caution, let us be on our guard against too readily setting our neighbors down as dogs and swine, and excusing ourselves from endeavoring to do them good on this poor plea. Jamieson Faussett Brown Bible Commentary

We have seen that with love and discernment, there are times to make a judgment call and separate from people who profess Christ but persist in unrepentant sin, and to separate from even the lost who consistently reject. Against the backdrop of the ‘lovey tolerance’ of today, doing so seems harsh and cruel to those who seemingly have no limit to sin. But do we today care more about the feelings of the unrepentant professing believing rebel than the Savior who died to give us power by the Spirit to slay those sins?

Look at Acts 5:13,

But none of the rest dared to associate with them; however, the people held them in high esteem.

The watching pagans respected the followers of Jesus, but feared to join them. Why? Were they scary? No, they were respected, not feared. The fear came because it was obvious that the followers were serious about sin and hypocrisy in the church. Ananias and Sapphira had just been killed dead in front of everyone in the church. The followers were obviously part of something that was holy and pure. Bystanders respected their witness and were counting the cost of joining. Only serious sin-slayers need apply.

Nowadays people are encouraged to follow Jesus and bring their sin with them.

We love our neighbor in the next pew, yes, but loving that believer doesn’t mean overlooking their sin. Sadly there are times and cases when separation from the believers we associate with is called for. With everything, do so cautiously, in love, and after study and prayer. Some of these situations are pretty clear and others are more gray. Err on the side of love, but remain strong in respecting biblical limits of associations and fellowship. We strive to be strong in both doctrine and life.