Quick take: the answer to the title’s question and conclusion is YES.
Ladies, this is an important concept to understand rightly. If a woman believes she may only teach a certain, limiting set of verses to other ladies, she is limiting herself from knowing Jesus fully (even if she learns about Him from her pastor or her husband). Further, we are charged with making disciples, not homemakers. We are charged with proclaiming the whole counsel of God to one and all, including other women. Limiting one’s self randomly to Titus 2, or Proverbs 31 or Genesis 2:18 is nonsensical.
The Bible says of itself, “All Scripture is inspired by God and beneficial for teaching, for rebuke, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man or woman of God may be fully capable, equipped for every good work.” (2 Timothy 3:16-17). Limiting your sharing of His word with other women to just one or two verses is a rejection of God’s proclamation of the usefulness of His own words.
As RC Sproul used to say “Everyone’s a theologian.” It’s incumbent on us when we proclaim, disciple, or individually learn, that we are absorbing the whole counsel of God and doing so rightly. Here’s Nick-
BY NICK CAMPBELL- The Great Commission is for all Christians and includes the command to “make disciples,” and “teaching them” all that Jesus commanded.
EPrata photo
Aside from explicitly commanding “teaching,” discipleship presupposes teaching from scripture, what it means to be a Christian, Christian truths/doctrine, and what follows: theology.
Most in the latest fad of women can’t teach “academic theology” [a debated category of theology, anachronistically injected into scripture for eisegesis], concede that…
1) Women are included in the Great Commission and 2) Women can share the Gospel.
Theologians have agreed that sharing the Gospel is only the beginning of discipleship, discipleship cannot be reduced to one’s conversion, but it is being taught the faith.
The faith in scripture is doctrine and the ethics that flow from said doctrine.
In either case: the Gospel is a theological message comprised of scriptural truths, and the impartation of the Gospel often involves teaching said truths (doctrine).
To say otherwise is to reduce oneself to something tantamount to “no creed but Christ.”
Women are included in the command to make disciples, and I have yet to see a Christian limit the great commission to men only.
Nick Campbell, ‘Christ is the Cure’ @CITC_org
Women are included in the command to make disciples, and I have yet to see a Christian limit the great commission to men only.
But if women are not to exercise authority over men (particularly in overseer roles, to which I agree), who is left for them to fulfill this command with? Irony abounds in the movement mentioned above.
They posit: what can a woman offer a woman that a man cannot? They state there is no good reason for women <fill in the blank.>
Yet, they are the ones most emphatic that women and men are distinct sometimes to extremes.
Yet, if women and men are distinct in the way posited, then the logical benefit of a woman disciplining or teaching another woman is obvious. Some of this comes out in other teachings by these proponents, where women are told to have women friends because a woman cannot offer the same friendship and connection as a man. It’s logically incoherent.
What is more perplexing is that the movement utilizes the proof text of Titus 2 wherein women are told to “teach” women and that teaching within the full context, as all Christian ethics are, is rooted, grounded, and presupposes Christian truths.
When pressed on whether or not one can teach Christian ethics apart from Christian truth (i.e., baseless behavior modification), they will say no, but say that these women are teaching “biblical womanhood,” not scripture/doctrine/academic theology.
Of course, aside from this category being imposed onto the text to create arbitrary parameters, “biblical” womanhood presupposes biblical instruction on what it means to be a “woman.”
Further, consider the following: -Women are to “teach” women to “submit to their husbands.” -A woman attempts to do so, and the learner asks, “Why?” -How can the “teacher” proceed without appealing to scripture, creation, headship, anthropology, etc.?
The only way for the position to be defensible is for individuals to hold to parameters not found in scripture, “they can teach devotional theology, not academic theology.” [the former is not a formal or widely accepted category, the latter a debated and less utilized category even by most pastors].
EPrata photo
While theological categories are helpful, we cannot interject them into the text for our theological propositions.
Further, while theological categories are helpful, we cannot just disregard the categories established in numerous theological textbooks. On the most basic level, women are teaching (in Titus 2) “practical theology,” which is built upon other categories of theology.
Still, the question is: are women called (or permitted) to impart (I.e., teach) scriptural, doctrinal, ethics rooted in theology to other individuals in any capacity in scripture?
This leads to the following: The most difficult burden for these adherents is producing any scripture that bars women from teaching in any capacity other than in ecclesiastical offices held by men.
She cannot exercise authority “over a man,” are women included in this or are they distinct?
However, if one is going to make a standard (a law/commandment/restriction/holiness code: as they imply women who go beyond “Titus 2” are sinning), they need to have clear scriptural testimony…
To not have such is quite literally to be a Pharisee in adding to the scriptures a tradition to bind the conscience. To do this is to fly directly in the face of the Reformation and what freed men and women from the shackles of extra-biblical commandments.
Lastly, the typical rhetoric of inappropriate settings, “small groups, coffee shops, etc,” is quite bizarre, and quite ironically, women likely discussed scripture and Jesus Christ with other women while in the “workforce” of the 1st century.
Surely the local community centers (synagogues) were places of typical discourse as well! A random limitation on the setting for these commandments, is simply ridiculous.”
A good and clear disclaimer about this thread is that this is not advocating for the overcorrection wherein the great commission qualifies women for the office of pastor/overseer/elder. As I mentioned, I’m in agreement with the traditional understanding of ecclesiastical offices. —end Nick Campbell, Christ is the Cure essay—
Driving to Puyo on what we called “the bus plunge road” so called because even travel agencies had quit using it because the buses would plunge off the road down the Andes. At one point we went under an overhanging rock with waterfall, driving blind for a few seconds. It was so narrow see the construction worker stand off to the side as cars pass.
Sometimes I mourn the lost years of not being able to serve Jesus because I wasn’t saved till age 42. But I know the Lord’s timing is perfect. How he put up with my four decades of sin is an amazing testament to his patience.
I mourned of loss of years serving Jesus when I was in Europe seeing the great cathedrals and the great art- I’d have known the biblical stories behind the David or the Annunciation for example.
But God’s timing is perfect. At least I know those stories now and can praise Him for His work on earth for sinful humans.
In the 1990s I traveled a lot. I spent a month in Ecuador. We spent 4 days in the border town called Puyo adjacent to the rainforest. In the mid 1990s it was like a frontier town in the Old West. A mud street with boardwalk sidewalks, a few businesses, a restaurant and a hotel. Rainforest looming over, its boundary demarcated but always encroaching and striving to recapture the ground it had lost when the village was carved out of the dense foliage.
Doing laundry in Puyo: beat the clothes on the rock, then rinse in the river. EPrata photo
One of the businesses along the main street was a casket company. Apparently it was the thing to create the four corners of the casket concave and install in each corner a garishly painted mini statue of a saint. Then put convex plexiglass over it, forever enclosing the little statue inside its hole to keep watch for the body inside? I guess?
Another guy was building a copper still. We watched his progress over the days we were there. He was building it by hand, hammering the copper himself, a craftsman.
A craftsman hand hammering copper to make a still! EPrata photo
As I recently thought about my time in Ecuador, and our days in Puyo, it occurred to me to look up the distance from Puyo and Arajuno, Jim Elliot and Nate Saint and the others’ camp. In 1952-1956 those men were the famous missionaries making contact for the first time with the violent Amazon tribe called the Aucas. It was 40 miles. Just 40 miles away from where we stayed, the missionaries and their martyrdom had made such an impact for the Lord. I wonder if any of the people we interacted with in Puyo had known the men or were converted by their efforts.
I didn’t know the story of the men who were speared in the jungle just 40 years and 40 miles from where I stayed. I was oblivious to the spiritual battle that had taken place in that spot. I was ignorant of the fallout and whether Christianity had taken root where I was sitting all those days, drinking milky coffee on the verandah and watching the roosters strut up the street. I was just looking at the jungle, watching the copper still get made, and curious about the caskets.
The pagan’s mind is on things of this earth. But we have the mind of Christ. Therefore,
Set your mind on the things above, not on the things that are on earth. (Colossians 3:2)
Sometimes I wonder why the Lord does things the way He does, but I know that His ways are all good. Now that I’m transformed by the grace of God from earthly-thinking pagan to daughter of the Most High with a transformed mind, it all just makes me try and be sure not to miss any opportunities to share Him now that I am saved.
When I published that discernment article exposing some major doctrinal and behavioral issues with The Transformed Wife (Lori and Ken Alexander)’s output, there was quite a bit of reaction. One of the reactions was Lori’s husband Ken messaged me on Facebook. I did not solicit nor expect a personal private message, and not from a married man, no less. As you read the correspondence, please keep in mind that I have no relationship with Mr Alexander, personal or spiritual, I did not invite the messaging, and I tried to cut it off, but he breached that boundary of non-consent.
I have the screenshots.
People who message have a reasonable expectation of privacy. Normally I keep messages private and do not publish messages. (Sometimes I ask permission to publish if a reader has offered a really good thought or blog idea, and I publish if yes or no if they say no). However when Ken contacted me again after I’d asked him not to, all bets were off.
As you read this, keep in mind also that he claims identity in Christ as a Godly man.
So here it all is. Explanation at bottom. I refrained from editorializing as much as I could and tried to give you just the facts. You decide. I might have erred in replying. My goal and intent was to try and get him to see the issues and hopefully repent. I tried. Maybe that was my mistake. Again, you decide.
MESSAGE #1 from Ken Alexander. His wife had already blocked me after 1 engagement which she initiated.I believe she blocked me because I’d asked her if she had repented of her false teaching of Pelagianism. Lori never answered that. Neither did Ken when I asked him. I did not solicit this contact.Ken wrote right off the bat that I’m influenced by satan. So much for pleasant contact:
Hi Elizabeth,
After reading your article on Lori I could not recognize my own wife by the time you were done.
I found it interesting that you claim she is unteachable, yet when she makes her position clear on Original Sin in a post you gloss it over as “too little too late.”
We raised four wonderful Children together with strong and reasonable discipline… and they are all secure Believers in Christ with highly successful lives and families of their own. You’re just dead wrong on this idea of “hitting.” It’s spanking and there is very little cold in So Cal. How did you do with your family and kids?
Lori says that some time back you praised her ministry and agreed with her, yet somehow you caught Satan’s whisper and have been quite undiscerning here. You sound like a post from the trolls you are listening to.
She is full of love and grace, but hard hitting because she is goes up against the strong influence of feminism. You are correct that she purposely avoids the teaching the man’s role to keep women focused on what God calls them to do without pointing a finger at their disobedient husband they are called to win.
Lori’s ministry is not perfect, just as you have now proven that yours is not either. But many women write her regularly with wonderful stories of changed lives and marriages, proof that God is using her and blessing her God given wisdom from the Word. We don’t expect everyone to agree with her… even I don’t 100% 🙂. But when you attack one of the few godly women teaching the vital principles of Biblical Womanhood you do a disservice to the advancement of the Kingdom of God. She is teaching things that you and many other women cannot teach because she walks the talk with her life and love of our Jesus.
Ken wrote again before I even saw his 1st message and could reply:
Ken’s MESSAGE #2
I just read this by you and wonder if the Lord wasn’t telling you something, yet you projected it upon others without careful reflection for the words you just wrote against another sister in Christ?
It’s something to ponder in the Spirit as you asked others to do the same. 🙂
“It is humbling to publicly repent of something done in sin or taught incorrectly in His name. It is humbling to eat crow. But pride should not be so strong that it prevents us from kneeling down and saying “I was wrong. Forgive me.”
My reply to the above Ken-messages #1 & 2:I wrote-
Lori’s ministry is exactly as I described. The measure of a ministry is not how many people are writing in, but how doctrinally correct it is. She is an obviously troubled woman dwelling in error, and leading many astray. You have your part in that. Your influences such as the Pearls are atrocious, and this error has flowed down into your own ministry to your wife and her errant ministry to women. Her insistence that the Pearls, Partridge, and Gothard are worthy models, and her excuses for lack of sexual boundaries with wives and lack of boundaries in child punishment is appalling. Repent of those things and I’ll listen.
The Pharisees were ‘hard hitting’ too, and they were mostly right on their doctrine but went beyond by adding and adding, and by the guilt (‘millstone’) laid upon the neck of the sheep. You need to repent too for your part in the devastating millstones, and graceless absolutes you teach your wife to lay on women.
As far as the Original Sin controversy, I asked Lori if she has repented of her previous stance that we are not born as sinners but only BECOME sinners when we sin. It was not answered. HAVE you repented of that?
Your statement that Lori is one of “few godly women teaching the vital principles of Biblical Womanhood” is evidence of how skewed your vision has become. Lori is NOT one of the few women teaching this. You are NOT a bulwark. (And she doesn’t even teach it correctly or evenly).
She should look at gracious and doctrinally correct models such as The Women’s Hope Show from The Master’s Seminary, A Word Fitly Spoken podcast (Spreeman & Lesley), Open Hearts in a Closed World online conference and all women associated with that, DebbieLynne Kespert, Susan Heck, and MANY others who believe as you and Lori do, but who have a balanced view of scripture, and a FULL Titus 2:5 wisdom that includes being “sensible, … kind” but are missing from Lori’s online presence.
I have prayed for her and I do hope the Lord will graciously lift the scales from your and her eyes. Something to ponder and I am not being snarky, I am totally grieved over this. Consider, repent, and then we can talk some more. I’m always willing to listen.
Ken’s message #3, replying to my above: [Editor’s Note- Yes their lives ARE an open book. Lori and Ken have kept a blog for 12 years with hundreds of thousands of words written, 6 years’ worth of hours of video, and thousands of tweets. Yes their lives ‘are an open book,’ therefore there’s much material available to evaluate in order to make a solid assessment of their lives.] Ken wrote:
Elisabeth, I have no idea who you are really, but our lives are open book. Your comment “She is an obviously troubled woman dwelling in error, and leading many astray,” is so very far from the truth.
Lori is a woman whose heart is set completely upon the Lord. She has proven herself to her husband and to her family, friends and online friends as a woman of grace, peace, joy and full of the fruits of the Spirit. How can you make such an awful and incorrect assessment of her and expect me to take you seriously?
Ken then messaged again before I could reply. By now I’m getting the idea he lacks patience and self-control. Ken’s message #4-
If you want to dialogue, pick one or two issues you believe she is “so wrong about” that her errors are worthy of you trying to destroy her ministry over… and let’s talk about them. There are no grave errors in her teaching, just a difference of opinion on things we cannot have a definitive answer about.
You cannot prove from the scriptures that woman should be teaching doctrine and theology. WE know for certain it must not be from the pulpit, but where do you get the authority for women to teach other women outside of Titus 2?
So you and Lori disagree on something… that is not grounds to disqualify her God given ministry.
Child discipline… you know nothing about our child discipline but for a few stories from the trolls you disagree with. You are welcome to disagree, but you are not welcome to mischaracterize the facts that you do not possess. There were no freezing children that Christmas morning, and the discipline was appropriate and well received. A story we all laugh about including the kids. Yet you want to portray it as wring and grounds for disqualification of a ministry?
My question to you is why did you lie about what I wrote to you? You attacked Lori on at least 10-12 things and I challenged you on 3 of them. Yet you write on your page that I challenged you on “everything.” That is not true… why tell falsehoods?
The pattern seems clear to me that you are one who God keeps telling you to repent of your attacks on others, show kindness and grace, yet you have done nothing of the kind yourself. Speaking of Pharisees… you might consider talking the log out of your eye before trying to remove the specks from others.
I have not read any of the rest of your stuff, but I understand that you can be ruthless in your writing, betraying your own stated purpose: “Writing ministry of The End Time, by Elizabeth Prata, Exalting name of Jesus through Christian essays.”
Please prayerfully consider the words my Spirit has given for yours. We are all about trying to build up the kingdom of God, and Lori’s ministry will not be perfect… neither yours. But as far as I know we are on the same team Jesus.
‘You’re a ruthless liar’… ‘We build up the kingdom of God’. Bit of a disconnect .Photo by nega on Unsplash
My reply to Ken’s message #4. I kept it short thinking he’d said all that needed to be said and I was done too.
Thanks. I ask you to do the same. Have a pleasant day.
(He gave it a thumbs up in reply)
Ken’s message #5: out of the blue hours later. I had not replied.
Some of the things you write must be a joke: “I wrote about how Lori’s insistence on not teaching anything except home economics from Titus 2 (a stance which, even then, lacks several aspects of the verse, such as kindness, sensibility, reverence, etc).”
Lori has not only taught on all these subjects extensively but she has a book out with a chapter on each one.
You really need to find the Spirit here. I have never heard her equate Titus 2 with Home Economics. Now your just making up lies.
Mark Jay Goebel/Getty Images
Obviously I’d get nowhere with a man who has that little self-respect and that much anger, to think himself a Christian and called me a troll, a liar, a joke, making up lies listening to satan, not walking the walk, so much ad hominem… but not an ounce of self-reflection. I’d had enough: My reply to Ken Message #5.
Please do not contact me again. And repent of your rough mouth. “For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murders, acts of adultery, other immoral sexual acts, thefts, false testimonies, and slanderous statements.” Mt 15:19
Ken disrespected my boundary and in a shocking lack of self-control, contacted me again: Ken message #6:
It’s interesting how often the Spirit gives you thoughts that you should be applying to yourself, yet you ignore them. May He open up your hardened heart to see what you are doing is not glorifying to Him.
I think we are on the same Team Jesus…. I sure hope so.
My reply to unasked for Ken Message #6. I knew he’d be looking to see what I’d say so I waited until the little circle showed he had read my reply below, then I blocked him.
“BLOCKED and REPORTED for HARASSMENT”
PS: I tried to find the Facebook information on harassment but had a hard time finding it, and when I finally did and read it, decided his correspondence didn’t rise to the level of harassing. He was just more of an annoyance.
—–end correspondence—–
The reference to the children and the hitting and the cold was a story Lori had published about a Christmas morning when she came downstairs to see her 1, 3, 5, 7 year olds had opened up every single present. She was “so upset” and began hitting her kids with her slipper hard enough to “let them know she was clearly angry”. Running upstairs to Ken he came down and put all of them outside on the porch to them the shutting out of the Garden of Eden, so the 1 year old and the others “could ponder their sin.” Later Ken relished the memory by saying they were ‘so cute all lined up out there.’ Ken and Lori are careful nowadays to say ‘swat’ or ‘spank’ instead of hit or beat. He dislikes when I say “hit”.
Anyway I wanted the messages to be public so it would be transparent, not only his behavior, but mine too. So you can decide. A journalist puts the information out there in the most credible and factual way possible, and so that the reader can make her own assessment.
As a journalist, I am familiar with how people act when their worldview is challenged. I know what happens with some, who, when presented with facts contrary to their long-held opinion, act up. I’m used to people like Ken Alexander.
But the issue is: he is half of the Transformed Wife’s ministry He is an overseer of it, contributing author to it, and ultimate teacher within it. A student will go no higher than his teacher, so, my goal is to present information that clearly shows that the Transformed Wife’s ministry is not healthy. Ken and Lori Alexander should not be followed.
My goal, sole goal, is to present information about this self-stated ‘ministry’ of Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, which is partnered by Ken Alexander, that demonstrate that the two of them are to be marked and avoided as false teachers. Their issues, both behavioral and doctrinal, give a clear picture that their material should not be consumed. Stay away.
Writing in the mid-1500s, John Foxe was living in the midst of intense religious persecution at the hands of the dominant Roman Catholic Church. In graphic detail, he offers accounts of Christians being martyred for their belief in Jesus Christ, describing how God gave them extraordinary courage and stamina to endure unthinkable torture.
From the same link, the book’s purpose was fourfold:
Showcase the courage of true believers who have willingly taken a stand for Jesus Christ throughout the ages, even if it meant death,
Demonstrate the grace of God in the lives of those martyred for their faith,
Expose the ruthlessness of religious and political leaders as they sought to suppress those with differing beliefs,
Celebrate the courage of those who risked their lives to translate the Bible into the common language of the people.
The Fourth Persecution, Under Marcus Aurelius Antoninus, A.D. 162
Engraving by Michael Burghers, from his book ‘The Life of S. Polycarp, Bishop of Smyrna’ c 1685
Polycarp, who was a student of the Apostle John and the overseer of the church at Smyrna, heard that soldiers were looking for him and tried to escape but was discovered by a child. After feeding the guards who captured him, he asked for an hour of prayer, which they gave him. He prayed with such fervency that his guards said they were sorry they were the ones to capture him. Nevertheless, he was taken before the governor and condemned to be burned at the market place.
After his sentence was given, the governor said to Polycarp, “Reproach Christ and I will release you.”
Polycarp answered, “Eighty and six years have I served him, and he never once wronged me; how then shall I blaspheme my King, Who has saved me?”
At the stake to which he was only tied, but not nailed as usual, since he assured them he would stand immovable. As the dry sticks around him were lit, the flames rose up and circled his body without touching him. The executioner was told to pierce him with a sword, which he did. Upon being pierced, a great quantity of blood gushed out and put out the fire. Although is Christian friends asked to retrieve the body so it could be buried, the enemies of the Gospel insisted that it be burned in the fire, which was done.
“Rendering service with a good will as to the Lord and not to man,” (Ephesians 6:7)
My prayer: ‘Lord, thank You for the example of the martyrs, who were living, breathing examples of Christ-likeness unto death. Polycarp’s hospitality, prayers, and steadfastness under the most extreme pressure was an example to the pagans around him and is an example to us today. Thank you for the blood-bought opportunity to go to a worship service, the blood-bought privilege of carrying a bible to that place, and the inexpressible privilege of prayer. May we all proclaim Christ boldly, echoing Polycarp’s words, that we shall not blaspheme our King, Who saved us.’
Sister, I hope you are eating solid food in your walk with Christ. If you have been saved for a while but still regard the Bible as too deep, can’t understand it, and don’t get much out if it, this is a problem.
“Concerning him we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull of hearing. For though by this time you ought to be teachers, you have need again for someone to teach you the elementary principles of the oracles of God, and you have come to need milk and not solid food. For everyone who partakes only of milk is not accustomed to the word of righteousness, for he is an infant. But solid food is for the mature, who because of practice have their senses trained to discern both good and evil.” (Hebrews 5:11-14).
It is critically important for every believing man, woman, youth, and child to be bathed in the word constantly. And not just head knowledge, though that is where the transforming begins- the mind. (Romans 12:2). But we also need to take what we know and apply it to our lives.
Otherwise the babe in Christ is at risk-
“Beware of the false prophets, who come to you in sheep’s clothing, but inwardly are ravenous wolves.” (Matthew 7:15)
How can you be wary of something if you don’t know what it is or what it looks like? If you were never taught what a wolf was, you’d be likely to think it was a dog and go up and pet it!
We are in an evil and corrupt time, when abominable demons stalk the people of the world, when satan and his masquerading minions do all they can to deceive you, when spies are entering the church to put you back into bondage, – And you are still on milk?
“Although satan and his minions know they can never destroy your salvation, they will do everything under their power to destroy your enjoyment of that salvation.”
~Sinclair Ferguson, Ligonier course, “Union with Christ”
One way they destroy your enjoyment of His salvation is to enslave you like the Pharisees did and bind you with rules. Another is to draw you away from good teaching and instill in your mind false teaching that clouds your vision of who Jesus actually is and gives you a different picture of His character.
Mainly, absorbing His word should be a delight! It is refreshing to be washed by the word, to dive into its jewel-like beauty and its endless complexity but its truths so graciously illuminated by the indwelling Spirit! We glory in His word and are jubilant when we graduate from milk to meat! For we know we are seeing Jesus more clearly, and we can then confidently turn around and extend a hand to those on milk and help them to rise in understanding of it! ALL to have a closer relationship with Jesus through His word.
We are heavily encouraged to feast on the meat of the word.
“Milk does a body good”, but meat sustains you! Get on the meat!
I do not recommend Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife’s ministry
The TRUE transformation of a woman from a non-believer to a believer is the most beautiful miracle of our day or any day. The transformation of a justified woman into a Titus 2 woman, whether married or NOT married, whether she has children or NO children, is also a beautiful thing.
I wrote a critique of Lori Alexander The Transformed Wife AKA @godlywomanhood. It seemed needed.
After interacting with Lori a few times and having read some of her recent statements, I also wrote several other essays that were rebuttals to things she has taught. They are listed below.
During some interactions with Lori (and her husband Ken), I discovered that though it’s one of the Titus 2 mandated qualities, kindness is not in her vocabulary. Also that she is unteachable (lacks humility). Here, I wrote about the importance of women to engage in humble, self-examination- We All Have a Ministry
Sadly, Lori’s version of biblical womanhood is a Hyper-patriarchy that’s not biblical and not a good example of how to live a godly, womanly life.
I wrote about how Lori’s insistence on not teaching anything except home economics from Titus 2 (a stance which, even then, lacks several aspects of the verse, such as kindness, sensibility, reverence, etc) and this has skewed her worldview to an extent that 2 Peter 3:16 warns about- Balance in our theology is important
Something that Lori Alexander The Transformed Wife often does, is make a statement that is her opinion, and is so broad-brush that it’s actually an overgeneralization, then she argues within the overgeneralization while never providing a source. She overgeneralizes so frequently this has caused me to look into what overgeneralizing is. It is a cognitive issue. I encourage you to spot these when she makes these broad-brush statements.
Here is a 2 tweet thread on it, with a definition of overgeneralizing. “Overgeneralizing is a distorted way of thinking or cognitive distortion which results in wrong or misconstrued assumptions. Often it’s described as making a broad assumption about something without much evidence or data to back up that assumption.” Quote from Be Well Counseling.
Lori makes a statement that is really opinion but disguises it as fact, and never provides a source.
Here is another definition: “Overgeneralizing is a cognitive distortion, or a distorted way of thinking, that results in some pretty significant wrong assumptions.” (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy of LA)
Here is a 2-tweet thread I did on Twitter showing an example of a recent overgeneralizing statement Lori made: “Public Schools were created so women could be in the workforce”. No. This is wrong and so easily provable.
I’d also pointed out that Lori misuses statistics, or she doesn’t understand statistics well enough, and presents flawed arguments to make her narrow points. Here, she had said that “25% of women are on anti-depressants” then argued the point based on her misstatement.
In fact, the study from which she got the number said that 25% of women over 60 (Lori’s demographic) are on the drug. Only 10% of women 18-39 (child bearing years) are on it. She’d made an overgeneralization from the misstated statistic then tied in the fact that the reason so many women are on antidepressants is because they don’t submit to their husbands and they work outside the home.
Here, her overgeneralization is that simply asking someone how many kids they’d like is ‘giving into the birth control mentality infecting the country’. There is no possible way Lori knows the mentality of every person who asks that question in the entire country. Then she ties it in to abortion. Big leaps. Unwarranted, and dangerous.
She overgeneralizes and she misuses statistics. Watch out for that.
OTHERS’ Critiques
Bob Jennings at I’ll Be Honest (associated with Paul Washer’s ministry) wrote this in 2010, therefore isn’t a direct critique of Lori Alexander, The Transformed Wife, but it addresses a falsity Lori insists on advising to women: where Lori says women should not go to college and should remain at home till marriage. Here is the article which Mr Jennings addresses this false notion scripturally: Patriarchy vs. Single Women in the Bible
Tim Challies reviewed Debi Pearl’s book Created to be His Help Meet and Michael Pearl’s How to Train Up a Child. His reviews (below) are included here because Lori Alexander The Transformed Wife has said many times it was Debi’s book that was that catalyst for her transformation. She admires these two as spiritual leaders and identifies them as her formative mentors. She quotes them incessantly. Challies was a strong NO on both books:
A Ray of Dawn has a blog titled The Transformed Wife is Dangerous and Wrong. She’s got links and screen shots. I liked her point here: “This is my main issue with Lori – she claims men should be leaders, but doesn’t expect them to actually lead in areas of Godliness. Rather, she insists women coddle their husbands regardless of how they behave, which is the opposite of what the Bible says.”
Gina at Where the Wild Bee Wings has a video series critiquing Lori Alexander The Transformed Wife’s teachings (and more videos on The Duggars, IBLP/Gothard, and the Pearls): (Gina is a nice lady and I agreed with these particular videos, but disagree with Gina’s approach to Christianity, i.e. she’s not attending a church, and recently claimed Jesus appeared to her in a vision. But the Lori/Pearls/Duggar videos are wise).
This Wiki page gives an overall view of Lori’s life in a bio, and highlights that she has made contradictory statements over the years and that some of her personal stories don’t match up. There’s screen shots. Fundamentalist Wiki: Lori Alexander
I am grateful in reverse for Lori, because with my brief interaction with her and her material this May and June, has settled me into a conviction that I, and women who minister, need to be KIND. Kindness is mandated in Titus 2:3-5,
Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored. emphasis mine.
Kindness is in short supply in real life, and online especially. Kindness is a refreshing quality, as of course the other Titus 2 qualities are. In my opinion, Lori is unkind, modeling exactly the thing that DISHONORS Christ within the very verse she camps on for her raison d’etre (reason for being). So for that I’m grateful. Seeing how ugly unkindness is, I can work on my own kindness, and look for it and encourage others when I see it.
I will add other links as I discover them or are forwarded them.
We’ve all read Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to Me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. For My yoke is comfortable, and My burden is light.”
We all know what a yoke is. Even if we don’t live in farming country, we understand the idea that whoever puts a yoke on an animal it means the person is master over that animal. When the master puts a yoke on an animal he will cause the animal to work for him, able to turn it this way or that. The master might make the animal work hard and long, or short and sweet, but he has control over that yoked animal. The animal is ‘owned’.
Left, are the yoke references in the Bible, extending back as early as Leviticus and ending with 1 Timothy. Most are agricultural references.
Yet we also discover in ancient times, the Romans (and others) had a method of subjugating their enemies. When an army conquered an army they had three choices. They could kill them all (a waste of potential human usefulness to the victor), they could keep them as prisoners (hard to feed and house that many), or they could absorb them into their culture’s life. But first, there had to be some kind of ritual to impress upon the vanquished that they were indeed subjects under a master and not at liberty any more.
The Romans would plant two upright spears in the ground and tie a third across it, kind of low. They would strip the conquered to their underclothes, and make them go under. This ritual was called “passing under the yoke.” The Latin phrase was sub iugummittere. The Roman alphabet didn’t have a ‘j’, it was ‘i’. This is where we get the English word, subjugate.
Definition subjugate: bring under domination or control, especially by conquest. make someone or something subordinate to.
In earliest examples, Livy tells us, the ritual was used to remove blood guilt from the vanquished, so as to allow them to become slaves then potentially freed-men eventually.
Below is Charles Gleyre’s artistic rendition of the ritual, titled The Helvetians Force the Romans to Pass Under the Yoke. Their victory didn’t last long, the Romans soon arrived with reinforcements and re-conquered the Helvetians (the Swiss). Gleyre takes some liberties here. The yoke new subjects were made to pass under was not an actual animal yoke, it was the three spears.
We see a truer depiction here of a medallion depicting the Romans being sent under the yoke by the Samnites (Pseudo-Melioli, c. 1500). Source Wikipedia
“Pseudo Melioli, Romans Passing Under the Yoke, late 15th – early 16th century, overall (irregular disk, largest diameter): 4.46 cm (1 3/4 in.)
overall (irregular disk, smallest diameter): 4.21 cm (1 11/16 in.)
gross weight: 22.08 gr (0.049 lb.), Samuel H. Kress Collection, 1957.14.201”
When we read Matthew 11:29, Take my yoke upon you, as the Jamieson, Fausset, Brown Commentary says it’s “the yoke of subjection to Jesus”.
In today’s easy peasy salvation and sanctification religion, we often forget the abjectness with which we must come to Jesus. And though our position after salvation is one of an adopted child of God, we still must remember to Fear God, and be Humble. Our position and lifestyle should be one absent of pride, unless it is boastful pride in our perfect Savior and His work. This author, explaining the Roman method of making people pass under the yoke, said,
They had to be brought out of one status into another; they must not be any longer the same beings they were before the deditio; ~W. Ward Fowler, “Passing Under the Yoke” The Classical Review, 1913.
We come to Him bowed, low, naked, and stripped of attachments to this world and of our former identity (as hopeless sinner). We pass under His yoke. Our status changes, we are changed. Rather than staggering under the terrible burden of sin, we now are “glad and lightsome, and said with a merry heart, ‘He hath given me rest by His sorrow, and life by His death,’ said Christian in John Bunyan’s book The Pilgrim’s Progress.
With all this information in mind, hear Jesus say the words again, ‘As opposed to the rough yoke of oppressors in a defeated kingdom, MY yoke is easy. MY burden is light. Pass under it.’
O, but doesn’t it seem heavy when looking at the spears and contemplating the humiliation of repentance! Look at the solders’ faces in Gleyre’s painting! Side-eye, suspicion, skepticism. We sinners think, “No, not THAT! Anything but that!” But yes. Bring yourself low, whether passing under the yoke of Jesus for the first time for salvation, or as you repent of sin even though you walk with Him. His yoke is easy! His burden is light!
Do you need to repent to be saved by the blood of Jesus? Do it! Do not hesitate! If you are born again, do you need to repent for something you have done? Do it! Do not hesitate! Passing under the yoke of Jesus you will find rest for your soul.
Fellow Christians, as the Church Age draws to a close, the anger, mocking and scoffing grows. On internet chat boards, forums, blogs, and e-mails, the unsaved rail and rebel in unloving and unforgiving manner. In real life, they mock and sneer, scorning our beliefs. Oppression, ridicule and persecution grows. Marriages dry up. Children go prodigal. Even witnessing to family members can be heart-breaking, as the most polite response is usually simply a deafening silence or at worst, rifts grow.
All this can bring a Christian down. It can cause one to despair and stumble, as we wonder if the tears that Jesus wipes from our face will be falling in grief because our loved ones are absent in glory.
Remember, Jesus knows this would be the circumstance in the end of days. (The last days are the time between His ascension and His second coming, i.e. now). He inspired Jude to write these words, as comforting to the church then as to us now:
A call to persevere
But you, beloved, must remember the words that were spoken beforehand by the apostles of our Lord Jesus Christ, that they were saying to you, “In the last time there will be mockers, following after their own ungodly lusts.” These are the ones who cause divisions, worldly-minded, not having the Spirit. But you, beloved, building yourselves up on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Spirit, keep yourselves in the love of God, waiting for the mercy of our Lord Jesus Christ to eternal life. And on some, who are doubting, have mercy; and for others, save, snatching them out of the fire; and on others have mercy with fear, hating even the tunic polluted by the flesh.
To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen. (Jude 1:17-25)
The NKJV has these section titles, which I think is a good outline of Jude’s epistle. While we worry about everyone else and that is fine, we should at some point turn our attention to our own walk and Jude does partway down:
Greeting to the Called Contend for the Faith Old and New Apostates Apostates Depraved and Doomed Apostates Predicted Maintain Your Life with God Glory to God Amen.
Dear reader, witness in love, pray for the lost, and persevere. For He is able to keep us from falling, He is the most Worthy One to whom we shall be presented in due time and in great joy.
The past few days has been involved for me with discerning a false ministry, but one that has a quarter of a million followers. Her impact is huge and the negative reverberations of her well-hidden errors will go on to the undiscerning and naïve. For that I feel prayerfully grief-stricken and have a deep concern for young ladies in this ever-darkening culture over whom they follow and what dark webs they may get caught up in.
One thing that caught my attention that I have been pondering in the calming-down aftermath here in my little corner of the world, is humility and teachability.
The more popular a teacher grows, the more chance there is for him or her to become prideful. It’s just the way of human flesh. God knows this. It is exactly why He said for new believing men not to become leaders, due to the temptation to become conceited-
and not a new convert, so that he will not become conceited and fall into the condemnation of the devil. (1 Timothy 3:6).
But the moment people start noticing our ministry is just the moment we need more humility.
So now I can hear the replies in your mind. ‘But I don’t HAVE a ministry!’
My reply to young ladies, married ladies, mothers, older ladies, is that we ALL have a ministry. It might not be codified. It might not have a name. It might not be a 501(c)3. But we do have a ministry.
you also, as living stones, are being built up as a spiritual house for a holy priesthood, to offer up spiritual sacrifices acceptable to God through Jesus Christ.(1 Peter 2:5).
We are all priests, working for His name in the spheres in which He has placed us. No matter if the sphere is large or small, we work for His name, aware that our every move, our entire being, is for His name.
Therefore I exhort you, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a sacrifice—living, holy, and pleasing to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. (Romans 12:1).
The young unmarried woman is a ministry – by example – of her modesty and chasteness and eagerness to learn. The married woman is a ministry – by example – of her unity with her husband and presentation of her marriage as a parable of what the Gospel is like. The mothers are a ministry – by example – of literally presenting your bodies as a sacrifice of praise to Jesus who knit the baby in your womb. Raising children is a worthy calling for both the mother and father. The older woman is a ministry – by example – of ministering to younger women. Grandchildren. Ladies in church and elsewhere. Our own raising of children may be complete (if the Lord had granted it) but there are others to minister to, encouraging them in the admonition of the Lord and exhorting to share the beauty of Jesus.
We all have work to do. We’re all in a ministry.
Now. I was also thinking of a certain someone in a ministry who said people are accusing her of the following: “I am even being called dangerous, legalistic, ungodly, and a false teacher.” She said people are saying those things of her. She is a person who does have a formal ministry. It has a quarter of a million followers, she’s been interviewed widely, she wields a great deal of influence.
None of that matters. None.
What matters is, are we ministering in such a way that the holy and spotless name of Jesus is being upheld by our teachings and our lifestyle? Ministry is about the outworking of doctrinal truths applied to our lives, in His name, for His name. Are we doing it well?
It does a person good to occasionally review one’s life, one’s ministry, one’s teachings. Are we still on the center line of doctrinal truth? Are we speaking and behaving in such a way that would bring glory to Jesus, or bring reproach to Jesus?
You know, we are told to examine ourselves, more times in the New Testament than we think.
2 Corinthians 13:5 – Test yourselves to see if you are in the faith; examine yourselves! Or do you not recognize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you—unless indeed you fail the test?
Galatians 6:3-4 – For if anyone thinks that he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. But each one must examine his own work, and then he will have reason for boasting, but to himself alone, and not to another.
2 Peter 1:10 – Therefore, brothers and sisters, be all the more diligent to make certain about His calling and choice of you;
1 Corinthians 11:28 – But a person must examine himself, and in so doing he is to eat of the bread and drink of the cup.
Matthew 7:5 – You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye!
If we are told to examine ourselves so much for that variety of reasons, why ignore the fact that we are to examine ourselves when we are doing ministry? No! Let it not be so!
Let us all, those in formal ministry and those who quietly or informally minister, examine ourselves to see that we are doing and saying things that are pleasing to God. If people are saying to us or about us that we’re dangerous, legalistic, ungodly, or a false teacher the question remains: do we love Jesus first or do we love ourselves first? Our entire attention and focus must be on His name. If I am doing anything that is dangerous or false or legalistic, upon hearing such accusations, is my pride such that I never take the charges seriously and go examine myself fairly? Never let it be so!
Pride is the first sin and the most serious. It is the root of all other sins. God speaks in His word many times about pride. Here are a few,
Proverbs 8:13 – The fear of the Lord is to hate evil; Pride and arrogance and the evil way And the perverted mouth, I hate.
Proverbs 11:2 – When pride comes, then comes dishonor, But with the humble is wisdom.
Proverbs 16:5 – Everyone who is proud in heart is an abomination to the Lord; Assuredly, he will not be unpunished.
Proverbs 16:18 – Pride goes before destruction, And a haughty spirit before stumbling.
It is humbling to publicly repent of something done in sin or taught incorrectly in His name. It is humbling to eat crow. But pride should not be so strong that it prevents us from kneeling down and saying “I was wrong. Forgive me.”
I’ve seen some public teachers do it. Far from making me think less of them, I think MORE highly of them. I myself have been open about my mistake of following Joel Osteen at the start of my Christian life (before I had a blog, thankfully). Also of my newspaper eisegesis and looking at signs according to the news, early on in my blogging career. I was excited to finally have had all the answers in the Bible as to why the world was the way it was, and I’m not apologetic at that first rush of relief and joy and my worldview shifted so rapidly. But I am thankful the Spirit grew me out of that and I didn’t persist and become wayward in doctrine or hopefully not lead others astray.
If you are receiving congratulations for a job well done in ministry, great, but don’t let it go to your head. If you are receiving charges of falsity or error, stop, take a breath, consider the source, and examine yourself to see if it is so. The spotless name of Jesus is paramount to all we do in ministry, and yes we all have a ministry.
Though the internet affords opportunity for anyone to come forth with a blog, a Youtube or TikTok channel, to tweet or comment on Facebook boldly, not all content should be absorbed. Lori Alexander The Transformed Wife’s should not.
But first, a defense of discernment
Jesus praised the folks at church at Ephesus doing discernment properly. It’s in Revelation 2:2 and 2:6-
‘I know your deeds and your toil and perseverance, and that you cannot bear with those who are evil, and you put to the test those who call themselves apostles, and they are not, and you found them to be false;
Yet this you do have, that you hate the deeds of the Nicolaitans, which I also hate.
Critiquing a ministry is appropriate. “Going to them” personally is not required. Public teachings can and should be publicly assessed. Evaluation is noble. (Acts 17:11)
Discerning Lori Alexander
If you take Lori Alexander’s tweets individually, if you read them occasionally or one-by-one, they seem good. Like this one:
I agree with this one as well:
Nothing bad there. It’s good advice. Firstly, the tricky part comes when she also mixes in things that are not biblical. Secondly, the damaging part is consuming a steady diet of her material. Over time you see an accumulation of tone and thought: that almost every tweet disparages women, wives, and marriage in some way. Worst of all, the advice you see over time, is extra-biblical because it’s legalistic.
Ligonier definition of Legalism: “Legalism is, by definition, an attempt to add anything to the finished work of Christ. It is to trust in anything other than Christ and His finished work for one’s standing before God.“
To that end, The Transformed Wife’s cumulative posts reveal a constant pointing to a wife’s works as the measure of a marriage, her standing with God, and her soul. It’s trust in Debi and Michael Pearl, not Christ of the cross. It’s trust in the idol of submission Lori has made it for herself. Husband’s responsibility is not mentioned. Grace is not found. Charity, fruit, prayer, or scripture is not evidenced. Only legalistic, negative-Nellie warnings in confident absolutes. Dire and dour. For example, “women destroy everything”, see screenshot below.
Her focus is as she states here- is usually on Eve alone. She’ll accuse Eve like here- “The devil deceived Eve, “and Adam was not deceived, but the woman being deceived was in the transgression”(II Tim2:14)” but not include Romans 5:12-13, stating that Adam also sinned.
Biblical concern # 1, Lori Disbelieves in Original Sin
In a post now scrubbed, Lori wrote in 2016: “Your children are born in the flesh. It’s not sinful yet since they haven’t sinned, just as Adam’s flesh wasn’t sinful before he sinned“. (Source). And in 2022 or 23 The Transformed Wife replied to a woman asking Lori directly about original sin. Her reply was completely unbiblical. (Source: Lindsey Davis-Knotts)-
I asked Lori about her stance on original sin in May 2023 but she refused to answer and blocked me. Later, Lori came out with a weak affirmation of original sin but I suspect its sincerity, because it was issued under cloud of the growing scandal that her stance had generated when it resurfaced.
Disbelieving in our sin nature from the womb and at birth going forward in life is a big doctrine to get wrong. This heresy is actually called Pelagianism after Pelagius who promoted it. This doctrine was condemned as heresy in 418 by the Council of Carthage.
Biblical concern # 2: Lori teaches that women should not teach doctrine to other women, thus her view of scripture is skewed
My conviction that women shouldn’t be teaching women doctrines other than the doctrine of biblical womanhood, as commanded in Titus 2:3-5, has given me a lot of criticism from many places. I am even being called dangerous, legalistic, ungodly, and a false teacher. Women’s Bible studies are the pathway that has led to many female preachers/pastors, women speaking in the churches, and lukewarm churches. If women can preach/teach Scripture in a church, how is this any different than the men who do this on Sunday mornings?
The first issue with this stance, is that it is wrong. We are not saying Titus 2 urges women to preach in church. The verse is urging older women to teach the younger. That’s all. Lori tends to make straw man fallacies and argue them when they in fact don’t exist.
Teaching what is good means teaching about God – who is the only Good. (Mark 10:18). She got this ‘no teaching doctrine or theology’ from Dale Partridge, who is a man who fell below reproach due to serial plagiarism, and should not be teaching or pastoring. This shows that Lori displays a lack of discernment. More on Partridge on another day. She elevates Michael and Debi Pearl and Dale Partridge’s teachings as if they are Gospel words from Jesus Himself. But when challenged, won’t take anyone else’s words, research, or experience into account.
The apostle Paul tells Titus, in verse 3, that older women must first of all teach what is good. What could possibly be better than the Lord Jesus Christ? Doesn’t being a godly wife, mother and housekeeper flow out of knowing Him? Surely women without the Lord are fully capable of teaching those basic skills!
Only a Christian woman, however, can teach her sisters Who Jesus is. And obviously she can’t do so unless she teaches sound doctrine. Theology lays the groundwork for having godly marriages, raising children by godly principles and maintaining a home that reflects godly order. Theology deepens our understanding of who God is and what He values. So when a woman teaches right theology to other women as a supplement to the pastor’s preaching, she assists their abilities to be wives and mothers that bring glory to God.
DebbieLynne is wise.
Lori Alexander’s self-imposed strict legalism about not teaching women other doctrines than the one doctrine Lori deems acceptable to teach, that is, biblical womanhood, has resulted in her skewed view of scripture. 2 Peter 3:14-18 can be applied to her, particularly where the unstable distort God’s teachings. For example, several times she has said the following:
Legalism will take one verse and camp on it to the exclusion of other verses and to the exclusion of the authorial intent and context. This is what is meant by the unstable twisting God’s word.
Her version of submission is one way only and she doesn’t to my knowledge teach young women what to expect from a husband according to Ephesians 5 or any other pertinent verses.
Ephesians 5:25 urges believers “Just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her”. Ephesians 5:28–29 says “So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself”. This is sacrificial love. Not submissive love per se, but a gentle leadership love that sacrifices for the wife. There is none of that kind of teaching in Lori’s world.
Husbands lead. Yes they are the ultimate decision-maker, but leading means leading in kindness and grace, remembering what Christ has done for His church and mimicking the same in sacrificial love.
Submission is Lori’s ‘tithing of mint’. “But woe to you Pharisees! For you pay tithe of mint and rue and every kind of garden herb, and yet disregard justice and the love of God; but these are the things you should have done without neglecting the others.” Luke 11:42
3. Lori is a King James Onlyist
Lori said in a blog post she agrees with Michael Pearl who teaches KJV-Only. Pearl had said in that video, “I believe that the King James Bible is the Word of God and not the other books” (Michael Pearl). Pearl has also said,
“The others are not really translations, they’re not preservations of the Word of God. They’re modern renderings which involve somewhat the imagination of the authors, and they’re all done for the sake of selling something.” (MPearl)
This shows a lack of discernment on Lori’s part. It again demonstrates her total acceptance of what Michael and Debi Pearl teach, a stance she has repeated many times in affirming the Pearls’ ministry and defending their teachings.
Rebuttal: Dr. James White spends a few minutes with Todd Friel of Wretched (Wretched is a ministry Lori quotes and speaks well of), on the fact that while the KJV is good, as the centuries have passed and as more archaeological finds have occurred giving us original documents of the original Bible, there are better versions nowadays.
That video with Friel and White was 9 years ago and lately the Legacy Standard Bible has been issued. This new version is a spare updating of the original NASB 1995. The translators went back to the original languages of the Hebrew, Greek, and Aramaic. Alan Hunter spends 3 minutes explaining it, here.
It is of biblical concern she promotes KJV-onlyism which again I say, displays a lack of discernment. She wrote that she likes it, besides the fact that Michael Pearl taught that it’s the best and only version that is acceptable, but because homosexual is a recently made up word but the KJV uses sodomite and that is a way better word, Lori says. Oy.
One of the saddest signs of legalistic Christianity is the tenacious defense of the KJV as the only legitimate English-language translation. Almost as sad is that countless hours of scholars’ and pastors’ time must be diverted from the larger priorities of God’s kingdom to point out the numerous historical, logical, and factual errors of KJV Onlyism — even though these errors have been repeatedly exposed in the past.
4. Lori is unteachable. She resorts to victim status when challenged or corrected
Every teacher and every person with a ministry, has both a responsibility to be as correct as possible, and has a duty to be accountable to their own overseers and to those whom they teach. In ministry, we’re talking souls, we’re talking of eternal truths from the Bible, and we’re talking of our Sovereign King. Heavy stuff. Though we do not kowtow to trolls, and though we should have a fair amount of confidence in our own settled convictions that we teach, no one is above error. As Lori says constantly when defending the indefensible (more on that below) she overlooks and ignores error by constantly replying to challenges of Gothard or the Pearls or Hannah Pearl Davis, “no one is 100%”.
Well, that seems not to apply to her, because when she was asked about original sin by me, I was blocked right away. Others report the same, blocking rather than engaging. She never seems to give her teachings a fair evaluation when many, MANY who have pleaded with her to do just that. Nor does she give an evaluation of the terrible teachings of the Bill Gothard of IBLP or the Pearls (Debi & Michael) though constantly asked by many to do just that. Her reactions are knee-jerk defenses. Often they don’t make sense or she contradicts herself within the same posting.
A minister of the Gospel should be teachable, fair, and humbly allow correction when wrong. Lori does not. Rather than seek truth, she retreats behind a blocked wall, scrubs content, deletes tweets, hides comments, and carries on with error. Proverbs 12:1 applies here, which I’ll share in the KJV since Lori likes that version so much-
Whoso loveth instruction loveth knowledge: but he that hateth reproof is brutish.
And then out comes the victim status. After asking about her stance on original sin, she messaged me, saying: “I can’t believe you’re scouring through my writings to find things against me that was stolen from my private chat room by trolls!”
There is no need to ‘scour’ writings since she has been on blogs and other social media since 2011, and all of them public. I asked about nothing that wasn’t public. ‘To find things against me’ is typical victimhood. In her mind, a person asking about the basis for her theology and lifestyle choices is actively trying to bring her down. She wants 100% agreement all the time, when in fact, questions about what a teacher has written is called reasoning together to find mutual understanding, or to enact repentance and correction.
And you say, “How I have hated discipline! And my heart spurned reproof! I have not listened to the voice of my instructors, And I have not inclined my ear to my teachers! I was almost in utter ruin In the midst of the assembly and congregation.”
What one expects of a teacher is right belief within orthodoxy, and the fruit of the spirit- two of which are teachability and humility. When a person lacks those, their doctrine becomes skewed, as well as their ability to discern.
5. Lori Alexander defends alleged instances of marital rape & engages in child beating, under the names ‘submission and ‘discipline’
This is a serious charge. I will back it up.
Lori gave advice on a video to a woman who said that her husband had asked her for sex and the wife had said no thanks, but the wife awoke to her husband in the middle of the night having sex with her anyway. The question the wife asked Lori was, ‘is this rape?’
In the video, Lori replied,
“I said well do you feel like you need to call the police and have them locked in jail because if true rape is when you’re assaulted and against your will by some stranger and you you feel like he’s worthy of being put in prison.”Here, time stamps 2:33, 2:51.
She received a lot of flak for that (rightly so) and in unteachable fashion, didn’t take fair look at her reply but doubled down instead. She said in a defensive-rebuttal blog post-
I told her that no, this wasn’t considered marital rape. Marital rape is when a husband forces himself upon his wife on a frequent basis while drunk or high on drugs or is simply an abusive, mean man. If there is true marital rape, there is physical abuse that comes with it. … It’s not that big of a deal!” source.
Wait, a woman has to be raped a bunch of times for it to be rape? Or he has to be high for it to be rape? It’s not rape if it only happened once, or if he was sober when he did it? If no physical evidence of your refusal can be seen, it’s not rape? (That’s an outdated 1980s rape culture philosophy that harmed and silenced many women). Lori said nothing about Jesus’ charge to the husband to exhibit self-control, or as Ephesians 5:29b says ‘he should nourish and cherish her just as Christ also does the church’.
She has extremely troubling views on consent and boundaries (which include positive mentions of husband swatting his wife on the behind? Corporal punishment of the wife?!)
Legally, most states consider it rape when the victim is unconscious. Further, regarding consent laws, “Researchers who have spoken to husband-rapists conclude that they rape to express anger, and to reinforce power, dominance, and control over their wives and families. • Stereotypes about women and sex such as women enjoy forced sex, women say “no” when they really mean “yes,” and it’s a wife’s duty to have sex continue to be reinforced in our culture. Such stereotypes mislead into believing they should ignore a woman’s protests. These stereotypes also mislead women into believing they must have sent the wrong signals. Women blame themselves for unwanted sexual encounters, believing they are bad wives for not enjoying sexual encounters, or believing they are bad wives for not enjoying sex against their will.”
With Lori Alexander, you begin to notice that everything is always the wife’s fault. She has a dim view of marriage, a joyless outlook, and dispenses advice filled with lots of legalism and blame. Like this screenshot.
Worse, when I read this account of her approach to ‘discipline’ I had to walk away and calm myself down. I grew up in a not-safe household where things like this happened or were threatened to happen. Lori Alexander, following the Pearls’ advice, beat her children in the name of godly submission and obedience.
Christmas is a time to celebrate the wondrous incarnation of Christ, to gather with family and prayerfully and joyfully speak and sing of His love, share gifts in that spirit. It isn’t to focus on the opportunity to abuse your children by hitting them in anger (severe lack of self-control to hit babies in anger!) for a totally appropriate child-like reaction to Christmas. Please note that there are many mentions of her hitting her children for being children, even crawling babies, urging women to hit them hard enough to make them feel pain so they won’t crawl off the blanket or display unwanted negative emotions.
It isn’t just about locking them outside on a cold morning. The act of closing your home’s door against your babies and toddlers should enrage even the most strict disciplinarian. All that “teaches” them is that you can be tossed out at a moment’s notice and that your home is NOT SAFE and it’s NOT PERMANENT. It just shows the kids that ‘home’ could be lost for the most trivial of reasons.
Here is a link to a Christianity Today Article from 2011 “When Child Discipline Becomes Abuse which notes several children have died under this cruel and abusive method that Lori encourages moms to use to this day. Yet she defends her actions of hitting babies with belts or a switch to this day.
Here is a page of 34 screen shots showing her stance on physical punishment of under-three-year-olds. The one where she says make sure you’re in a state that allows you to use an instrument like a belt or a rod rather than just a hand…smh. And advising women to ‘break the child’s will’? Where is the nurturing and loving admonishment?
She kicked her cat, too, hard enough to break its ribs if she’d actually connected. She smacks her babies in anger, why not the cat? (Source)
“Blanket Training” is a technique in the Pearl’s book that involves putting a 6 month old baby on the floor on a blanket, putting a few toys just off the blanket, encouraging the baby to crawl off the blanket to get the toy, then and then hitting the child with an implement like a wooden spoon or a stick if they do so. Repeat until the child remains on the blanket despite temptations.
This is a practice Lori Alexander enacted and approves of. I’d show you recent screen shots from Twitter but she has deleted them. Nevertheless, here is one reply to one of Lori’s now-deleted tweets approving of blanket training,
@jannabstil: Blanket training is holding power over the powerless. Putting out toys that they can’t have, and then hitting them when they reach for it..you are tempting them to sin. Something Jesus never did and says not to do. Obedience should never be taught using fear. This is abuse.
Tim Challies is a book reviewer, author, blogger, and pastor. He reviewed Debi Pearl’s book and Michael Pearl’s books books negatively. This is the method Lori says completely transformed her and which she follows to the letter. Tim is Canadian and known to be an even more polite Canadian than most Canadians. Even if a book review is negative, it’s usually softly presented. Not this time. He reviewed both the Pearls’ books severely.
Throughout the book, Pearl shows that she is a poor and unwise mentor. In place of the wisdom and the fruit of the Spirit that ought to mark a mentor, she displays a harsh and critical spirit, she offers foolish counsel, she teaches poor theology, she misuses Scripture, and she utterly misses the centrality of the gospel.
A student will go no higher than her teacher, and thus, Lori is exactly the same as Challies described Debi Pearl above.
Michael Pearl’s book How to Train up a Child, a review titled by Challies “How (Not to) Train up a Child” had so much to say he made his review into two parts. (Part 1, Part 2). About Michael Pearl’s book, Challies said
But the fact remains that the weight of the book is driven by an unbiblical view of human nature which in turn leads to the wrong emphases. In place of the gracious, loving mercy of gospel is the harsh justice of law.
And that is the same spirit that touched Lori Alexander so much that it ‘transformed’ her, and sadly, which she displays in her online persona via Tweets, Youtubes, TikToks, blogs, Facebook, and Instagram posts. Remember, it was Debi Pearl’s book that she says transformed her, NOT the Holy Spirit’s illuminating truth to her mind. THAT is why her advice is twisted and legalistic, because it’s not based on God’s book, but on her idol’s book.
Lori Alexander’s dependence on the KJV only, the Pearls, and to a lesser degree Bill Gothard’s teachings, along with a limited view of scripture has drawn her into a sphere where she dispenses seemingly surface good advice but comes from a very cultish place.
“It’s a culture of fear, is what it is,” says Veinot, who wrote a book about Gothard and IBLP. “If you [follow] these rules, you make God happy and thereby will be protected. If you violate the rules, then you will be punished: Your car will break down and your washing machine won’t work and your kids will rebel.” The charismatic leader, the authoritarian control, the isolation of members, the severe punishments, the demand for absolute and blind loyalty—all those elements outlined in the lawsuit add up to IBLP being “cult-like,” he says.
He was speaking of the Gothardites but I find his assessment can and should be applied to Lori Alexander, who is a kind of Gothardite herself.
Ladies, don’t be so relieved you found someone online who refreshingly teaches biblical womanhood that you overlook the serious flaws from the Transformed Wife’s ministry. She’s wrong on not teaching doctrine to other women, she’s wrong on the Pearls, she’s wrong on the Duggars, she’s wrong on Bill Gothard, she’s wrong on KJV-only, she’s wrong on her version of wifely submission and the husband’s role.
Yes, she pushes back against culture but does it so far and so hard far that she enters legalistic, pharisaical territory. Many of her teachings are in absolutes, as in these paraphrased attitudes-
‘No wife should EVER work outside the home’, ‘higher education for a woman means she is a feminist’, ‘anyone who critiques me is a hater Jezebel,’ and this a direct quote- “Our culture sure isn’t turning out many great children now; that’s for sure.”
I’d encourage women to watch these two videos, and compare against the tone and content of Lori’s teachings. The first is a short video of a mom listening to her boy after he’d been thru the consequence of his disobedience and had a tantrum. He had calmed down and was talking it through. Can you envision Lori gently speaking with her son this way? Or does the picture of Christmas morning and in fury smacking her son with a slipper come to mind? It’s just 1:18 long.
This next one is a marvelous Titus 2 woman from ‘across the pond’. She is Sharon Dickens, who has been in Women’s Ministry for 25 plus years, written books on biblical womanhood, and has a loving approach to being a Titus 2 woman. Think of the end goal here. Lori’s end goal is always telling women to submit and that everything that goes wrong in a marriage is her fault. That is her only mantra. And because she has restricted herself from speaking of Jesus, her mantras are devoid of love.
Here Sharon is interviewed by Exposit the Word’s UK leader, David Knight. David asked her about her church’s ministry program, “20 schemes” (a scheme in Scotland is akin to a lower middle-class neighborhood or ‘the projects’).
She said, “Growing up the next generation and [unintelligible] leaders that’s what I get excited about. I mean God saving people and then investing in them and seeing them moving to become all that God has meant them to be. So, women’s ministries, yeah I love I love the ministry. My role in that as Director of Women’s Ministries is I love seeing God save and transform and then I love seeing our new believers fulfill their full potential.“
Wow. What a breath of fresh air, taking joy in salvations, attributing womens’ sanctification to God, and reveling in ladies growing in His likeness. And Sharon puts her money where her mouth is, teaching the whole Bible to whole women, enjoying Christ and being transformative via His word shared in real lives.
Friends, rather than simply taking Lori’s words at face value, look at what she says AND does. I’d heard somewhere that “When someone shows you who they are, believe them.”
Conclusion
Lori Alexander has a lot of influence. Here is an article from 2018 describing her influence:
She has a massive following of over 232,000. This is concerning to me. She is on Facebook, Administers a private chat room, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, Gab Social, Youtube, and has a blog probably with subscribers and for sure, readers.
I urge women, especially younger women who may be relieved to discover a conservative and traditional older women, to avoid Lori Alexander. And I haven’t even gone into the hypocrisy and contradictions, of which there are many. (The Wiki link below has them, so take a look).
In delving into her videos, posts, tweets, books, and influences, I have come to the conclusion she is completely unedifying. In my opinion she is a rigid, joyless, emotional miser, mindlessly defending the cult of Gothard and Pearl, and promoting unthinking, soul-shrinking capitulation, not joyful soul-expanding submission.
Her entire ministry is one of berating, warnings, and loveless unconcern for the many women to look to her for advice. Rather than exhibiting joyful submission in honor of the grace bestowed by a compassionate savior nurturing his sheep, she advises dour duty and plodding legalism heavier than a weight around one’s neck. Lori Alexander IS a millstone, and she will weigh you down and bring you down if you follow her.
My conclusion is based on the unbiblical view she has of doctrine, of her narrow interpretation of Titus 2, of her own words regarding marital sex (not lovemaking, and btw a subject she discusses way too frequently for a discreet godly woman she alleges to be), and her own words regarding her spiritual gurus Gothard and Pearl.
What did Jesus excoriate the most? The rigid legalism of the Pharisees. Remember, He pronounced WOES upon them for doing what they did to the helpless sheep. Woes represent his deepest anger. I weep for young ladies who get drawn into Lori’s sphere. There are more wholesome and balanced women’s ministries out there.
The scribes and the Pharisees have seated themselves in the chair of Moses. Therefore, whatever they tell you, do and comply with it all, but do not do as they do; for they say things and do not do them. And they tie up heavy burdens and lay them on people’s shoulders, but they themselves are unwilling to move them with so much as their finger. And they do all their deeds to be noticed by other people…(Matthew 23:2-5a).
My discernment radar is off the charts with this ministry. Her influence is vast, the danger is real. I found this entry below to be fair and is saturated with links to original words or screen shots.
The following is a critique of Bill Gothard and the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP) by well-respected journalist Don Veinot. Lori vehemently defends alleged child abuser Bill Gothard, summarily rejects accusations of his alleged cult, and vigorously defends the Duggars, rejecting allegations of child abuse & molestation in the family. She has come out with several blogs affirming the Duggars in the face of the documentary exposing the abuse and cult-like atmosphere, and published another one today, claiming it is the evil ‘globalists’ agenda’ behind the doc.
As I said, Lori lacks discernment and is so invested in her own system she won’t entertain even an iota of mention that it is false. To her, wifely submission is more important that rightly regarding Christ.
Sharon Dickens is a good role model:
I am certainly not the first person to critique Lori Alexander. Many have been saying these things for years and still do to this day. I am a Johnny Come Lately. But here are a couple of other critiques I found that I think are accurate:
I listened to two videos from Gina at Where the Wild Bee Wings critiquing Lori Alexander/The Transformed Wife. I just found Gina today. I am not familiar with Gina’s videos except the two I watched on Lori and one on morning coffee.
I find her gentle and honest and spot-on. I was impressed, for two reasons. First because the first video I watched began with an explanation of why Gina had deleted her original video critiquing Lori Alexander. A commenter had made a gentle rebuke and asked Gina to think about it. Gina did think about it, agreed with the rebuke, and then deleted her entire video and remade it in better fashion. I was impressed with this and it made me want to listen to her more. That is being teachable and humble!
Secondly, because Gina makes insightful comments. Here is another video from Gina rebutting the blog essay Lori wrote about not expecting the husband to fulfill emotional needs (here). And a video about Lori’s reaction to Shiny Happy People docuseries and Lori’s defense of the Duggars. (here).
Disclaimers
Yes, I have ‘gone to Lori’ personally. It didn’t last long. I asked the one question about original sin, and she complained I was out to get her like the rest of her trolls, blocked me and misstated on her blog what had happened. Secondly, going to a person privately when critiquing her public ministry is not necessary. It’s nice, but not mandated.
No, I’m not “jealous” of Lori’s marriage, her following, or her life. Why would I be jealous of someone Jesus is probably going to pronounce woes upon? The question is, are you concerned for thousands of young women who cling to her awful advice, which includes mishandling scripture, bad psychiatry, untrained medical pronouncements, hypocrisy, and child abuse?
I am a member in good standing of a local, elder led, expository church and I believe in the God-ordained role for women: The older to minister as Titus 2 says to the younger, and for the younger, to become wives and moms IF the Lord grants a husband and/or children. I believe the Bible is patriarchal, and that husbands lead families and men lead churches.
I believe that women especially if married should make home their primary orientation and that is what I teach and encourage, BUT that each husband and wife come to their own decisions regarding women’s work outside the home and anyone who makes generalized absolute pronouncements upon others with no knowledge (like Lori Alexander does) is a legalist and an ignorant busybody.
Recommended women’s ministries- they teach online and in real life with grace and humility, and with these ladies, Christ is central, not just “submission”.
Women’s Hope: A podcast: Join Dr. Shelbi Cullen and Kimberly Cummings as they bring hope and encouragement through 25 years of combined experience in biblical discipleship.
the-end-time.org 