Posted in theology

The Dark Truth Behind Feminism: Insights from ‘The End of Woman’ (Book Review)

By Elizabeth Prata

Feminism is evil. But I didn’t know HOW evil until I read The End of Woman: How Smashing the Patriarchy Has Destroyed Us, by Carrie Gress.

I had avoided books and discussions about feminism because I’m 64, meaning, I’m old enough to have actually lived through Second Wave Feminism. It wasn’t fun. I grew up with feminists. I’ve seen the impact of the 1960s and 1970s on women, culture, the workplace, media, education, and more. Been there, done that. Even though I wasn’t saved and possessed a worldly perspective, I still didn’t like feminism. It didn’t make sense to me. So I avoided any scholarly or deep dive into feminist doctrine.

Cut to 50 years later. I follow Erin Coates on Instagram. Erin highly recommended the book, The End of Woman: How Smashing the Patriarchy Has Destroyed Us by Carrie Gress, which she had listened to on audio. On the strength of Erin’s strong faith and wise discernment, I bought the book.

I’m glad I did.

Erin was right, it was a tough read. Not a hard read due to the words, it was very well written. It’s a tough read because it’s spiritually burdensome and quite anger-inducing.

What ‘The End of Woman’ covers

The author Carrie Gress presented a historical overview of feminism from the academically accepted origins in the late 1700s, to now. However, she embedded feminist concepts against its birth milieu, the French Revolution. She showed the clear ties of feminism to Marxism. Most of all, she demonstrated the vapid, degraded, hopeless lives of history’s biggest proponents of feminism who tried to live the lifestyle to earn all its fulfillment promises but failed. Many actually committed suicide, or lived a life so depraved they died from its accumulated sins, went insane, or ended life economically impoverished.

Consider this, as Gress wrote: “The French Revolution represented a dramatic shift in culture, even more so than the American Revolution. America’s revolution was against British rule for the sake of freedom, but the French Revolution was an effort to recreate and reshape society in a world without God.”

It NEVER goes well for a society when it attempts to remove God. “Nature abhors a vacuum” is a truism. A biblical truism is that satan prowls around like a roaring lion, and his subtlety and craftiness never sleeps. The French Revolution gave rise to the doctrine of feminism in order to fill that vacuum.

Feminism is unwieldy, mainly because it is against God’s best for men, women, marriage, child-rearing, and society, but also because it just doesn’t make sense in and of itself. Something that arose frequently in the book was that adherents usually came to a crossroads with promoting the principles of feminism or succumbing to ‘societal norms’ of marriage, monogamy, and tending to children. Time and again, those who had promoted free love or a living together arrangement ended up married or leaving the commune. ‘Do as I say, not as I do.’

They discovered feminism’s limits

Mary Wollstonecraft, c. 1797, source Wikipedia

For example the ‘patient zero’ of feminism usually attributed to Mary Wollstonecraft, saw how society treated children born out of wedlock- especially her own daughter from a previous relationship. Her intended husband, anarchist Willliam Godwin, had stridently declared marriage to be “possession of a woman”, “odious selfishness,” and that the family was the enemy of unhappiness because of its unnatural enslavement of free male sexuality.

Then they got married.

The hypocrisy of feminist adherents is natural, because God’s ways are best and deep down, says Romans 1, they know it. Though they side with their fleshly desires, to the detriment of their own lives and souls, it just makes sense to marry and have a family. “They lived with a kind of hubris believing that they were new and radical by defying convention. History, of course, shows that they were not so novel…” writes Gress.

It should be noted that many if not most of the women in first wave feminism and second wave feminism were middle to upper class women. They had money, means, and time to experiment with fulfilling their sinful desires to restructure society into one that not only accepts their sinful choices but heartily approves of them. (Romans 1:32).

The second wave was worse than the first wave

Second wave feminism’s catalyst is attributed by historians to Betty Friedan and her 1963 book The Feminine Mystique. Friedan’s stance was that women were made for more than “just” their ‘mystique’ which is housewifery and mothering. They were shackled to their stoves, crying out on behalf of a “problem that could not be named” but, (according to Friedan) all of them felt. The question in housewife’s minds was, “Is this all?” Buying curtains and waxing the floor?

Friedan rebutted this ‘assumption,’ and opined that all housewives were beleaguered, voiceless drones, going so far as to compare homemaking with ‘a comfortable concentration camp.’

That book was a match that ignited women’s discontent to levels that shook the culture, turned it upside down, and still reverberates over half a century later.

Gress rightly calls Friedan’s comparison of housewifery to a comfortable concentration camp, “overwrought.” “What the starved, gassed, lice-infested, raped, brutalized, tortured, and ultimately exterminated people in real concentration camps would have given to live like the most privileged women in human history,” Gress said.

Friedan’s husband Carl acknowledges, “She had time to write it because she lived in a mansion on the Hudson River, had a full time maid, and was completely supported by me.” So when reading about Friedan’s grievance about being a full-time housewife and mother and how it led to a nameless, widespread problem of voiceless drudgery, consider the source. They were rich dilettantes who had time and means to monkey with society’s structure for the fulfillment of their own sinful desires.

Friedan in 1960. Wikipedia source

Gress wrote: “Feminism offered us women’s studies and women’s health and women’s rights, but they didn’t tell anyone, even once solid data was in, that their goals leave women miserable, unhealthy, and wondering what we did wrong. … Their goal via the sexual revolution was to reject motherhood, monogamy, and marriage in favor of hookups, money, glamour, and it has left so many unfulfilled, and deeply unhappy.”

Because they lack God.

Feminism easily mixes with other bad doctrines

Gress shows feminism’s connections to communism, lesbianism, and how it aligned with and morphed into the homosexual ‘rights’ and civil rights movements. Feminism is more than a philosophy, and it is more widespread in its pernicious evil than one would initially think. Gress shows how the feminist doctrine itself has turned into a kind of religion.

Smashing the patriarchy has harmed men, too, of course. Men are “Tossed aside, largely because they are not required to win the heart or body of a woman, and the concepts of commitment, self-mastery, self-sacrifice, and family, and many of the practical virtues that accompany them…” writes Gress.

Why read this book?

The End of Woman is not an easy read, as I mentioned. It is well written and well-researched, but the research is solid, which makes for a more academic book than a casual one. It is worth reading though. Why?

-To give you a grounding in the depths and width that feminism has infiltrated not only society but the minds of women, including you, your daughters, and your granddaughters.

-To give you proofs for rebutting the doctrine of feminism. If you are in a wellness group, homeschool group, play date group, book group, or any other group where today’s women congregate, after reading The End of Woman you will likely have a firmer grasp of how feminism operates and can be a witness for Jesus in the rebuttal, or just to strengthen your own resolve to live the Godly goal of wife, mother, and homemaker.

Far from having a ‘problem with no name’ which was Friedan’s code for an aimless, amorphous dissatisfaction with one’s role, Godly femininity is fulfilling, pleases God, and raises strong children.

-To fire you up for hating what God hates and loving what God loves. What feminists focus on are the humdrum tasks of housewifery. Granted, those can be dull at times. No one’s soul is lifted scrubbing your boys’ bathroom toilet. But the satisfaction of providing a clean, warm, safe home for the children and husband to return to, is. Ultimately what feminists leave out is the satisfaction of living inside of God’s boundaries for women, whether married, widowed, single, mother, or childless.

Conclusion

I recommend reading The End of Woman. As Erin Coates also warned, however, the author is Catholic. Coates wrote,

As well researched as this book is Carrie’s solution is sorely lacking, she believes that simply doing the opposite of what we have been doing and a rediscovery of womanhood will rescue us. I believe that that only true repentance and a turning to Christ will turn this ship around. The gospel silence was deafening.

Gress wrote, that “we have to come to know ourselves as women…” No, we have to submit our soul to the Captain of our souls for the transforming of our mind into Christ-likeness. ‘Who we are’ as women is that we are sinners. While Gress goes into the need to recover what it means to be a homemaker, and to learn lost arts of bread making, sewing and the like, and though her concluding sentence is that it is time to come home to ourselves as wives and mothers, the ultimate solution is missing. Praying for redeemed souls who understand obedience to Jesus brings the most fulfillment there is on earth.

It’s a good and interesting book. Please consider reading it.

Further Resources

Podcast from DoubleTake: The Feminine Mystake, 40 min. This podcast essentially summarizes the book reviewed here, in fact, interviews and excerpts from Gress’ book are within. Plus more!

Posted in theology

How to Identify a Godly Partner for Marriage

By Elizabeth Prata

WISDOM

Photo by Matthew Wyche on Unsplash

I saw a 5 minute clip on Twitter of a motherly woman cooking food while talking to three younger ladies sitting at her kitchen counter bar. It was clip #3, and I haven’t seen the other clips, but I loved this one.

It began with a question from a young lady who apparently is engaged. She asked about submitting to her fiancé, and her desire IS to submit, in order to show him that she will be a submissive wife.

The reply was gracious and good. First of all, the woman said that the Bible does not command women to submit to almost-husbands, boyfriends, or random men, but to submit to her own husband. Submission is not commanded until she has a ring on her finger and he has taken vows under which the verse says he will lay down his life for her. Then the three gals cutely chanted ‘Put a ring on it, put a ring on it.’

This is correct, and I agree. The verse says, Wives, subject yourselves to your own husbands, as to the Lord. Ephesians 5:22.

Then the young lady followed up with wondering how to show her husband-to-be that she is submissive. The answer by the Titus 2 woman was also wise. If her fiancé is the leader she needs him to be, he will know how to gauge her submissiveness, along with everything else he wants in a Christian wife (not solely submissiveness).

EPrata photo/illustration

Without the young lady having to practice it front of him or specifically demonstrating submission to a man she is not married to as yet, firstly, he can observe her submission to God. How does she do in the good times and times that are not so good? Does she rely on the Lord? Keep her composure? Maintain her trust in His promises that all He does is good? Is she prayerful?

And secondly, she can observe him. Watch how he submits to his parents. How he treats them. How he speaks of them. The matron reminded the young lady, the Bible says to ‘Honor Thy Parents’.

At this juncture the young lady interjected that the man she intends to marry speaks ill of his mother, and has grudges against her and won’t speak to her. The Matronly woman said if he speaks ill of his mom, he will eventually speak ill of her. The girls pondered this silently for a moment.

This is true. I have seen this. How a person behaves now is how he will behave later. If he holds grudges now, he’ll hold them later. Gossip now, gossip later. Perhaps he will grow in the future as he becomes more sanctified. But we’re talking marriage here. Young women and young men vetting a mate would do well to see if they are ready now. Not marry now and hope he changes later.

By this time, the girls were getting the idea that they also look at the husband-to-be with a biblical lens. It’s not all just one-way. It’s not solely about submissiveness, either.

Auntie asked, ‘Has he talked to you about how he will be the leader of the house? How he plans to provide, protect, and love you?’ At this point the young lady said they had been together two years, and he can’t keep a job. That he loses them, it’s always someone else’s fault, he doesn’t like the people he works with, or some excuse or another.

If this was a movie, the Director would be cueing the ‘uh-oh’ music by now. The gal eventually said, “I guess his actions don’t always align with what he is saying.”

This is wisdom. I liked how the Titus 2 older lady brought the younger woman to this piece of important wisdom without necessarily downgrading the young man or judging her choice in him. She had asked questions, related verses or biblical concepts, and let the gal ponder and come to her conclusions. If you are strong in the Bible, the Spirit will lead you there.

Girls, Ladies, women, sisters, if there is one thing I learned the hard way, is that what people say and what they do must match up. We are Christians, told to and wanting to believe the best in people. We trust. But we need to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves, as well. (Matthew 10:16). We MUST look at the behavior and see if their stated Christian values align with their actions.

Auntie reminded the girls that we will know the true vs. the false by their fruit. That is another good verse to help us pick through the emotions, words, and actions to determine whether what we are holding in our hand is an apple or a thorn. These two young people met in church. But even at that, we can’t set aside the warning bells, mismatch of words vs actions. It is easy to rationalize away mere words on a case by case basis. But when holding words AND actions to the lens of scripture, things become clear, even with people you dearly love, or want to love.

“This guy is showing you that he can’t keep a job. Are you going to want to work to provide for the family for the entire marriage?”
Gal said, “No…”
And the reply was “Well, he is already showing you that he is unwilling to provide.”

EPrata photo

Ladies, if you know the whole counsel of God it will prepare you for vetting a potential life mate. Marriage is not just learning that “the wife submits, the wife submits, the wife submits.” Look at your boyfriend’s word and actions. Is he self-controlled? He will be with you AND your children. Is he a diligent, hard worker? He will provide for you. Does he honor his parents? He will honor you. Does he faithfully attend church and serve in godly ways? He is showing you that he will maintain his equilibrium over the years because he is standing on the Foundation.

Stay in church, stay reading your Bible, keep praying for that man to come along. Be wise and innocent, be a fruit inspector. Pursue wisdom!

The Pursuit of Wisdom Brings Security
2 My son, if you will receive my words
And treasure my commandments within you,
2 Make your ear attentive to wisdom;
Incline your heart to understanding.
3 For if you cry out for insight,
And raise your voice for understanding;
4 If you seek her as silver
And search for her as for hidden treasures;
5 Then you will understand the fear of the Lord,
And discover the knowledge of God.
6 For the Lord gives wisdom;
From His mouth come knowledge and understanding.
(Proverbs 2:2-6)

Posted in theology

Ethics of First Class Travel for Christian Leaders

By Elizabeth Prata

First class cabin perks can include many things, not just preferred treatment inside the plane. Travel & Leisure

When you board a plane, you have to walk through first class to get to coach. You squeeze in to tiny seats with fellow humanity. I’ve never flown first class. In my younger days when I used to fly often, I’d think of those travelers in first class that they must be important. Or really rich. Thrifty me saved my money for use in the destination, not for comfort in the travel. They even had a curtain the stewardesses would draw closed so the first class passengers would not have to even see the cattle car behind, lol.

But if I did fly first class, or private jet, it would be my personal decision. Who would care? But! What of those who live on the donations of others? Leaders of a nonprofit ministry? Is it seemly to use ministry money or money from your non-profit to fly private jet? Or first class? What are the ethics of such a decision?

It would depend on their reasons, but mostly, no. It’s not a good look for a leader of a Christian ministry to fly private plane or first class. But more on that below.

Let’s take a look at some Christian (and self-identifying Christian) leaders and their travel modus operandi. They’ve stated their reasons for making the extravagant choice or the frugal choice. What it comes down to is, a question of stewardship (time, love, energy, and money).

When John MacArthur was first starting out as a youth pastor who preached at different youth camps, he drove everywhere. He had decided to take his wife and children with him. This demonstrates both an attitude of shepherding his means wisely, and a priority of family even as the way he provided for them was distant from their home. MacArthur said,

I could take my little family on weekend things that I did, whether it was Campus Crusade, or Youth for Christ, or some conference or some deal here or there. I could take them. And in the summers, we used to go on the conference trek, the camp tour, as a family. And those were wonderful times as family. ~JMacAurthur

After he obtained his current job as pastor-teacher, MacArthur flew to conferences, within the US or outside the US, in coach. Here is a clip of the pastor-teacher relating a scene where he had witnessed to a Muslim on a long flight. It’s heartwarming. THIS is what it’s all about:

JMac witnessing to a Muslim on a flight,
https://youtu.be/pP6M7OqnciA?si=53M_JkzMbh8v46jx

As MacArthur entered into his 80s, his heart had been giving him trouble. The church decided to pay for business class (not even first class) for the elderly preacher IF the flight was longer than 3 hours. This is so he could get up and move around. Here is Phil Johnson explaining-

Phil’s explanation of JMac’s travel arrangements: “Contrary to other noisy claims that were made by a certain angry blogger a few years ago, MacArthur doesn’t ALWAYS fly 1st class, but since he almost died of pulmonary embolism a few years ago, it’s not good for him to be immobilized in a middle seat on a long flight. So when we at GTY make his reservations for flights more than 3 hours, we do put him in business class whenever we can so that he can move around and stretch more easily. He’s in his eighties and often has to preach multiple sessions immediately after arrival on an overseas flight. It’s hardly an unreasonable expenditure”.

I agree. It sounds like the GTY Ministry is measured and careful of using the means of the people who donate to support the pastor. And it’s heartening to see that MacArthur uses the time to witness to anyone around him.

Next we have the travel strategy of Carl Hargrove. Carl Hargrove is Associate Professor of Pastoral Ministries at The Master’s Seminary. He said when he and his wife travel on a plane, she takes the window seat, he takes the aisle and whoever sits in the middle will receive the Gospel. If a woman, his wife shares, if a man, Carl shares. Tract given. It’s nice to see such careful strategy to make sure The Great Commission from Matthew 28:16-20 is adhered to.

screen shot, clip linked below

Next we turn to some others who claim to be Christians but sadly are false. How do Jesse Duplantis, Kenneth Copeland, and Beth Moore travel? What is their strategy for witnessing to those around them, reaching the lost for the Gospel when they travel?

Here are Copeland and Duplantis discussing why they need private jets to travel: First of all, flying on one’s own private jet “is a sanctuary that protects the anointing,” they said. Too many people come up to you, too many people ask you to pray for them. Copeland said, “You can’t manage that today in this dope filled world and get in a long tube with a bunch of demons.

So, they view the lost as dope fiends and demons to be avoided.

Duplantis said that he travels so much that it would be impossible to adhere to regularly scheduled commercial flights. He is always somewhere else on the next day. He needs his private jet so he can get to his next speaking engagement quickly.

Copeland owns a fleet of private jets. Story at The Hill

By the way, that is one problem with some itinerant preachers. They don’t attend their own church, they are away from their wives and families, and they become an island unto themselves rather than fellowship with the saints. We saw the devastating effect of itinerant preacher Steven Lawson’s travel, picking up a mistress along the way and hiding that fact for 5 years. Being somewhere else the next day allows for a lack of accountability which is harmful to the soul and one’s walk.

Another reason Duplantis said he needs his private plane to travel is that the Lord might spontaneously want to speak to him, and Jesse might want to speak back but the people around him might think he was weird. Copeland agreed, saying, “the guy sitting over there saying what the hell does he think he doing? You can’t do that [stand up and speak to the Lord on the plane], no…

The clip of their conversation is here.

Beth Moore has flown private plane or first class since the earliest days of her ‘ministry’. When she was aligned with the Southern Baptist Convention, the SBC arm Lifeway paid for half her travel, and Beth’s Living Proof Ministries paid the other half. Sometimes a plane was provided for the diminutive bumblebee and other times it was in first class on a commercial plane.

President Beth Moore on occasion traveled by private plane to events as the ministry saw necessary. Lifeway, a partnering nonprofit, paid for 50% of the cost of the private plane, and the remaining 50% was paid by Living Proof Ministries. underline mine. LPM 2014 tax return. Open for Public Inspection.

In 2017, Hillsong Conference paid for Moore and her daughter who was also an employee of Living Proof Ministries to fly coach to Australia. Moore used her donors’ ministry money to upgrade to first class for herself and her daughter. Source

Now since Moore’s divorce from SBC/Lifeway, Moore’s ministry pays 100% of her first class travel. Source 2023 Tax return states,

“President Beth Moore on occasion traveled by first class to events as the ministry saw necessary. The cost is non-taxable and approved by the board. Beth Moore’s first class travel is specified in LPM’s Board approved Travel Policy. This policy includes travel options that helps minimized security challenges, along with extra space for in-flight work / teaching preparations.”

So… Beth Moore spends the extra money so she can work in peace. She needs that time to prepare before she gets to the venue. Like a child doing her homework on the bus on the way to school? And yes, those “security challenges” of being with, um, those people in coach, as opposed to the “security challenges” of being with first class folk? People you could pray with and for, people who may be lost and need the Gospel. Beth Moore needs security from that?

As an aside, Moore has always been hyper focused on security. I read of a woman who volunteered to help organize the venue for one of her Live speeches, and the volunteer said that Moore had a cadre of security bouncers around her and would not even let the volunteer through to speak with Moore. In another situation, Christianity Today wanted to interview Moore, but it was hard to get to her, CT said. They had to jump through a lot of hoops. This is from the 2010 article (Christianity Today)-

It was not easy to get there. Just as Moore’s stories are at once personal and private, Moore in person is intensely friendly—and closely protected by assistants who allow very few media interviews. After several interview requests from CT, her assistants allocated one hour to discuss her latest book and ask a few questions about her personal life. Each question had to be submitted and approved beforehand, I was told, or Moore would not do the interview. Follow-up interview requests were declined. I was permitted to see the ground level of her ministry, where workers package and ship study materials. But Moore’s third-floor office, where she writes in the company of her dog, was off limits.

Moore has always closely curated her public persona.

If you have a bad taste in your mouth from hearing of these jetting Christian celebs, it’s not just your imagination. Extravagances such as those are heavily frowned upon in the non-profit world. It’s seen as extravagant and unethical.

[T]he public’s perception of a nonprofit CEO flying first-class could lead to the organization’s integrity to be called into question. Supporters of the nonprofit trust it to use those funds to best support the mission, and many would view this as a breach of that agreement, writes The Markkula Center for Applied Ethics at Santa Clara University.

A nonprofit Christian corporation’s mission is to reach the lost. Deliberately separating from the lost in order to maintain personal comfort is anathema to the Christian non-profit’s mission.

A non-profit president should typically fly economy class, even if they technically could fly first class, because doing so is considered ethically problematic and goes against the principle of using donor funds responsibly; any decision to fly a higher class would usually need explicit board approval and justification based on specific organizational needs“. Source Ethics and Nonprofits.

When I read about Carl Hargrove and his wife’s travel strategy, it was so heartwarming. It was also heartwarming to see MacArthur’s wise and economical shepherding of his means. It brought tears to my eyes to hear him relate the story of witnessing to the Muslim passenger next to him.

For the Copelands, Duplantis’, and Moores of the world, they are false teachers. The Bible says that false teachers are motivated by greed. We see their greed in pressing their people to donate for a jet, or to use Lifeway money for personal comforts that could have been used for missions.

and in their greed they will exploit you with false words; their judgment from long ago is not idle, and their destruction is not asleep. (2 Peter 2:3).

Instruct those who are rich in this present world not to be conceited or to set their hope on the uncertainty of riches, but on God, who richly supplies us with all things to enjoy. Instruct them to do good, to be rich in good works, to be generous and ready to share,” (1 Timothy 6:17-18).

Rather than make indulgent life choices, we should use our means and resources wisely, and be extra mindful if we are in a position to receive donations and support to be scrupulous in our shepherding of it.

Posted in theology

Navigating Christian Romance Novels: What’s Acceptable? part 2

By Elizabeth Prata

Part 1- Navigating Christian Romance Novels: What’s Acceptable?

EPrata photo

In part 1 of this short series about Christian Romance novels, I’d gone over the dilemma many women feel when seeking a clean, good, historical romance book. There are many thorny issues within the Christian publishing arena among novelists who discuss whether to go clean (tame), spicy (edgy) or just explicit (obscene). If it’s true that one man’s trash is another’s treasure, one woman’s clean book is boring to another, but an acceptably spicy book to one is too racy for another.

Is it OK to read romances (like Harlequin & its ilk) if the sex isn’t explicit? Are Christian romances a good substitute for secular romance genre reading?

I had explored the complexities of Christian romance novels and the challenges of balancing faith with engaging narratives, avoiding sin and idols, and inviting deeper contemplation. It isn’t just a sex scene that might instill sinful lust in a reader’s heart, but the subtle instillation of romantic expectations from these books that then lead to an idol of marriage, or romance, or husbands. These idols weren’t speculative, I’d found many comments on chat boards opining about this very issue of romantic marriage becoming an idol for some.

KimG on the Puritan Board said, “However, I find that these kinds of books allow Christian women to vicariously relive the emotional high that comes from falling in love without actually finding someone new to fall in love with. It promotes envy and lust by producing a longing for a storybook romance that no husband can ever live up to“.

The bottom line is, what Christian readers want, especially the sub-genre of Christian romance, is a well-written story that presents characters wrestling with life and coming to solutions based on biblical principles- without going into the arena of ‘too graphic’.

How to navigate this issue?

Let’s go to the Bible. While the Bible doesn’t tell us specifically what to read, there are many guiding principles in the good book for us to live by.

EPrata photo

Principle #1: Permissible but not beneficial?

Should Christian women read Romance Novels? Well, we know that the Bible says that ‘All things are permissible to us, but not all things are beneficial. (1 Corinthians 10:23). So while the Bible doesn’t tell us explicitly what to read, we understand that while we may read anything, not all things are good for us.

Principle #2: Think on these things

We are admonished to do the following in Philippians 4:8, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, think about these things.

Is this romance book worthy of praise to Jesus? Is it commendable? Is it pure?

Principle #3: Conforming or transforming?

“Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind” (Romans 12:2).

Is this book helping my mind or presenting a stumbling block? Is the book showing me a good way to negotiate a relationship in a Godly way, or is it raising unrealistic expectations of how romantic relationships operate?

Principle #4: The Conscience

Hebrews 13:18 reminds us of the importance of our conscience: Pray for us, for we are sure that we have a good conscience, desiring to conduct ourselves honorably in all things.

While reading one romance book may not violate your conscience, reading a bunch of them may begin to instill an idol…is your conscience starting to speak to you? Are you reading too many and neglecting devotionals and Bible study?

Principle #5: Guard your heart, eyes, and mind

Guard your heart with all diligence, For from it flow the springs of life. Proverbs 4:23 says. 2 Peter 2:14 warns of false teachers “having eyes full of adultery”. Are these books causing you to lust after a fictional character, a known person, or anyone other than your husband? Your eyes are full of adultery. Are your eyes full of jealousy because someone you know seems to have a relationship like in the books, but you do not?

Principle #6: Stumbling block to others

Romans 14:13 says Therefore let’s not judge one another anymore, but rather determine this: not to put an obstacle or a stumbling block in a brother’s or sister’s way.

Do you know of a younger sister in your life (younger chronologically or spiritually) who is weaker than you and by these books will succumb to stumbling?

So what good books are out there?

What are some alternatives to Christian romances? Some of the classics are mentioned frequently as a substitute, such as Jane Austen, Louisa May Alcott, Lucy Maud Montgomery, Charlotte Brontë…

Other clean Christian books not particularly of the romance genre are Charles Martin books. Below is a page with a synopsis of each of his Christian books, some of which have romantic relationships, and some not.

All Charles Martin book synopses- https://rebeccajwhitman.com/2021/12/01/the-power-of-the-written-word-charles-martin-books/

Clean books that aren’t romance or Christian are the No. 1 Ladies Detective Agency series by Alexander McCall Smith, Agatha Christie, Mrs Pollifax book series, All Creatures Great and Small series, and many others.

We can read biographical books about marriages of the saints from the past, such as Susie: The Life and Legacy of Susannah Spurgeon, wife of Charles H. Spurgeon by Ray Rhodes Jr., Marriage To A Difficult Man:The Uncommon Union Of Jonathan & Sarah Edwards by Elisabeth D. Dodds.

The Christian Lover is a book by Dr. Michael A.G. Haykin where we read love letters from saints of the past. The book blurb says, “Each letter gives us a glimpse of what marriage should be: joyful companionship, deep passion, and unfailing commitment through the ups and downs of life.More here

To conclude, reading Christian romances is a matter of personal liberty. As with all decisions you make, it is a personal one, but hopefully you are making decisions based on Godly principles.

Continue reading “Navigating Christian Romance Novels: What’s Acceptable? part 2”
Posted in theology

Navigating Christian Romance Novels: What’s Acceptable? part 1

By Elizabeth Prata

part 2 here

Back in 1992 Bruce Springsteen published a song called 57 channels (and nothing on). It was during the time when streaming movie channels had gone to a 24 hour format, (yes, HBO hadn’t always been 24 hours), cable tv was expanding, and satellite television was coming in. In my day in the 1960s and early 1970s, we had 3 broadcast channels, and later Public TV added a 4th.

Many of us marveled at the expansion of available choices for personal entertainment, but shortly we were disappointed at the vapidity of them all and frustrated by the lack of quality. It was true, 57 channels and nothing on.

Thirty-three years later we have even more opportunities for our personal entertainment in not only streaming movies and TV, but music, internet content, podcasts and print media in books. Despite the widening of choices, Christian segments of each of those industries still remains small. What do we watch/listen to/read without our eyes/ears/heart becoming dispirited (or righteously offended) by the content? For readers, aren’t there ANY safe, well-written romance books? 57 Publishers and nothing to read…

Continue reading “Navigating Christian Romance Novels: What’s Acceptable? part 1”
Posted in theology

What I Did on My Winter Vacation

By Elizabeth Prata

Our school system gives us 2 weeks off at Christmas. it is a just-in-time break. We are exhausted, and the Christmas ramp-up makes the kids extremely excited, which is more exhausting. The 2 weeks gives us a refreshment to enter into the second half of the year with vigor and eagerness.

Two weeks is a long break from work and I’m grateful for it. So what did I do with the time?

Firstly, I am not only grateful for the time off work for personal reasons, but I am grateful for the Lord giving me this job. It is a 190/day a year job. I get to be with children and educate them and I get to have time off. I’ve got 161 days at home throughout the year.

What does the Lord say about managing our time? Ephesians 5:15-16, So then, be careful how you walk, not as unwise people but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil.

What does it mean in the verse ‘because the days are evil’? It means that sin abounds. As a result, we are temped with lots of things that divert our attention from God, from serving others in the name of God, and from our own Bible reading and study.

Barnes’ Notes says about redeeming the time:

They redeem their time who employ it:
(1) in gaining useful knowledge;
(2) in doing good to others;
(3) in employing it for the purpose of an honest livelihood for themselves and families;
(4) in prayer and self-examination to make the heart better;
(5) in seeking salvation, and in endeavoring to do the will of God.

What does the Bible say about single people?

The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. (1 Corinthians 7:34).

I take that admonition quite seriously. If the Lord graciously gave me work that fulfills me and that I like – and He didn’t have to – then I should use the time when I’m not working to single-mindedly dedicate to Him. Not that I’m not dedicating ALL the time to Him, but you know what I mean. If I am sitting around here in my home, my flesh can easily watch endless reels and videos of kittens, sovereign citizens, design tips and so on. But no. I must resist the fleshly longing to be slothful or wasteful and dedicate the time to using it in ways that employ the spiritual gifts He gave me for His honor and glory.

My goal during this school break was to read 4 books. I accomplished that and read the 4 above. I watched movies such as The Princess Swap, Garage Sale Mysteries, Signed, Sealed, Delivered, and the series The Marlow Murder Club (a cosy English mystery). These were all on Hallmark. I cooked, blogged, answered women’s messages and emails of theological questions an encouragement. I went to church, prayed, read the Bible.

I am working to maintain a shepherding mentality- shepherding the time God has given me to use for His glory. Because one day, there will be no more time.

Posted in theology

Worshiping the Creator: A Reflection on Faith

By Elizabeth Prata

It’s the day most of us get to go to church. For some who can’t, they listen or watch the livestream. It’s a day when we worship together, considering who our God is and why He is worthy of worship.

I saw this 3 minute video posted on Twitter by Amy Spreeman, and I watched it. I connected with God initially by his attribute of Creator. Paul appealed to God as Creator when witnessing topagans-

The God who made the world and all things in it, since He is Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands; (Acts 17:24 NASB).

Please enjoy watching this video, and ponder the fact that He made all this. And didn’t make only her but all 8 billion people on the planet, each with unique DNA, and all the people before her, and after.

Posted in theology

This is Command Central

By Elizabeth Prata

I think we do enjoy seeing each other’s libraries and study nooks and workspaces. I know I do. So here is mine…

I’ve had 2 weeks off from school and I used it to rest and relax. Also to do a little re-organizing of my laptop files, clearing out dead links and checking bookmarks. I am mulling over the upcoming year’s books I want to read, topics to consider for blogs, and setting up what Bible Reading Plan and which devotional to follow (FYI I chose The MacArthur Daily Bible, Dustin Benge’s new Hearts Aflame Puritan devotional podcast, and Valley of Vision for the afternoon reading).

I have a nice apartment, for which I am extremely grateful. Like, grateful every day. Rents here in this rural area went through the roof in the last few years, and occupancy is almost 100%. We are adjacent to an SEC college city and our county has been ‘discovered’. Realtors call it “fast-growing.” Which practically no one likes, except realtors.

Despite being in a poverty area, our school system is in or near the top ten for the state. It’s a farming community and when I first learned of the farm gate take being in the hundreds of millions, well I was shocked. LOTS of farming, which means pasture after pasture with cows, horses, low roofed chicken houses. All that, combined with (now gone) lower cost of living, proximity to a mid sized city and the bucolic beauty all around, well, suburbia is here. Development is here.

Anyway, back to my apartment and my command central. Though there are several rooms, I spend most of my time in the kitchen at the kitchen table. Here is my command center I’ve created:

The main thing is that everything I need is within reach

The laptop is the main feature, it is my music, sermons, TV, social media, and writing & photography tool. Next to that is my agate coaster, which I switch out for a granite one. I love stone. The green larger piece of round marble is the coaster I place my teapot on.

The brown mini teapot in front of the laptop is a pencil cup. Behind that is a slightly raised up shelf of books. These are the books I am currently reading or referring to for a research into a topic for the blog. And my Bible.

To the left of the pencil-cup teapot are some practical things, hygrometer to check the humidity levels and temperature, lotion for my hands, and extra bookmarks. I have tissues on the bookshelf because I always have a stuffy nose, or for sad scenes in movies, or heartfelt prayer. Also some post it notes, notepaper, and eye drops.

The only thing I don’t like is that I have the laptop cord extending from the table to the wall which is in the way on the floor. I have a lighting problem and needed some extra light for reading at night. But I didn’t want to extend more cords on the floor.

I fixed my lighting problem by getting a chargeable lamp, and a friend bought me another one I put on the right side. And last, on the silver tray is just for beauty. Flowers, flameless tea candles, and crystal holders.

I love flowers. Just love them. If I was a rich lady with a big house that had a foyer (foy-YAY) I’d have a large round oak table with marble on the top and a huge vase of ever-changing fresh flowers. (And a butler to change them out).

I usually read here at the table, but sometimes I go over to the living room and sit in my comfy chair with a handmade quilt over my lap. Everything I need is here and within reach.

For 2025 I am planning to do the same thing I’ve done for the last 18 years, work full time, write every day on the blog, read stuff, and go to church. It’s a little life but it’s a good life.

As 2025 begins, I am reminded that the Lord has been so good to me in these past years, and He will do so again in the next year. Even if whatever happens seems bad to me, it’s good. Why? because all He does is good to those who love Him, and I do love Him.

Posted in theology

Do you know what is precious to God?

By Elizabeth Prata

Do you know what’s precious to God? I do. And I didn’t learn this in a vision or a prompt or intuition. God told us ladies what is precious to Him. It’s in His word! Here it is:

Your adornment must not be merely the external—braiding the hair, wearing gold jewelry, or putting on apparel; but it should be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. (1 Peter 3:3-4).

Because Jesus is so precious, because He is so lovely, because He is so wonderful, we should care about what He cares about. And He cares that His women have a quiet spirit. Barnes’ Notes on the Bible says:

“The ornament of a meek and quiet spirit – Of a calm temper; a contented mind; a heart free from passion, pride, envy, and irritability; a soul not subject to the agitations and vexations of those who live for fashion, and who seek to be distinguished for external adorning.”

Do we care more about what we wear than what we say? Do we care that our jewelry sparkles more than how our godly spirit is sparkling?

The Lord is not banning use of fine clothes or jewelry. It’s the intent in which we dress finely or wear our jewels. He is reminding us that He is the treasure. Do we seek to be distinguished for external adorning? Or for internal spiritual beauty?

Matthew Henry said, “The apostle directs Christian females to put on something not corruptible, that beautifies the soul, even the graces of God’s Holy Spirit. A true Christian’s chief care lies in right ordering his own spirit. This will do more to fix the affections, and excite the esteem of a husband, than studied ornaments or fashionable apparel

What does it mean to have a quiet spirit (which, remember, is precious to God)? It doesn’t mean being a doormat. It doesn’t mean submission to anything and everything. It doesn’t mean being silent. It doesn’t mean being afraid to express a thought or an opinion. It does mean this, from Strong’s Greek:

Usage: The Greek adjective ἡσύχιος (hésuchios) conveys a sense of quietness, tranquility, or peacefulness. It is used in the New Testament to describe a demeanor or lifestyle characterized by calmness and a lack of disturbance. This term often implies a state of inner peace and composure, which is reflected in outward behavior.

In the midst of the storm around you, do you retain your composure? In the day-to-day, do you display self-control?

Strive to quell the turbulence of your spirit into a quiet and peaceful one. A tall order some days, I know, when the kids are yelling and the husband is grumpy…you tend to match energy. But that is the exact time to BE quiet and peaceful. Then they can match their energy to yours. It’s a comfort for a child to see such self-control in their parent. It’s a balm for a husband to see such peacableness in a wife when his day is full of the opposite. And, it’s a joy to strive to obtain something that Jesus finds precious.

Posted in theology

Cain slew Abel

By Elizabeth Prata

Cain talked to his brother Abel; and it happened that when they were in the field Cain rose up against his brother Abel and killed him. Genesis 4:8

Adam had relations with his wife again; and she gave birth to a son, and named him Seth, for, she said, “God has appointed me another child in place of Abel, because Cain killed him.” Genesis 4:25.

I’ve often wondered about that first death of a human. How Eve and Adam must have gone looking for Abel their son, finding him dead and bloody on the ground. I wonder how they felt when they learned their other son killed him, and was exiled to live far from them. Adam and Eve lost two sons that day. But that moment when death confronted them in the form of their son Abel, knowing that their disobedience has caused it, added a layer of grief we will never understand.

This painting is called The First Mourning, 1888, By William Bouguereau (1825-1905). As was stated on an art site, “The mourners in the painting don’t make eye contact with the viewer, and the composition is self-contained and intimate. In a barren landscape, Adam and Eve – the first humans – weep for their son Abel. He was slain by his own brother Cain. His body is already pale and bloodless and lies limp in the bosom of his father. The latter is young and strong, has dark hair and a full beard and devotes himself to his wife, who buries her face in her hands in deepest grief. There is no trace of the perpetrator. Only the two sacrificial altars in the background refer to the previous episode.” Source