By Elizabeth Prata
This article addresses the tension wives face when husbands fail to lead spiritually. Drawing on counsel from John Piper and others, it urges patient prayer, humble faith, and steadfast trust in the Holy Spirit to work in God’s timing.
Years ago, I saw this cartoon. I do not know who the cartoonist is, I’m sorry. But it was early on in my walk, before I had studied about women preachers from the Bible. I was puzzled. It seemed natural that the man preaches from the pulpit. To me, men exude a natural authority more than women do. Therefore it also seemed natural that it’s the man who leads in marriage. So how would it work if a woman preached from the pulpit as ‘pastor’ or ‘reverend’ – leading her church, but turned around and submits to the husband at home? It wouldn’t, of course.
Beth Moore wrote about that quandary on her blog some years ago. She falls for spiritual fads quite often (Osteen-type mantras, blue bracelets, contemplative prayer, Lectio Divina, family altars…). She wanted her family to do the family altar thing but wanted to have her husband lead it. She wrote:
The quandary was how we were going to head a certain direction if my man didn’t necessarily want to take the lead.
And then went on in the essay with how to get her way in getting around the husband.
We know that Moore is a false teacher, anyway, but it’s an interesting question. How to guide the husband into leading without usurping his authority if he doesn’t want to lead? Women may not preach from the pulpit or usurp a man’s place in teaching the body. But what if you are married to a man who is apathetic about his walk with Christ? In the home, how should the wife approach this thorny situation? What if the wife actually is more knowledgeable about doctrine than her husband? What then?
Here is some advice from John Piper: “What should a wife do when her husband doesn’t lead spiritually? Patiently, full of prayer, full of hope, and full of forbearance and occasional efforts to draw him into conversation about her longings for him.” more at link below-
From the Biblical Counseling Coalition: “Marriage to a spiritually apathetic husband is challenging and tempting. Women in this situation don’t always respond well to their spiritually dispassionate partners. And that causes even more problems. Here’s what you need to know about how women of spiritually apathetic husbands suffer, common mistakes these wives make, and practical steps you can take to help.” More at link, part 1. Part 2 here – How to Help the Wife of a Spiritually Apathetic Husband (Part 2)
Don’t Lead Your Wife; Serve Her, writes Alisdair Groves at CCEF. For wives this is a good example of what good leadership from the husband should look like:
Scripture calls husbands to lead their wives. But what does this look like? How do we know if we’re leading our wives well? Listen as Alasdair Groves talks about what it looks like to focus on serving our wives rather than focusing on our role as leader.
For wives, this is some good advice on how to encourage your husband in his leadership role-
How to Encourage Your Husband’s Leadership (Even When He Fails)- From Crosswalk: “Leadership of your family is an enormous responsibility for your husband, and he needs your support. Here is how you can partner with your husband and encourage him, even when he lets you down.“
Marci Ferrell the Thankful Homemaker has a free downloadable pdf for wives on how to encourage your husband: (here)
Most importantly, ladies, wives, keep praying. The Holy Spirit delights in pointing you to Christ, and in helping you live out God’s will in your life. Don’t give up!
the-end-time.org 