By Elizabeth Prata
SYNOPSIS
I show that Proverbs 31 does not endorse feminist careerism. While acknowledging limited work outside the home, I look at the Proverb closely to show that God ordains that most wives’/mothers’ primary vocation is household management and sacrifice. The woman’s worth lies not in productivity, but fearing the Lord and serving family within God-ordained roles.
“But the Proverbs 31 woman was a career woman!”
If you have been around long enough, especially in the discernment world, you have invariably been taunted from feminists in what she thinks is a mic drop moment when defending feminism from the Bible. “Deborah was a judge!” “Junia was a woman!” and the old chestnut, whenever stay-at-home-wifery is mentioned, the “Proverbs 31 woman had a career!” They say she was an independent, git er done, girl boss.
Well, she wasn’t.
I wrote recently of the two sisters who started their Limited Liability Corporation “Dwell Differently”. They are founders and CEOs of their for-profit corporation. The two are also married, and are mothers of three and five children. One is a pastor’s wife. I’d said that it seems impossible for women with children to be able to focus on her home life of raising children and supporting the husband while also authoring books, going on speaking tours, researching and editing, publishing a weekly podcast, interviewing other women, creating merchandise, keeping up with the Quickbooks, client-subscriber memberships, and doing their corporate taxes, etc.
I am always reminded of the 1982 perfume commercial for Enjoli. Even as a 22 year old, I looked at this product’s claim and thought it ridiculous. But, it was late stage second wave feminism and the ad said the women could do it all. This was the mantra back then. Of course you can have a 9-to-5 job and be a mom and wife! If you think about it, the ad also says she is a 24-hour woman, which she would need to be if she did all the things the ad said her lifestyle could handle!
I do not categorically oppose all work away from the home, because the Bible doesn’t. Lydia ran a business, her husband was never mentioned. Sheerah was a builder. Rachel was a shepherdess. Today, some women who are not married, work. Of course! She that does not work does not eat. Some married women for a time work because the husband and wife have decided that is acceptable for their own reasons; for example to put the husband through college, seminary, or trade school. To pay off a debt. Medical bills. Finally, some mothers have to work outside the home, husband is on deployment, in jail, ill, or otherwise.
However, I stick tot he Bible’s directive that a wife and mother should consider her career one of home life. The Bible is clear that wives and moms are to be concentrating on their home. Titus 2:3-5, Ephesians 5:22-33, 1 Peter 3:1-6, 1 Timothy 5:14…)
As you know, Proverbs 31 presents a woman the young man should seek after. In the description, this wife has business holdings. The issue is where the primary orientation lay. Proverbs 31 woman does all for the home and you notice mainly IN the home. Her work is mainly done at home. You also notice in Proverbs 31 the wife sacrifices herself for her husband and her family.
Does mother sacrifice for her family? Or does the family sacrifice for the working mother? This is key.
Does mother sacrifice for her family? Or does the family sacrifice for the working mother? This is key.
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Why is Proverbs 31 used to often in defense of working mothers with careers? Because these women do not believe that home, wifehood and motherhood are ways for a woman to derive meaning and value in her life. They want ‘something more’. They want not to ‘be just a mother’. And they look for ways to twist the Bible to justify it.
The truth is, our only meaning and value is our adoption by God as faithful daughters of the King. There is no value or meaning to life unless one is born-again and worships the One who created us. As our Creator, He also ordained roles for us to operate within, post-salvation. In gratitude for salvation and joy in loving the Messiah, we yearn to obey His standards (or we should!). Operating within His roles is what gives us meaning in life because it honors the One who created us for His glory.
Who IS the Proverbs 31 woman?
She is an ideal, one that us frail and fallible humans can look to for inspiration but acknowledge that the standard is high. There probably is no woman who is excellent at every quality listed in the Proverb. So it’s an ideal, but one to strive for. We can’t use it as a measuring stick harshly or to judge others. Please don’t use the verses to condemn yourself if you feel you are falling short of the list. The Proverb itself says such a woman is rare.
Nevertheless, even the pertinent verse that opens the section asks –
An excellent wife, who can find? This statement gives us the impression that even though it’s true such a woman is rare…
…the young man should seek her anyway. And once found, the husband should cultivate her qualities of wisdom, thrift, industriousness, virtue etc. as they grow together under the Light of the Savior.
Dave Guzik of Enduring Word Commentary explains Proverbs 31:10-31 in this video. He wisely says,
In a sense, the complete profile of the Proverbs 31 woman is an ideal goal much as the listing of the character of the godly man for leadership both in 1 Timothy chapter 3 and in Titus chapter 1.”
The list of activities a Godly Proverbs 31 wife does is probably not done in a day or even a week. It is indicative of activity. The Proverbs 31 woman is busy for the home. That is the point. Guzik again,
Now, the flurry of activity that’s described in these verses doesn’t mean that she does all these things in a day or even in a week, but it does point to how much work and how many different kinds of work are involved in wisely and properly managing a home. Listen, if you think about a woman who wisely and properly manages a home, she’s got to know a lot and be diligent in so many areas. Women today can take comfort and confidence that God recognizes right here just how big the job of a woman is in managing the home in a godly and wonderful way.
Does the Proverbs 31 illustrate or affirm that a wife and mom can or should have a career? Is she a feminist? Here is a comment from a husband on the Puritan Board addressing that:
What is a career, exactly? My wife does pretty much eveyrthing that the Proverbs 31 women does and yet, by modern standards, does not have a career (namely a job outside of/apart from the home). She likes to purchase things, work in the garden and will even sell some of what she knits but even in these things her business is the home and the home is her business.
The Proverbs 31 wife is not an ideal of feminist philosophy. She does not have a career outside of the home. She does all for the home.
It would be wrong to interpret the Proverbs 31 woman as embodying feminist ideals because of her strength, shrewd business practices, or economic contribution to her household. Don’t look so much to her activities and successes, but look toward the end of the passage. This is the climax of the set of verses. It is the point.
But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30b).
She fears the Lord. Her worth above rubies is not in how well she accomplishes the list of activities. Her worth is in her strong relationship with the LORD. And if you have a deep love of the Lord, fearing Him in joy, that joy will become an outpouring of love for husband and family in service to the home. Because this is what the Lord has ordained for most women. A wife/mother will seek to pursue the highest standards of her God-given career of wife/mom as possible. Her loving fear of the Lord is the rare jewel!
Further Resources
I enjoyed this essay called “The Struggle of Being a Proverbs 31 Woman in a Feminist World.” It is well written and wise. The author is Mariah Cox and she wrote it 11 years ago. I looked to see if she is now married with children to see if she followed up with her thoughts, but could not find anything. I wish her the best that Jesus has to offer.
The Excellent Wife, Ligonier devotional
the-end-time.org 